Shitty Asses Part II: Wiping Her Clean
 

Tomorrow's Blog entry... I've saved it as a draft for publishing in the morning.
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Dear Constant Reader,

There comes a time in the life of a porn blogger when one must bring you back down to earth on the joys (and pains) of photographing naked women. One of those times was back in March, when I briefly mentioned models with shitty asses. There is more to that story, of course. And today is your day to read all about it.

Not long after the events in that post occurred I found myself in my Explorer driving out to Salmon Hole to photograph a different model. Along the way I told her about the model who'd had shit on her ass. We had a good laugh about it.

We arrived at our destination and hiked down to the spot beside the river/creek where I wanted to start our day's shoot. I unpacked my camera gear while the model changed into her first outfit. I seriously don't peek at the girls when they're changing, even when doing so right in front of my face as this girl was doing. Had I done so I might have noticed a problem. But I just concentrated on getting my camera ready, giving the lens a final wipedown.

Once the model was ready I began shooting her. I had her strip down, as usual, while shooting away. I had her sit down on a rock for some frontal spread shots. Then I had her turn around on that same rock so I could have her spread her legs for some "doggy style" shots, ever so popular with my members (and myself - but that's another story). I was zooming in for a close pink taco shot when what-to-my-wondering-eyes-should-appear... shit! Smeared all over her right ass cheek! No, this is not a joke. I'm DEAD SERIOUS.

Now I'm facing a dilemna. The two of us had been having a good laugh on our drive about the other shitty-assed model I'd photographed. Now here she was in the same, err... position. Do I tell her about it and let her clean herself, thereby insuring that the rest of the shoot will be less shitty but more tense? I mean, she's going to have a complex about it after hearing some of the things I said about the other model's personal hygiene. But I can't just keep shooting photographs of poop on her ass. What to do? What to fucking DO?

I told her to hold the position for a moment. I quickly walked to my camera bag and took out a lens cleaning pad, took the pad to the nearby river/creek and soaked it. Then I walked up to her, she's still doggystyle, and told her, "You have some dirt on your ass from sitting on that rock... let me wipe it off real quick". And that's exactly what I did.

Then I quickly through the shitty pad into the water and watched it float away. The shoot went on and she never had a clue.

I'm telling you... it's not all fun and games. And once again I have to plug the benefits of using flushable baby wipes instead of regular toilet paper. Just fucking DO IT!

Now some beaver is gonna choke on that pad and die.

HAHA Great story and good way to handle it..

lol, took me a minute to catch that

Quite the diplomat and gentleman you are.

:1orglaugh :thumbsup

tough job sometimes . . . but you are missing niche content there

http://www.hometownmedicalsupplies.c...s/fq/ww901.JPG

...so fresh and so clean.

Another reason why i bealive america should adopt the Bidet... best invention ever..

:1orglaugh

Cool story....

Dude, this is like the 10th time I've seen you post about shitty asses, and not just on this board. Hmmmm.

hey, sometimes the last man is afraid to jump... so he must be wiped away which will almoast always result in a smear to the wipe side.
at least she dosent wipe from the front, then she would have a brown pussy.

Great story

Different story. And what can I say? I love shitty stories!

And as I said, this will be tomorrow's blog entry. An entry like this got my PORN blog a link on a few mainstream sites in the past.

This thread is best without pics

:1orglaugh

That would probably make a great niche:

dirtybuttholes.com - :1orglaugh

The things you have to do to make a buck - jeez

Donny, you're about as good as they come.

Thank you for that compliment! :)

I guess I've been lucky, because in shooting hundreds of models over the years, I have not encountered even one model like that.

Also, it would have been a greater dilemna for me since I make it a practice to not touch models while I'm shooting, and I certainly wouldn't touch them anywhere near their privates.

At least your story had a happy ending and you spared us from having to see any scat shots. That shit creeps me out. :1orglaugh

ADG Webmaster

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh awesome

Fuckin A man....its guys like you that allow us (content buyers) not work as much....good photography and common sense and good thinking to keep a model in place, especially without losing her sexiness....

i hate photoshopping dirty butthole and what i refer to as "butt scabies" butt scabies can occur on the butt and pooch....we all know what it is....shave burn mostly....but some girls....what do they not realize..."hey im going to a photo shoot in a week, i should do the right hing and wax"
week later...
"gee im doing a photoshoot tomrorow, i better shave"

girls if you must.....do right befor eyou leave the door.....

to those who take pride in the beautiful pink pussies.....praise you.....and ive got a mean tongue :winkwink:

wow... you are such a gentleman....

ahahahaha

No before and after pictures?

You gotta be fucking deadass stupid to not notice shit on your ass, think you should have kicked her ass out the door :mad:

"Then I quickly through the shitty pad into the water and watched it float away. The shoot went on and she never had a clue.
"

Nice stuff your doing there for the environment btw :321GFY

Is this common? Other photographers face this problem or are Donovan's models trying to tell him something? :winkwink:

thank God no one has ever posted a pic.