The new phone book's here!!!!
 

The new phone book's here. The new phone book's here. This is the kind of spontaneous publicity I need. My name in print. That really makes somebody. Things are going to start happening to me now.

Discuss.

I really hate those cans.

Do you have a Twinkie, by any chance?

http://www.pornfinders.com/gfy/twinkies.jpg

No, but for one dollar I'll guess your weight, your height, or your sex.

Is it true there is a camera in the bottom of every Twinkie box?

Now you just need to find a use for your special purpose

Yes they sure are. something on the lines of, Hi this is Tim from windows r us have you heard about the great new promotion We are doing.

I think I got that call earlier today . . . it is happening sooner than I expected

I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days. And the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days. And the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day, and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it.

First I get my name in the phone book and now I'm on your ass. You know, I'll bet more people see that than the phone book.

Had to change our number, drove Me crazy all hours of the day and night.

One time I answered and said I was not in and would be not back for months.

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

lmao!! :)

It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family, singin' and dancin' down in Mississippi.

Well I'm gonna to go then. And I don't need any of this. I don't need this stuff, and I don't need you. I don't need anything except this and that's it and that's the only thing I need, is this. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray. And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need. And this remote control. The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need. And these matches. The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control and the paddle ball. And this lamp. The ashtray, this paddle game and the remote control and the lamp and that's all I need. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one - I need this. The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches, for sure. And this. And that's all I need. The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair.

ah yes. I have my temporary driver's license - and - my astronaut application form... I didn't pass that though, I failed everything but the date of birth.

I'm gonna bounce back and when I do I'm gonna buy you a diamond so big it's gonna make you puke.

I'm picking out a Thermos for you. Not an ordinary Thermos for you. But the extra best Thermos that you can buy, with vinyl and stripes and a cup built right in.

I'm picking out a Thermos for you. Not an ordinary Thermos for you. But the extra best Thermos that you can buy, with vinyl and stripes and a cup built right in.

GMTA :1orglaugh

Huh? I am not a bum. I'm a jerk. I once had wealth, power, and the love of a beautiful woman. Now I only have two things: my friends and... uh... my thermos.

:winkwink:

http://www.stevelaplaca.com/jerk.jpg

Good Lord - I've heard about this - cat juggling! Stop! Stop! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Good. Father, could there be a God that would let this happen?

I will need two pieces of identification.
Ah yes. I have my temporary driver's license... and my astronaut application form. I didn't pass that though, I failed everything but "date of birth." I uh... didn't get the job.

Please try to keep up

"I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit, and on the slitted sheet I sit." There. I've never been relaxed enough around anyone to say that.

LOL i was laughin to hard and missed it, classic flick.

I wasn't comfortable enough to say it myself

You mean I am going to stay this color?

Yeah, sorry about that.