Laughing so hard im crying.. How long has it been since i've been to bash.org?
 

too long!

<ohm> damn
<ohm> FUCK
<ohm> DAMN
<ohm> i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my grandmother's window pops up
<ohm> FUCK
<ohm> i go like this to her
<ohm> "i want to suck on your clit"
<ohm> FUCK

<TLF> smoke
<TLF> im calling u out hustlah
<TLF> bring it
<MegaSmokeX> Why, bitch?
<TLF> first person to hack the other person wins
<MegaSmokeX> k
<TLF> lets see your 1337 skillz bitch hahaha
*** Signoff: TLF (Connection reset by peer)
<Ginnsu> Goddamn O_O
<Saunders> pnwed.
<MegaSmokeX> I think thats the luckiest Ive ever been in my life...

EvilEye:i just found out that i have competition for student government president
EvilEye:hes blind
EvilEye:so heres my campaign slogan: "I have a vision"\

<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<phxl|paper> and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances :D-<
* nmp3bot dances :D|-<
* nmp3bot dances :D/-<
<[SA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet


<Fashykekes> Capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse.."


<Quake-Hat> brad, your mom is fine as shit
<Quake-Hat> i think i will masturbate to her while i play with my balls
<bad_brad> brad had to go blow his nose, but thanks for the compliment, i will be calling your mother
<Quake-Hat> Jesus-fucking christ!!!

SomeGuy> God: "Hello Osama?"
<SomeGuy> Osama: "Yes God"
<SomeGuy> God: "Osama.. did you hear about the tsunami?"
<SomeGuy> Oasama: "Yes"
<SomeGuy> God "Beat that you prick.."

one for chio

WormyWyrm: I don't think half as many people would pirate games and movies
WormyWyrm: if they didn't give it such a cool name
thelandofsiam: Yea, nobody would do it if it was called Illicit Data Transmition
WormyWyrm: exactly
WormyWyrm: noone would talk about it at all, too hard to spell
thelandofsiam: ARRR IM A SOFTWARE PIRATE
WormyWyrm: Gimmie yer booty and new versions of half life
thelandofsiam: Yarrr
WormyWyrm: YAR!
thelandofsiam: I must restart my ship
thelandofsiam: brb


<AgentSmith> It seems you have been leading two lives, Mr. Anderson. In one life, you are Robert Anderson, assistant cook at a Jack in the Box in Mesquite....in the other...you go by the chat alias "Randerson"...spreading homosexual propoganda, lying, and being a generally immature pest...
<AgentSmith> One of these...has a future.
<Randerson> LMAO OMFG where's the phone, I have to tell Dean about this
<AgentSmith> How can you use the phone when you cannot...speak?
*** AgentSmith sets mode: +m


<T-Wolf> man, my girlfriend left me for some faggot named robert
<RdAwG20> you don't live in Hope mills do you?
<T-Wolf> ya, why man?
<RdAwG20> lol, just wondering, was her namne alisson?
<T-Wolf> you mother fucker


Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh shit!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...


also check out :http://www.totalillusions.net/forum/...topic=328&st=0

that site has some of the best shit ive ever read, pure comedy

how can you use the phone when you cannot speak

sets +m

lol

That's fucking hilarious!

<xxxGirlygirlxxx> Thank you for listening to me.
<xxxGirlygirlxxx> You know your a really good listener.
<xxxGirlygirlxxx> Sweety please say something.
<Sandaedar> Ok I'm back.


<Eticam> I was in biology class once, and the teacher said there was sugar in sperm
<Eticam> And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then
<Eticam> When she realised what she said her face became red like a spanked monkey ass
<Eticam> Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat
<Eticam> The girl started crying and left class ^^

<Stormrider> I should bomb something
<Stormrider> ...and it's off the cuff remarks like that that are the reason I don't log chats
<Stormrider> Just in case the FBI ever needs anything on me
<Elzie_Ann> I'm sure they can just get it from someone who DOES log chats.
*** FBI has joined #gamecubecafe
<FBI> We saw it anyway.
*** FBI has quit IRC (Quit: )


<link>once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, " give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404.
<hokage> *cries*, scary....


<frank> can you help me install GTA3?
<knightmare> first, shut down all programs you aren't using
frank has quit IRC. (Quit)
<knightmare> ...

<Locl-Yocl> I helped the EMTs at a car wreck and got blood all over my arms and shirt. It looked like I murdered 20 people with a fork... anyway, I walked into a convieniance store down the street and said my girlfriend needs a tampon. The guy at the counter was mortified.


<Batty> Euch, rap is just missing one letter. c.
<zeep> rapc?
<Batty> ...
<Batty> Crap you idiot. you put the c on the other end
<zeep> oic
<Batty> Though you could also say it's missing an e
<zeep> wtf is erap?
* Batty bangs his head repeatedly against a wall


<kylev> BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<kylev> hahahahaha
<kylev> some girl just came onto our floor
<kylev> and was yelling "sexual favors for anyone who does my sociology paper"
<kylev> i just asked her what the paper was about
<kylev> and she said the accomplishments and growth of feminism
<`Neo> bahahahaha

IronChef Foicite: well, there's a lot of reasons
IronChef Foicite: i mean, roses only last like a couple weeks
IronChef Foicite: and that's if you leave them in water
IronChef Foicite: and they really only exist to be pretty
IronChef Foicite: so that's like saying
IronChef Foicite: "my love for you is transitory and based solely on your appearance"
IronChef Foicite: but a potato!
IronChef Foicite: potatos last for fucking ever, man
IronChef Foicite: in fact, not only will they not rot, they actually grow shit even if you just leave them in the sack
IronChef Foicite: that part alone makes it a good symbol
IronChef Foicite: but there's more!
IronChef Foicite: there are so many ways to enjoy a potato! you can even make a battery with it!
IronChef Foicite: and that's like saying "i have many ways in which I show my love for you"
IronChef Foicite: and potatos may be ugly, but they're still awesome
IronChef Foicite: so that's like saying "it doesn't matter at all what you look like, I'll still love you"


< robT> Name ONE thing that your windows comp can do that my MAC cant
< bawss> Right click.


<[BAC]Draxon|TWL> "The animals will hear!" bellowed the ear licking penguin as the awesomely endowed midget sucked her oozing charlies and plugged his purple middle leg into her festering hahahaha.
<[BAC]Draxon|TWL> oops
<[BAC]Draxon|TWL> wrong window
<d|syztem> what the FUCK


JstWnnaHveFuN08: do you think i should call a guy friend and talk to him about my problems? or will he not care?
Thilo: Here's how it works: if a guy helps you with your problems, you're obligated to give him a blowjob.
JstWnnaHveFuN08: lol thanks that cheered me up
Thilo: No problem. That'll be one blowjob please.


<blazemore> LITTLETON, Colo. - Colorado officials plan to try a 15-year-old boy as an adult for allegedly offering a Sony PlayStation to have his aunt killed.
<FlipTopBx> is it modded?


(Mootar) morons.
(Mootar) these people who live in my apartment complex are connected to my wireless
(Mootar) they must think they're super-cool hackers by breaking into my completely unsecure network
(Mootar) unfortunatly, the connection works both ways
(Mootar) long story short, they now have loads of horse porn on their computer


<Charlesowns> Man i was surfin porn and like "normal" surfin at the same time, so my mom comes in and i quick as hell tab down the porn. So now im looking at a SWAT vest and an Mp5 submachinegun trying to hide the giant penis in my pants. Then all of a sudden this realy gay male voice speaks out realy loud goin "i want to suck your big dick ans swallow your hot sperm" then like 100 popups open up all consisting of hardcore fetish gayporn.
<Charlesowns> man my mom started crying and now she thinks im gay... it owns

<@Chin^> My sister caught me jacking off the other week and calls me a pervert
<@Chin^> just the other day i walked into my room and caught my sister masturbating
<@Chin^> So she calls me a pervert again?!?
<@Chin^> there is no justice in the world...

<glacial> I love school
<glacial> Today our term paper due date's set
<glacial> Our instructor says that we WILL hand in the paper on time, and she'll accept no excuses except illness, with a note from our doctor, or a death in the immediate family, with a note from the dead member.
<glacial> So this wiseass pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?"
<glacial> She waits for the laughs to die down and says:
<glacial> "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand"

I'm still cracking up... I so shouldn't be wasting time there..

Yep thats an absolutely classic one.

<RSX-2003> my friend might get suspended from school
<RSX-2003> she's enrolled in child developement, so she has to work with the special kids on campus
<RSX-2003> and they had their own dance, and my friend cintheia was the DJ
<RSX-2003> and she put on the song by black eyed peas called "lets get retarded"
<RSX-2003> if she didn't start laughing she probably wouldn't have gotten in trouble

<Fulgore> whats the complement to a 43 degree angle?
<sparks> My you're looking "acute" today
<Fulgore> fuck you


*sigh*

LOL, come on granny

man that is soooooooooooooo long!!!

<Khel> you know what rocks, when you have a headache, and you start up icq, and that FUCKING FOGHORN blares in your face
<Khel> Honestly though, what sort of retard makes a program that starts up by blaring a foghorn at you
<DeePer> the foghorn is a sign of like, bon voyuage isn't it?
<Khel> the foghorn is a sign of a big boat sailing through fog

<ckx> i've got nothing against homos
<ckx> as long as they don't fuck me or touch me
<ckx> they're alright
<gb> what if they cum on you
<ckx> that's a grey area

The grandmother thing it is too funny lol

hahahaha
that's the best one, I had spemt couple of hours on bash.org too

www.faimous.net is great for aim quotes. it is new but seems to be catching on quick i enjoy it more than bash.org

<blazemore> LITTLETON, Colo. - Colorado officials plan to try a 15-year-old boy as an adult for allegedly offering a Sony PlayStation to have his aunt killed.
<FlipTopBx> is it modded?

Thats fucking brilliant.....

That is by far one of my favorites :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

I used to love reading those

Gotta love that site.. Ive spent some hours there too from time to time. :thumbsup

cool one!...:thumbsup


they're really funny...:)

Wow that brightened my day!! I have been under so much stress lately and those laughs certainly helped!

xoxox,
Megan

lol funny stuff