Dictionary For Words In Women's Personal Ads
 

DICTIONARY FOR WORDS IN WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish............................................49

Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone

Athletic....................................No breasts

Average looking..................................Ugly

Beautiful.......................Pathological liar

Contagious Smile.................Does a lot of pills

Emotionally Secure.....................On medication

Feminist........................................Fa t

Free spirit...................................Junkie

Friendship first..........................Former slut

Fun.........................................Annoyi ng

New-Age...............Body hair in the wrong places

Old-fashioned................................No BJs

Open-minded................................Desperate

Outgoing........ ............Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate............................Sloppy drunk

Professional..................................Bitc h

Voluptuous..................................Very Fat

Large frame...............................Hugely Fat

Wants Soul mate..............................Stalker

There should be one for men too :)
WG

wonder how long it took for you to compile that list

I sweated over it for months

I agree with that list =)

that list is actually very true :thumbsup

wg . I will let you come up with that one .. I am already the bad guy

lol

NIce description, I wonder if how feminist groups would react on that!

the same way they react to you promoting porn I guess

looks fairly accurate :)

exact list, i think women will agree with it :1orglaugh

you forgot cuddly! that also means fat.

tony

Don't forget the language translations....very important when dealing with the opposite sex.

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want..
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

And here's the dictionary for words in Men's personal ads (feel free to add your own)
40-ish................ 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic.............. Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking....... Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated.............. Will patronize the shit out of you
Free Spirit........... Banging your sister
Fun................... Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking.......... Arrogant
Very good looking..... Dumb as a board
Honest................ Pathological Liar
Huggable.............. Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle....... Insecure mama's boy
Mature................ Older than your father
Open-minded........... Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Sensitive............. Gay
Spiritual............. Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable................ Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful............ Says "Excuse me" when he farts

Here's a few more

Social...................... Has been passed around like an hors doeuvres tray

Poet........................ Depressive Schizophrenic

Romantic.................... Looks better by candle light

Young at heart.............. Old bat

Copied from nomarriage.com


Real meaning of words in women's personal ads.
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Strong woman - Bitch with a severe case of self entitlement.


Classy - Bitchy 45 year old real estate agent type.


Seeking gentleman - Looking for rich guy who isn't interested in sex.


World traveler - would love to go to Europe as long as you're buying.


Intelligent - She isn't but thinks she is, and you'd better entertain her.


Rubenesque - Fat


Sarcastic - Bought into the whole Gen X irony thing and is really a miserable bore to hang out with.


Make me laugh - You're expected to be highly entertaining right away.


Sick of bar scene - She doesn't get hit on at bars due to one or more physical flaws.


Friends first - Reformed slut


Tired of games/jerks - I fucked and sucked my way through fifteen counties, but now I want a docile schmuck to pay my bills and not pester me for sex.


Shapely - Fat


BBW - Grossly, morbidly obese (Bring Burgers With)


Must like kids - I want a putz who will break his ass paying for another man's cast off progeny.


Loves the Outdoors - Closet Lesbo


Snuggling and Warm Fires - No Sex


Enjoys Traveling - You're paying, right?


Fun Loving - Fucked 100 guys


Meaningful Relationship - Slavery


Nurturing - Smothering


Sassy - Insufferable by the third date.


Bubbly - All fuckin happy all the damn time to the point of annoying.


No games! - I won't put up with your games, but I will gladly infuriate you with mine.


Eccentric or quirky - Psycho...


Grown up man - Sucker willing to marry and support my lazy fat ass.


Financially Secure - You should own about 200,000 shares of MSFT.

No shit. I like going to Yahoo personals and seeing fat chick WITH PICS, state how they are "voluptous" or "a few extra pounds". Ok I can SEE that you are a fat pig. Don't make it worse by LYING. That is why I would NEVER repond to an ad without a pic. Too many fricken liars WITH pics.

which while we are on the topic. Some tips for you ladies. When you post a pic;

A) SMILE. Just because life sucks and you are lonely and hate men but still want one don't show it.

B) No pics which are basically pics of your and your ex with your ex cut out. we can tell.

C) You really shouldn't have pics with your friends in them ESPECIALLY if they are hotter than you. Also no pics with you and male "friends"

D) No pics with kids. Yes you love your kids, they come first and so on and so on. When men see pics with kids we think "Oh I'm the replacement dad". Hey we may actually want the job one day but let's get thru a few date first at least ok?

E) No web cam pics. Ok is that ALL you do is sit in front of your computer that you are to lazy to go to wal-mart and get a $5 disposable camera which take a pic about 10X better than any webcam? No to mention web cam pics usually have crappy lighting. trust me very few peole look BETTER in a webcam pic.

Some other tips

No "Looking for Mr Right" or "Looking for Prince Charming". Most guys looking probally have the same low self esteem as you. Don't ad more pressure.

No "Tired of Losers" or other man hating titles. A) profiles should POSITIVE B) Gives us the feeling you hate men C) Tell us you suck at picking men so what are we supposed to think if you pick us?

Do not put "If you are just looking for a one-night stand don't bother" in your add. As I said before POSITIVE ads. Also I don't care but ALL men want ass on the first date. Doesn't mean you have to give it out and it doesn't mean we won't date you again if you don't. Those statement just make you look prudish and that maybe you ar a lousy lays.

Also if you are going to put that statement in DO NOT post a "sexy" pic with you profile. I've actualy seen an ad where the girl was laying on a bed in a nighty in a sexy pose then proceeded to make clear in her profile she wasn't looking for a one night stand. Could have fooled me.

No only searching for men with VASTLY better bodies than you. Don't expect Mr Universe if your 20 lbs overweight. Don't expect Tom Cruise if you look like Roseanne.

No searching for men that make vastly more money than you. Seen one add where the chick check wher she made less than $25K but he MINIMUM for a man had to make over $75K. I mean WTF.