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Ode to Masturbation Month...(pic)
May is National Masturbation Month in the US.
So here are three great ways to celebrate: * Start every day in May by masturbating in a public bus or subway. Make sure you are standing in the front and facing the other passengers. Remember, the point of Masturbation Month is to reduce cultural shame and show you are proud of your pud pulling! * Change your GFY sig to a picture of you masturbating. (Animated gif if possible.) What better way to end every correspondence during May! * Offer kick-ass Porn to all the horny surfers of the world with new FHG's from FLASHCA$H sites! (Making galleries out of your own ?spanking sig? is optional.) So make sure you get in the spirit this month and enjoy a month of one-handed typing, red hot FLASHCA$H sites, and Lubriderm!!! http://flashcash.citizensex.com/tool.../phoebe420.jpg p.s. http://flashcash.citizensex.com/tool...arrowtours.jpg p.p.s. This is from this week's FLASHCA$H newsletter...why aren't YOU signed up!? |
oooh, right... NONE of you masturbate. ;)
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:1orglaugh :1orglaugh
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http://g-n-v.com/pinkpiggy/tassyrubs.gif oh wait, what's that? |
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i looooove masturbation month :thumbsup :thumbsup |
cash in flash
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heh...I wonder how many youngins don't even know what movie that scene is form. :)
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is this masturbation month approved by the bush administration i only masturbate 9 times a day now, might have to bump it up a little. lol. |
No, I have my wife to do it for me.
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fast times at ridgemont high is a classic
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Great photoshop!
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"Doesn't anybody knock anymore"
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If I didn't jerk off twice a day I'd be a serial killer.
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thanks for the reminder, going to shake the governors hand vigorously now...
cheers :) |
PS: please mention to the Rhinos that it'd be a wicked nice idea to add a camcrush/gx3/streamate/epiccams version to their program that pays out weekly by epass :)
grazie |
Useful Euphemisms:
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha Abusing the usual suspect Angry fist action Answer the bone-a-phone Assault on a friendly weapon Bhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha Backstroke roulette Baiting your hook Ball off Batting practice Bash the bishop Bash the candle Beat off Beat your hog Beating the bait Beating the bishop Beating the dummy Beating the snake Beating the stick Beating your meat Being your own best friend Belt your hog Blanket drill, The Bleed the lizard Bleed the weed Blessing the alter boy Blow Your load Bludgeon the beefsteak Bop the baloney Bop the boa Bop the hog Boppin' your bologna Box the Jesuit Boxing the clown Buckin' it Buffing the banana Buffing the wood Burping the worm Bust a nut Butter your corn Chahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha Cajun clown fucking Calling down for more mayo Calling genie Cast off Chafing the weasel Changing your oil Charm the cobra Chicken milking Choking Charlie 'till he throws up Choke the sheriff and wait for the posse to come Choke Kojak Choke the bishop Choke the chicken Cleaning out the rope Cleaning the pipes Cleaning the rifle Clubbing Eddy Clubbing the dolphin Coax the cajones Coming to grips with yourself Couch hockey for one Cough your filthy yogurt Cracking one off Cracking the fat Crank the Shank Cranking Creaming the banana Crown the king Cuff the carrot Cuff the governor Cuffing the puppy Dhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha Date Rosey Palm and her five daughters Dating Miss Michigan Detoxifying the puppy Devil's handshake Diddle yourself Dishonorable discharge Doing the knuckle shuffle on your piss pump Dong flogging Doodle your noodle Drain the dragon Drain the monster Drain the vein Drip the pickle Drop off a load Drubbing the dolphin Ehahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha Eberting Siskel Fhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha Fapping Fertilizing the Lawn Fetch the bagel dog Fiddle the ferret Fight your turkey Firm your worm Fist fuck Fist kabobing Fist your mister Five against one Five finger knuckle shuffle Five knuckle olympics Flog yourself Flogging the bishop Flogging the dolphin Flogging your dong Flogging your log Flong your dong Flute solo Flying a kite Fondle the fig Freeing the willies Friction therapy Frig yourself Frigging the love muscle Fuck Mary Fist Ghahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha Gallop the antelope Get a hold of yourself Get your nuts off Getting in touch with your manhood Getting in touch with yourself Getting to know yourself Getting your caps peeled Gherkin jerkin' Giving it a tug Giving oneself a "low-five" Giving the John Hancock Grease the pipe Greasing your bone Grip your dip Grooming your junior Hhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha Hack the hog Ham shank Hand dancing Hand jive Hand job Handle yourself Hands on training Hand to gland combat Hand to hand combat with the purple helmeted warrior Hand work Having a pull Having a roy Have it off Have one off the wrist Heating up the hot dog Hitchhike under the big top Hitching to Heaven Hit the ham Holding all the cards Holding your sausage hostage Hone your bone Hump your fist Hump your hose Humpin' air Ihahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha Interrogating the witness Ironing some wrinkles Jhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha Jack hammer Jack off Jackin' Jackin' the beanstalk Jag off Jazz yourself Jerk off Jerk the gherkin Jerk the Johnson Jibbin' Jiggle the jewelry Jimmying your Joey Jiving with Johnson Juggling the javelin Khahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha Keep the census down Kick one out Killing kittens Killing the beast Knock the top off Knuckle shuffle ***** Brought to you as a public service... ADG Webmaster |
Masurbation Euphemisms continued...
Lhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha Launching the hand shuttle Leakin' the main drain Living by the fat of the hand Lizard milking Loping your mule Lynching the one-eyed monster Mhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha Makin' gravy for the biscuit Making the bald guy puke Making nut butter Making yogurt Mangle the midget Manipulate the mango Manual exercise Manual override Manual pollution Masonic secret self handshake Massage the muscle Massage the purple-headed warrior Menage a moi Milking the bull Milking the lizard Milking the monkey Milkywaying Molding hot plastic Muscling up Nhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha Nerk your throbber Ohahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha Oil the glove Oiling the pogo stick Onanism One handed clapping One handed humpty hump love pump, The One handed rodeo, The One-legged race, The One man show One man tug-o-war One man wrestling One man's game Phahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha Pack your palm Paddle the pickle Paint the pickle Paint the walls Pat the Robertson Peel the banana Peel the carrot Peter beater Petting the dog Playing with Dick Playing with Susie Palm and her five friends Playing with the noodle Play pocket pool Play the organ Play the pisser Play the piss pipe Play the skin flute Play the stand-up organ Playing with the snake Playing your instrument Play with yourself Plunk your twanger Pocket pinball Pocket pool Pokin' the palm Polish the bishop Polish the chrome dome Polish the helmet Polish the rocket Polish the sword Polish your bayonet Polish your helmet Polish your piece Polishing the banister Polishing the cue stick Popping the porpoise Pound off Pound your flounder Pound your piss pump Pound your pomegranate Pounding your pud Preemptive infanticide Private arm exercise Prod the peepee Promoting carpal-tunnel syndrome Pudwhacking Pud wrestling Pull the root Pull off Pull your pud Pull your pudding Pull yourself off Pulling the goalie Pulling the piss pump Pulling the pole Pulling the pope Pulling the pud Pulling the taffy Pulling the wire Pulling your pickle Pump your pickle Pumping for pleasure Pumping for power Pumping the python Pumping your gas at self-service island Punchin' the clown Punchin' the munchkin Punishing Percy Punishing the bishop Punishing the priest Punishing the Evil Merchant Qhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha Rhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha Ram the ham Releasing the hostages Ricky boxing Ride the great white knuckler Ringing the bell Rolling the fleshy blunt Roman helmet rhumba Ropin' the long horn Rope the pony Roughing up the suspect Rounding up the tadpoles Rub off Rub one out Rub the unicorn's horn Rubbing Peter to pay Paula Run off a batch Shahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha Saluting the general Sanding the main mast Shaking hands with the unemployed Shlackin' the glacknoid Scraping the carrot Scratching the itch Seasoning your meat Self-love Sending out the troops Setting sail with Captain Thumb on the USS Hand Sex with your best friend Shag off Shaking hands with Abe Lincoln Shaking hands with shorty Shaking hands with the governor Shaking hands with the unemployed Shake the snake Shaking the tree Shifting gears Shine your pole Shining the helmet Shining the torpedo Shooting enemies Shooting practice Shooting putty at the moon Shooting Sherman Shooting without scoring Shower spank Shucking Bubba Shucking the corn Simple infanticide Slam the hammer Slammin' the salami Slappin' pappy Slapping the clown Slapping Uncle Willy Slap boxing the one-eyed champ Slap my happy sacs Slap the salami Slapping the cyclops Slapping your chub Slinging jelly Sloppy Joe's last stand Sloppy sign language Smacking the snake Smite the dragon Snap the monkey Snap the whip Snapping your carrot Solitary sin, The Spank the frank Spank your monkey Spear chucking Spit-shine the purple helmet Splurtin' the spladder bladder Spreading the mayo Spunk the monk Squeeze the cream from the flesh twinkie Squeeze the lemon Squeezing the tube of toothpaste Squeezing the burrito Stall clapping Stir the soup Strangling the snake Strangling the Wonka Stroke off Stroke the stallion Stroke your poke Stroking it Stroking your goat Stroke your poker Thahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha Tadpole rodeo Taking a core sample Taking a shake break Taking advantage of yourself Taking Herman to the circus Taking Little Johnny dancing down at Knuckle Junction Tame the wild hog Taming of the shrew, The Tap the turkey Tease one out Tease the python Tease the weasel Tenderize the meat Tethering the blimp The erky jerk The sticky page rhumba Threading a needle Throttle the bottle Throw off a catch Throwin' down Thump the pump Tickle the Elmo Tickle the pickle Tickle your goodfoot Toss off Toss the boss Toss the midget Toss the turkey Touch off a batch of orphans Tugging the tapioca tube Tugging the tubesteak Tug of war with cyclops Tuning the antenna Turning on the ivory faucet Tussle with your muscle Twang your wire Tweek Uhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha Uncorking the champagne Unwrapping the pepperoni Vhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha Varnishing the cane Vinegar stroke Whahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha Wailing Waking up your bro Walking the dog Walking Willie the one-eyed wonder worm Wang whacking Wank(ing) Wank the Willy Wonka Wanking the crank Waxing the dolphin Wax your Jackson Wax your weasel Wax your Willy Whack the bag Whack off Whack your tack Whacking the weed Whapping your wang Whip the cummy Whip your cripper Whipping the one-eyed wonder weasel Whipping the pony Whipping the window washer Whipping up a batch White water wristing Whizzin' Jizz Wiggling your worm Willy tickle Winding the Jack In The Box Wing it Wonk your conker Work one out Working a cramp out of your muscle Working your willy Wrestling Jimmy Wrestling the bald-headed champ Wrestling the bald-headed sumo Wrestling the eel Wring out your rope Wring your thing Wringing 'round the rosie Wrist aerobics Xhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha Yhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha Yahtzee Yank my doodle dandy Yank off Yank the yodel Yank your crank Yank your yam Zhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha Zipper surfing ***** Brought to you as a public service by: ADG Webmaster |
You mean there's a month for this? Guess I'd better get started.
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lol! Get to work! |
I don't really have to do all that.
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:helpme |
And I thought touching door handles on non-masterbating days was bad. :(
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:1orglaugh
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very nice halcyon good newsletter by the way
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that girl is fine
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So where's the ode? Thread title says there's an ode in here, and I want it. NOW.
Start spouting poetry, Halcyon. :D |
Before rising and shining
Before brushing my teeth Before I feed my pet Before a lit cigarette I need to jack off Before taking a shower Before gargling mouthwash Before lifting the toilet seat To take a leak I have to beat my meat Before the eggs get scrambled Before the toast is toasted Before the coffee beans are roasted I gotta choke my chicken Before the tie is tied Before my shoes are tied Before the bacon is fried I must spank my monkey Before the paper is read Before I get outta bed Before good morning is said I?m going to drain my balls While thinking of a hot gal thru it all |
The thought makes my heart rate get higher and higher.
I would never put my hand there... you liar, you liar. With all of the tension and fluids deep down within, Rock hard, up, and bored, once again I begin. Imagine all the sweet girls I wish I could bring home. Imagine my friend on himself, alone on his own. Fast cars, lots of money, and a long passionate kiss, Skydiving, mountain climbing, and all the cool tricks. What do I care if I should go blind? I have to let out what's in my mind. From my personal rhythm, the eruption I seek. I feel like I'm laying in between satin sheets. All over my body everything's getting tight. The beat's getting violent like some kind of fight. Spasmodic, erotic, Coming to the crest of the hill. I just cant quit, I don't have the will. Approaching, Approaching, The top! The Peak! There's no turning back! The intense, the ultimate, the maximum climax! Me on me and me on myself Implosion ! E x p l o s i o n !! .... Utopia E u p h o r i a |
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Carry on... |
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HAHAHA!! Oh, that was sweet. |
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That just wouldn't be right. :D |
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That is a funny fucking pic Hal! :thumbsup
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