31 Very Bad Masturbation Ideas
 

31 Very Bad Masturbation Ideas


hough we encourage sexual experimentation, getting too creative can sometimes be a very, very bad thing. Here our readers share some of the masturbation disasters. Learn from their mistakes!

http://www.collegesexadvice.com/mast...mistakes.shtml

cant even bring myself to click those links

"One time I put two neodymium magnets on each side of my scrotum. They slammed together and the magnetic force was so tremendous I couldn't remove them without tools. I took two pairs of pliers and pulled like hell. They came off but I couldn't feel my sack until the next day, when it hurt like hell."

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Some of those are hilarious :1orglaugh

With a TV remote

One night I was home alone and watching TV. I suddenly "got that urge" and needed to hump something fast. All I could find to use that was remotely close to a dildo was, ironically, the remote. It was fairly good-sized and I was forcing it in and out of my pussy and rubbing my clit at the same time, and the buttons felt INCREDIBLE. So after I came, I took the remote out and wiped it off on my pants, and started to use it ... but it didn't work! I changed the batteries, I cleaned it as best I could, but all my cum had totally clogged and fried the thing! So I had to throw it against the wall until it looked plenty broken and then I told my parents I stepped on it.

lol those are great.
very amusing.

The best solution is The Masturbation Station

Fook man! ...what kind of shampoo was he using!?

...wait... I really dont wanna know :Oh crap

"I was masturbating with a candle like I usually do, but I couldn't find my usual one, so I decided to use a teal-colored one. After cumming multiple times I pulled the candle out and realized it was faded white.... I went to the bathroom to clean myself up and my cum was teal. I'll never use that candlestick again; now I only use white ones!"

Like I usually do? WTF? I'm pretty straight forward when it comes to wanking. Can someone fill me in on how that one works?

There was a girl that did that on cam when I was in high school . Everybody nicknamed her candel girl

They found some seriously demented people to write those.

Brb I have to read the article about how to suck your own dick :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

woops, thats a bad idea? :Oh crap

That I could understand but there is a mention of cum being teal, so it wouldn't be a girl. So what is it, inserting it up the peehole? :Oh crap

lol might be the funniest thing i've ever heard

With chewing gum

One day I was chewing some Big League Chew gum. It felt so soft and gooey in my mouth that I decided to rub it on my dick. It was the worst decision I ever made! As I was rubbing it on my dick, the gum got caught on my pubes. I got in the shower and spent like an hour trying to get the stuff off. Then I finally decided just to cut my pubes off with some scissors. I had no pubes left.

rofl ... why would you keep your pubes anyways

Next time you buy something and see "unknown fibers" on the label, you'll know.

do you have a pussy?

It says "I went to the bathroom to clean myself up and my cum was teal". I've never heard of pussy juice being referred to as "cum" but I've heard of cum being referred to as sperm.

Have you ever heard of pussy juice being referred to as "mucus"? Cuz it is. :)

damn that wire one..... ouch

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Yes funnyboy, I have. Now explain what's the relation between mucus and my question.

Nice.. haha those are great.