GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum

> > >>I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
> reasons:
> > > > >
> > > > >I do physical labor.
> > > > >I work at great depths.
> > > > >I plunge head first into everything I do.
> > > > >I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
> > > > >I work in a damp environment.
> > > > >I don't get paid overtime.
> > > > >I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
> > > > >I work in high temperatures.
> > > > >My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >Dear Penis,
> > > > >
> > > > >After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
> > > > >raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
> > >reasons:
> > > > >
> > > > >You do not work 8 hours straight.
> > > > >You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
> > > > >You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
> > > > >You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting
> > > > > other locations.
> > > > >You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated
> in
> > > > > order to start working.
> > > > >You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
> > > > >You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
> wearing
> > > > > the correct protective clothing.
> > > > >You will retire well before you are 65.
> > > > >You are unable to work double shifts.
> > > > >You sometimes leave your designated work before you have completed
> the
> > > > > assigned task.
> > > > >And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
> > > > > exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.
> > > > >
> > > > >Sincerely,
> > > > >The Management