9 Things I Hate About Everyone
 

Perfect Monday morning humor! :1orglaugh

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?



2. People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.



3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too," Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?



4. When people say "it's always the last place you look," Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?



5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damned floor.



6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?



7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.



8. When people say "life is short," What the hey?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?



9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?

Hhaha good stuff.

I fucking hate everyone. :thumbsup

Adam Sandler, right?

Now you know why people do not like me, Thos are the type of answers I give when people do that shit to me.

Good stuff :1orglaugh

I love #4

I do not know it was sent to me and of course I always share! :Graucho

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

#4 is good ;)

Actually , people do seem to forget they have a watch when you ask them .. And men grab their belts when they have to take a leak , or they shake an imaginary penis when asking other where they can take a piss.

The damn buttons dont work on the t.v. or are even harder to find than the remote :(


I always tell them if they dont shut up i will eat my cake and your cake..


haha i say that , i'm going to have to remember that next time someone says that . Good roast


I punch anyone who says anything, unless its my girlfriend asking to breathe.


I always say " It doesn't appear so. "


Lets sue them :)

Death

Do people actually ask that ? They must be referring to another bus, or assume your not waiting for the bus. :)

yeah, those are good.

Good stuff...lol

nice jokes :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh

you forgot:
People who come over and press the elevator button that you've obviously already pressed (the light is on, you're waiting there patiently).
"Yeah, thanks Slappy, I didn't push the button the right way. Thanks for the save, fuckface"

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Perfect Monday for a laugh, Loryn...thanks!

LoL those are great

um, might be missing the point of that one, huh?

haha some of those are great.

I will group those people in with the people that look at a huge line for one of two ATMS because the other ATM is obviously not working but yet go right up it whilst looking at everyone else in line like they must have not noticed there are two.

HAHA, I am the worst for #6. I'm always catching myself doing that but I can't seem to stop.

Love this list. :)

lmao! Fucking classic. I see that all the time and think pretty much the same thing.

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

those are funny

lol you sounds like george carlin.

This was good....

WOW good answer. Kinda fucking creepy though! That was my favorite one, out of all nine, but when you said that it made me sad! :disgust

haha, thanks for the giggles

very funny :)

I like that kind of humor LOL

new and improved...well 'new' refers to the version and 'improved' is self explanitory

:1orglaugh

me too for some reason.. i had to stop at that point and reflect :( :thumbsup

That's from one of George Carlin's books, right? Brain Droppings I think.
Awesome book and awesome list. :)

Its actually a quote from a "NO FEAR" t-shirt..

"Life is short..... but your dead for so long" or something to that effect..

They have a bunch of shirts like that

2. People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.


Sounds like me to a T

10,000 years would be okay for me. That way I could live long enough to see some long term processes and get a better understanding of what it is about. Reading? There is just too much to read in such a short time. I wouldn't be able to enjoy the little time I have! haha :winkwink:
The Bastards! :disgust

I can clearly say that you are a logical person. :) nice contribution!

I do .

Quit bitching.......... :winkwink:

98.3% of the people in said line did the exact same thing.

I used to be friends with the brother of the guy that came up with the NO FEAR line. As I recall he was also behind the Oakley Factory Test Pilot line as well.

He made so very nice cash off a couple catchy phrases.

:1orglaugh good stuff :thumbsup

could we add people that make up statistics to the list? J/k ;)



I can't remember if it is the case in the US or not but here the ATMs tend to have red and green bar next to them that says if they work or not. You can see that from a fair distance...maybe it is just the colour blind who go up.

i hate stupid blonde sluts who think they worth something :1orglaugh

very funny

hahaha these are good.