Neighbors suck!
 

Last night my drunk ass neighbor keeps knocking on my door. I allow him to come in just to humor the bastard. Meanwhile his 7 year old son is home alone. The guy heads straight for my Jack Daniel's and asked if he can have a shot. When I turn to get a glass, the fuck starts chugging from my bottle. He then leaves after I tell him I need to get back to work and leaves his empty 32oz Icehouse bottle on my desk.

20 or so minutes later he shows up again. This time is has half a salmon with him that he recently caught. He offers it to me for another shot. I take him up on his offer and he pretty much polishes off the bottle and leaves again but refuses to take his empty bottle with him.

A little later he shows up again. This time he tells me that I need to come take his guns before he kills himself. He tells me somebody just took his kid but he does not say who it was. I go over, grab his rifle and shotgun and head out the door. I am halfway to my house when I look over the fence and lock eyes with a fucking Portland cop.

All of a sudden I have 6 fucking guns on me and I am being given directions by 3 different people. "Hands in the air" "put the weapon down" "Don't move" WTF??? How can I do all of this? I make one happy and the other 2 are gonna start firing and who knows what the 3 silent ones are gonna do.

They jump the fence and pat me down then I explain why I have the guns. They tell me they got a call about the suicidal fool and thought I was him. They take my name, the guns, and tell me that they will come by if they need anything else. WTF? What about an apology? What about my needs? I need a blow job and some clean shorts. Now the assholes want MY help? GFY! All they had to do was say "sorry for the mistake" or "thanks for pointing us to the right home" or how about "thanks for taking the guns so we did not have to kill him" NOTHING! Just, if we need to use you again, we will be in touch.

All this because I tried to help the stupid drunk next door. I tell you man, neighbors suck.

LMAO!!

You need to move to a better class of trailerpark, my friend http://bbs.gofuckyourself.net/board/smile.gif

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LOL!!! no fucking way... really??? thats one to tell the grandkids..

So when are you going to appear on COPS http://bbs.gofuckyourself.net/board/wink.gif

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For real. I figure a bunch of people will think I made this shit up but it is true. Except for the part about needing clean shorts. It is not the first time I have had cops pulls guns on me. This time I was just cool with them and actually laughed a bit. It was still pretty fucked up though. I can not blame them for their actions, only the lack of consideration after the fact.

[This message has been edited by AaronM (edited 01-14-2002).]

LOL, I wish. That would have been cool as hell. http://bbs.gofuckyourself.net/board/smile.gif At least then I would have video of the incident. I almost grabbed a loaded handgun before I went over there. I am glad I thought twice about doing that.

bad boys, bad boys... watcha gonna do,
watcha gonna do when they come for you http://bbs.gofuckyourself.net/board/biggrin.gif

Fuck his cat.... that'll teach him!

No can do AMP. The other neighbor bar-b-que'd it last week. I am afraid to let my dog out of the house now.

Darn Double Post

[This message has been edited by Lightning (edited 01-14-2002).]

At least you got to keep the 32oz Icehouse bottle, that's not a bad consolation prize for the nights neighborhood entertainment.

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Ahhh... Only in America... http://bbs.gofuckyourself.net/board/smile.gif

Fuck tha police...fuck fuck fuck tha police comin straight from the underground.....

The bottle is empty man.

Nice NWA breakout pr0. Nothing like some old school shit to keep the night moving along. http://bbs.gofuckyourself.net/board/smile.gif

Sooo....what happened to his son ?

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I have no clue. I thought about knocking on his door and asking what happened but I would prefer to stay out of it and not look like the nosey neighbor.

You need to put the wheels back on your 'house' and Jed, move away from thar. Hee hee hee.

My neighbor is a hassidic Jew, who acts all pious but we know she fucks like a heathen...yep. We know.

Hello, I have a fat hairy anus, please feel free to touch it, as I am a whore.

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Why don't you just SHUT THE FUCK UP you stupid asshole punk imposter !!! http://bbs.gofuckyourself.net/board/mad.gif

Aaron.
I believe the story. That shit happens to you all the time
Did you tell everybody about the point of view you did and the transgender who needed some cash for a bottle.
That was some hairy shit! : )

Who told you about THAT one ?!?

Actually ... it was me that was desparate for a bottle ... This hot chick in the village promised she'd buy me a bottle if I went 'south' on her ...

I swear to God I did not know that SHE was a HE !!! http://bbs.gofuckyourself.net/board/eek.gif

Anyways ... a deal was a deal, and I needed my Perrier fix ...

Are you trying to say you wanted the cop to apologize and give you a blowjob?
I hope it was a female cop Aaron http://bbs.gofuckyourself.net/board/wink.gif

To Serve and Protect ...

Now give me some fucking service, DonutBoy !!! http://bbs.gofuckyourself.net/board/biggrin.gif

[This message has been edited by ArronM (edited 01-15-2002).]

Christ, poor cops probably thought they foiled a plot set up by Mr Freeze to capture Batman.
Can't blame them for pulling their guns. http://bbs.gofuckyourself.net/board/wink.gif

Let's all head over to Aarons and drink his JD.

NOW we're talking...get us some of that cock-sucking cop action http://bbs.gofuckyourself.net/board/wink.gif