My ex-wife tells me she's pregnant. Could it be April Fools?
 

I went to pick up my kids last week and I had sex with her on last Friday night. I didn't ejaculate in her but that is irrelevant since I had my second child on precum.

So she calls me this Friday Morning saying that I'm going to be a daddy. I asked her if it was an April Fools joke and she said no. But she could be just holding out on me for the rest of the day.

How in the fuck if we had sex last week could she know just seven days later that she's pregnant? That isn't even enough time to miss a period....I'm REALLY thinking that she's playing a joke on me.

uuhh.... that's too much info right there.

She wouldn't be able to tell this soon... The body needs at least a few weeks to build up enough hormones for any tests to accurately pick up the hormones from the blood and/or urine...

eather a blessing or a really fucked up joke.

congrads? i think?

Gotta be a joke. I dont think the embryo would have developed far enough to tell pregnancy

maybe and maybe not.. let us know..

Useful post. :thumbsup

it's just an april fools, it never happen in just 7 days to get pregnant :pimp

for real...i think shes full of shit.

hope she is kidding man

Shit, I bet I can get the job done in 30 seconds. 15 if I really try.

SpaceAce

she's been getting fucked by some loser with no $$. it's his kid but she wants you to believe it's yours. april fools

its your fault for fucking your ex - dude there is a reason why we call them ex's

but if its true - then do the manly thing and marry her again for the kids and get a vasectomy (you dont deserve to have kids anymore)

if its a lie - then sue her for emotional damages and get her tubes tied - (shes an idiot for fucking you and not moving on with her life)

that's too funny. i was thinking the same thing :1orglaugh

ahahaha

he's just doing non-contest posts so he doesnt get banned :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

TMI

:banana :banana

Lol....I WANT another child. Especially since I can afford it.

When I need some white crackheads for my site, I'll be sure to hit you up for some of your content.

The only way will be with a blood test...

That's what I was thinking but I wanted to hear it from a woman. And the fact that she happens to be calling me telling me this on April 1 is VERY suspect. I think she wanted to see how I would react...And when I reacted POSITIVELY, telling her not to worry and that I would take care of everything, she had to keep going with the lie.

Then she said something about not wanting to "jinx" it and I asked "How can you jinx it if it already happened?"...

So I think she's joking.