GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum

I don't know if any of you have seen this before, but I thought it was hilarious.

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Top 12 TGP Submission Rules

1. You must never, in any way, attempt to make money from your galleries.

2. In order to be posted you must run around your computer counter-clockwise on the third Tuesday of the fifth month during a leap year. We will be watching!

3. We reserve the right to use all of your bandwidth with no remuneration whatsoever.

4. We know our traffic really sucks, so the only banners, links, etc. on your galleries must be to our own sponsors. You want us to make a profit, right?

5. We will supply you with a lot of traffic, and in return you will get absolutely nothing except your astronomical bandwidth/hosting bill etc.

6. You may not place any blind links, popup consoles, or full page ads 'anywhere' on you site or you will immediately be reported to the proper authorities for execution. The only acceptable use of these good money making techniques is on our own website. DO NOT call us hypocrites....you will be BLACKLISTED. (see #8 for further explanation)

7. You must continuously replace/update your content by spending large amounts of money 'only' through our own content provider. We are tired of seeing the same crappy pics all the time.

8. If you violate any of our rules we will report you to every single breathing being on the planet and in the known universe as being thoroughly, completely, and unavoidably blacklisted. You will be shunned and never be able to leave your house for the rest of your living days. WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE. We are tracking you in ways you couldn't possible imagine.

9. If you are on a FREE host that tries to make money, you will not be accepted. We will only accept a free host if they use our sponsor codes on their advertising. This is NOT negotiable. Both you and the free host will be BLACKLISTED if you do not follow this rule. If you need good quality super high speed free hosting, you can use ours. We have Sun SPARC IBM DELL Millennium processors which cost 6 million dollars each and they are really fast. You will be allotted a generous 50 kilobytes for your galleries. If you use more than this you will be BLACKLISTED.

10. If you do anything you will be BLACKLISTED. If you do nothing you will be BLACKLISTED. If you breathe you will be BLACKLISTED. Never attempt to contact us for any reason whatsoever. We do not want to hear from you. You are a loser and you are guilty until proven guilty.

11. All surfers must be treated like royalty. They must be given enormous amounts of FREE content so they never have to join a pay site. If a surfer asks, you must let them have sex with your loved ones. If you don't, you will be BLACKLISTED. We know what we are talking about. We are HUGE. We get over 5 billion hits daily. The surfer must not leave under any circumstances without getting off.

12. We have started a new program that lets you get posted more than once per year. It is for preferred webmasters and you must go through an intense, in-depth, screening. Many webmasters have died during this process. If you wish to be eligible for preferred status, you must name your first born child after our TGP. We will need the amended birth certificate as proof. We reserve the right to have sex with you or any of your family members. We prefer ANAL. This preferred option is very generous because it allows you to post two galleries per year. If you are a preferred webmaster and you break the rules, you will be worse than BLACKLISTED.

As always, thank for your galleries, and keep them coming. We couldn't have gotten this big without you, the webmaster. Unfortunately, we have to have these rules because of a few bad apples. Otherwise, we could rape you freely and on regular occasion.

Thank You!

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Did somebody say Free Content?