| TruckStopProductions |
03-03-2005 12:00 PM |
Breasts Reveal Personality
An Italian researcher has claimed that the size and shape of a woman's breasts can reveal her personality. Comparing a woman's breasts with fruits, Lorenzoni has categorised them into several types. He said that while a woman with large and well-rounded breasts might appear motherly, this was not necessarily true. 'She likes eating and wants to be spoiled and admired. But seldom likes sex,' the German magazine Bild quoted Lorenzo as saying. He, however, further goes on to say that if men prefer a more lively partner, they should choose a woman with 'lemon' breasts ? pert and prominent. 'These women are full of life and can laugh at themselves. They want a balanced life without surprises,' he added. According to Lorenzoni women with pineapple-shaped breasts are intelligent, have a career and are romantic and loyal. Whoever wins their heart, will not lose it quickly, he added. Grapefruit-shaped breasts are also not a good sign for good sex, although such women might look erotic. She spoils her partner, but prefers tenderness to sex, Lorenzo said. Women with orange-shaped bosoms were less likely to rock their partners in bed as they have little interest in sex. But, they are self-confident and prefer having a conversation and entering into partnerships. Small-breasted women were described as being more chirpy and intelligent. They make great partners both for everyday life and on holiday, besides being moderately interested in sex, Lorenzo opined." ?WebIndia123.com (India)
The researcher in question, Piero Lorenzoni, is an Italian "sexologist" who has authored several books, one that's a survey of eroticism in English art and another that's a history of the chastity belt. (The latter seems to be pretty popular. It was translated from Italian into French, and somebody online was interested enough to translate the back cover of the French into English.)
That being said, ask yourself this. Just because a guy published a few books about eroticism, does that mean he's an authority of any kind? Of course not. This correlation of personality and breast morphology is just ridiculous. Phrenology, the thought that the shape of the cranium reveals personality, has long since been discredited. Why should breasts say any more about people than heads?
On the other hand, if this is junk science, it sure is fun research. Just look at the article in Bild magazine that spawned this whole meme. It's in German, but the pictures of fruits and boobs tell you everything you need to know. Click on the link in the little box called Busen-Studie (Bosom Study) for kitschy pictures of watermelon and oranges collaged onto soft-porn pics of boobs. Or click on the link in the little box called Busen-Quiz (Bosom Quiz) to figure out what type you are. "Lemon or pineapple? Find out now!" Or if you want to see even dumber pictures, look at what the Sun in the UK did. Wow. Is that the absolute nadir of photoillustration or what? It tempts you to formulate a rule: any thesis that elicits such bad illustrations must itself be a bad thesis. :pimp
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