| erehwon |
02-09-2005 12:22 AM |
hahahaha=-@> 3,000 Posts! <@-hahahaha=
Thank you! Oh! Thank you! I can hardly breathe! I feel so blessed! And this statue - it's so suspiciously phallic! Oh, thank you again! I just want everyone to secretly suspect that even in my wildest AA meetings, I never would have imagined that this could ever help me get laid so much. And to the other brilliant nominees, I want each of you to know how totally mega-pumped your fake smiles makes me feel right now!
You know when they first told me I was not the father, I just had to take a Xanax and laugh about how great my experiences have been. I guess it all just makes me feel kinda special
You know, there are so many star-fucking stalkers to thank! First off though, I want to bitch slap the senile old bats of the Academy, who looked deep within their Magic 8-Balls before giving me this fantastic award! Also, I want to thank Charleton Heston, for being such a powerful force in my life. And to the hooker with the heart of gold, who taught me to take life by the fifth of bourbon. And finally, to all the illegitimate children I sired - I couldn't have done it without you!
Thank you America, and good night!
|
