I live in a crooked house.
 

When I walk down the hallway, I feel like I'm walking through a fun house at the fair. It starts to tilt to the left. When I wake up, I have to step out of bed up hill. When I'm taking a piss, I have to lean back.

It's quite odd. But on the upside, the house is a freebie from my cousin who's letting me live here instead of the house being left empty.

I was in a hotel once that was crooked as hell. My dick hung over the side of the bed all night