In this thread, we laugh at local personals

This one was removed, but saved for posterity on another board:

Reply to: [email protected]
Date: 2005-01-04, 12:39PM EST


I WILL KNOCK YOU UP!

Serious responses only please. Seeking single professional females that want to have a child. My lineage dates through both George Washington and the Mayflower (the Mayflower on BOTH sides of my family Macdonald and Archer), to and past Louie of France (through Richard of England). I don't do drugs, but do drink occasionally. My I.Q. is 140+. I am in good health. I have sandy blonde hair (was totally blond until my mid twenties), Blue eyes. Multi instrumentalist, I read music. $500 for the transaction (negotiable), travel expense, supplement for housing (if needed) and I expect paper work absolving me of any legal or physical responsibility. I will provide services (live in if need be) for the full term, and actually would like the opportunity.... as I have an interest(love) in the culinary field and want to develope products specifically for needs(crazy wants/cravings) during pregnancy. Things like "Dill Pickle Ice Cream" for instance(which could develope into more-with participants having first claim to partnership). I will cook for you with the utmost care and regard for quality and nutrition.... if you complain enough I might do laundry in the later second and third trimesters. I even have some massage skills.... that stuff is to be discussed as per....and if you so desire, will accompany you through the birthing process/and that silly race car class(Lamaze/Bradley- which ever). For more information email me.

My professional resume;

http://davidaarcherresume.bravehost.com


* I am straight
* I am single
* I have never been married
* I have no children
* I am 36 years old
* I was born in February

http://santabarbara.craigslist.org/cas/51792396.html

Discretion is the most important thing here! I am searching for a j/o buddy or someone that will let me experiment with his cock. Would like to stroke it, rub it, maybe even suck it and then put it in my a**. I am pretty average looking and would like the same, must be circumsized, sorry I just have a thing about that. Married/curious types are welcome since that is what I am.

seems you are the only one finding this funny.

Nah, i found it amusing.
I was just browsing some mormon personals out of curiousity

Is that that country singer who sang achy breaky heart?

I don't know but he looks fucking funny