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Many Blonde Jokes

Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ?
A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.

Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an F in sex.

Q: What's a blondes favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.

Q: Why are there lipstick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
A: Because she blows the horn.

Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Because everybody gets a turn.

Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A: Because she's been laid all over the country.

Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A: She picks up her purse and goes home.

Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A: Locking the car door.

Q: What two things in the air can get a blonde pregnant?
A: Her feet.

Q: How is a blonde like a frying pan?
A: You have to get them hot before you put in the meat.

Q: Why do blondes have big bellybuttons?
A: From dating blonde men.

Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They've never met.

Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A1: Introduces herself.
A2: Walks home.

Q: What did the blonde's mom say to her before the blondes date?
A: If you're not in bed by 12, come home.

Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
A: "Nice tits"

Q: What does an airplane and a blonde have in common?
A: They both have a cockpit

Q: What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?
A: Way to go team.

Q: Why is a blonde like a stamp?
A: They both get licked, stuck, and then sent on their way.

Q: Why is a blonde like a shotgun?
A: Give her a cock and she's ready to blow.

Q: Why do saunas remind some people of blondes?
A: Because they're both steaming and wet when you enter, and they don't mind if you bring friends.

Q: What's one thing everybody sees in a blonde?
A: A dick.

Q: What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
A: When you slap a mosquito, it will stop sucking.

Q: How do you give a blonde more headroom?
A: Adjust the steering wheel.

Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?

Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".

Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.

Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.

Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
A: Perri-air.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it.

Q: What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station?
A: The Air Pump.

Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.

Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 blondes.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".

Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning?
A: It swells at night.

Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved.

Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A blonde parade.

Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch a cold?
A: They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.

Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
A: Frosted Flakes.

Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A: To cover up the valve stem.

Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blondes head?
A: A Space Invader.

Q: What do you see when you look into a blondes eyes?
A: The back of her head.

Q: Why do blondes drive VW's?
A: Because they can't spell Porsche.

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night.

Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?
A: Branch Manager.

Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.

Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A1: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
A2: So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home.

Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
A1: A golden retriever.
A2: A labrador.
A3: An indicator of a really bad hangover.

Q: Why are blondes hurt by people's words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.

Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proofreading.

Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.

Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last year's hide and seek champ.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley?
A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.

Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A: An air bag.

Q: What did they name the offspring of a blonde and a Puerto Rican?
A: Retardo.

Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear.

Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

Q: What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase?
A: "It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt."

Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?
A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.

Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a blonde.

Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.

Q: How does a blonde get pregnant?
A: And I thought blondes were dumb.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way.

Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her.

Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?
A: Bobbing for french fries.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?
A: She has a checkbook.

Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
A: There is a stamp on it.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.

Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables.

Q: Why do blondes like lightning?
A: They think someone is taking their picture.

Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?
A: Reservations.

Q: How did the blonde kill her toy poodle?
A: Trying to put batteries in it.

Q: Someone asked if a blonde believed in smoking.
A: She said "Yes, I've seen it done."

Q: Why does a blonde have an IQ 1 point higher than a policehorse?
A: So she won't shit on the street during a parade.

Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy?
A: Hide her hairbrush.

Q: How do blonde braincells die?
A: Alone.

Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.

Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
A: An interpreter.

Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?
A: A thought.

Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
A: Data transfer.

Ever wonder why ABCDEF are used to define bra sizes?
A - Almost Boobs
B - Barely there
C - Can Do
D - Damn good
E - Enormous
F - Fake

Quote:

Originally Posted by lil2rich4u2

i read it all :thumbsup