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-   -   The usual story when someone says sales are slow (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=400817)

Dirty F 12-10-2004 06:30 AM

The usual story when someone says sales are slow
 
Affiliates agree its the worst week ever and all the sponsors pop up to claim theyre doing better than ever.

Something is wrong in this picture.

Theo 12-10-2004 06:33 AM

Nothing is wrong. Sponsors usually lie.

AnaNicole 12-10-2004 06:36 AM

Yea it's being a bad month so far but we shall turn into good!!!!

Jace 12-10-2004 06:37 AM

soul_rebel is right, sponsors never lie

so, it must be the affiliate that is lying

Manowar 12-10-2004 06:41 AM

"Today has been a record sales day!"

beemk 12-10-2004 06:41 AM

its not a stable industry. i just did twice as much sales yesterday as i did the day before. thats just how it works, you have good days and you have bad days.

Gunni 12-10-2004 06:41 AM

I'm hijacking everyones pages, all signups go to me

Jakke PNG 12-10-2004 06:42 AM

I don't like lying.

StuartD 12-10-2004 06:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by TeenGodFather
I don't like lying.
liar

crockett 12-10-2004 06:49 AM

lol how true..

I made that post for the first time ever the beginning of this week. Luckily things turned around and I'm back on schedule to having a good week and month if it holds out like this. So maybe I will top my sales again for the 7th month in a row.

mardigras 12-10-2004 06:49 AM

Sponsors have to pay for Christmas parties:winkwink:

Jakke PNG 12-10-2004 06:51 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by MaskedMan
liar
It's true. I sold my girlfriends car yesterday, and I couldn't lie to the buyer so we agreed to drop the price by ?150 because some small faults *I* pointed out. :1orglaugh

Dirty F 12-10-2004 06:56 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by TeenGodFather
It's true. I sold my girlfriends car yesterday, and I couldn't lie to the buyer so we agreed to drop the price by ?150 because some small faults *I* pointed out. :1orglaugh
Ahahah loser haha

I like honest people though.

StuartD 12-10-2004 06:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by TeenGodFather
It's true. I sold my girlfriends car yesterday, and I couldn't lie to the buyer so we agreed to drop the price by ?150 because some small faults *I* pointed out. :1orglaugh
I'm the same way... I go to a store, hand the cashier a $10, get some stuff and he gives me change back that has a $10 in it... and stupid me, I'll even go back to the store to give it back if I don't notice till later.

Later on I hate myself for doing it, but I always do.

Fred Quimby 12-10-2004 07:00 AM

I've noticed a lot of unusuall spikes these past 2 weeks,,,some good,,,some very very bad.

Furious_Female 12-10-2004 07:14 AM

Affiliate: My sales are down yesterday and today, is there a problem?
Account Rep: Hmm...Let me see what's up!
Affiliate: Ok
*3 hours goes by*
Affiliate: Find out anything?
Account Rep: I'm waiting to hear from our programmers still
Affiliate: Oh ok
Account Rep: I looked at our overall sales and everything seems to be normal, if not better than usual!
Affiliate: I've never gone a day with NO sales. I don't have TGP traffic and I don't convert 0:3000
Account Rep: Yeah that is odd... let me ask <insert random person's name in the office>
Affiiate: Ok
*Day goes by*
Affiliate: Hey, did you find out anything about my sales?
Account Rep: Everything is fine our our end :) <insert random other webmaster> is having record sales today!
Affiliate: I don't understand what happened to my sales in the past 48 hours... it's just weird
*Account Rep is now offline. (Invisible) of course*

:winkwink:

crockett 12-10-2004 07:17 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by TeenGodFather
It's true. I sold my girlfriends car yesterday, and I couldn't lie to the buyer so we agreed to drop the price by ?150 because some small faults *I* pointed out. :1orglaugh
:1orglaugh that's why I never got rich with my used car business lol I had to tell them everything that was wrong with the cars.

Theo 12-10-2004 07:22 AM

lol lol

Dirty F 12-10-2004 07:24 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Furious_Female
Affiliate: My sales are down yesterday and today, is there a problem?
Account Rep: Hmm...Let me see what's up!
Affiliate: Ok
*3 hours goes by*
Affiliate: Find out anything?
Account Rep: I'm waiting to hear from our programmers still
Affiliate: Oh ok
Account Rep: I looked at our overall sales and everything seems to be normal, if not better than usual!
Affiliate: I've never gone a day with NO sales. I don't have TGP traffic and I don't convert 0:3000
Account Rep: Yeah that is odd... let me ask <insert random person's name in the office>
Affiiate: Ok
*Day goes by*
Affiliate: Hey, did you find out anything about my sales?
Account Rep: Everything is fine our our end :) <insert random other webmaster> is having record sales today!
Affiliate: I don't understand what happened to my sales in the past 48 hours... it's just weird
*Account Rep is now offline. (Invisible) of course*

:winkwink:

Ahahahaha how fucking true. I have this same story like 10 times in my icq history.

Paul 12-10-2004 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Soul_Rebel
Nothing is wrong. Sponsors usually lie.
haha !! So true :1orglaugh

tranza 12-10-2004 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Furious_Female
Affiliate: My sales are down yesterday and today, is there a problem?
Account Rep: Hmm...Let me see what's up!
Affiliate: Ok
*3 hours goes by*
Affiliate: Find out anything?
Account Rep: I'm waiting to hear from our programmers still
Affiliate: Oh ok
Account Rep: I looked at our overall sales and everything seems to be normal, if not better than usual!
Affiliate: I've never gone a day with NO sales. I don't have TGP traffic and I don't convert 0:3000
Account Rep: Yeah that is odd... let me ask <insert random person's name in the office>
Affiiate: Ok
*Day goes by*
Affiliate: Hey, did you find out anything about my sales?
Account Rep: Everything is fine our our end :) <insert random other webmaster> is having record sales today!
Affiliate: I don't understand what happened to my sales in the past 48 hours... it's just weird
*Account Rep is now offline. (Invisible) of course*

:winkwink:

Lol... Right on!

seven 12-10-2004 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Furious_Female
Affiliate: My sales are down yesterday and today, is there a problem?
Account Rep: Hmm...Let me see what's up!
Affiliate: Ok
*3 hours goes by*
Affiliate: Find out anything?
Account Rep: I'm waiting to hear from our programmers still
Affiliate: Oh ok
Account Rep: I looked at our overall sales and everything seems to be normal, if not better than usual!
Affiliate: I've never gone a day with NO sales. I don't have TGP traffic and I don't convert 0:3000
Account Rep: Yeah that is odd... let me ask <insert random person's name in the office>
Affiiate: Ok
*Day goes by*
Affiliate: Hey, did you find out anything about my sales?
Account Rep: Everything is fine our our end :) <insert random other webmaster> is having record sales today!
Affiliate: I don't understand what happened to my sales in the past 48 hours... it's just weird
*Account Rep is now offline. (Invisible) of course*

:winkwink:

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Far-L 12-10-2004 01:48 PM

Sponsor: sales have never been better!

Translation: spin control is important since there are so many other programs out there diluting sales!

Affiliate: Ratios suck why are sales down?

Translation: If I whine loud enough in a public forum will my sponsor be more generous with the shave this month?



Now... spoken in Homegrownese....

Homegrown: Sales have never been better!

Translation: We stopped getting so many supposed credits/deductions when we took over our own marketing!

Affiliate: Ratios suck why are sales down?

Translation: Why aren't I sending my traffic to Homegrown?

SykkBoy 12-10-2004 02:05 PM

I get this one a few times

Affiliate: you fucking crooks! you're shaving me! I show no clicks and no sales
Me: what's your webmaster ID, I'll look at your account
(Affiliate gives the webmaster ID. I look it up)
Affiliate: I just clicked my link again and I don't see any clicks showing up.
Me: hmm, odd, I don't see any clicks either. What page are you sending from
(affiliate gives me the url)
Me: is this the only page you are sending from?
Affiliate: yes, right now
(I click the link myself and our site comes up. I wait a few minutes and check affilitae's stats and sure enough, click dones't show up)
Affiliate: You shaving fucker, I'm going to go on GFY and tell everyone you are shaving, theiving bastards. I'm going to tell the guys at NATS you're shaving so they can terminate your account with them.
(On a hunch I view the affiliate's source code and in another browser login as the affiliate and interestingly enough, he's copied his affiliate code WRONG I point out his problem)
Affiliate: Ooops, my bad.
(affiliate logs off ICQ)

Arm123 12-10-2004 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Far-L
Affiliate: Ratios suck why are sales down?

Translation: If I whine loud enough in a public forum will my sponsor be more generous with the shave this month?


lol.. you are correct.

Especially for AVS programs. Shaving is just a part of the biz and you have to accept it. Which is why you dont put all your eggs into one basket.

The_Oracle_Porn 12-10-2004 02:20 PM

Sponsors fuck webmasters over all the time, and everyone takes it up the ass and think it's normal.

detoxed 12-10-2004 02:20 PM

Ummm I've never had a slow week without knowing exactly why it was slow, always on my end.

Far-L 12-10-2004 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by detoxed
Ummm I've never had a slow week without knowing exactly why it was slow, always on my end.
Translation: I know what I am actually doing...

Far-L 12-10-2004 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Arm123
lol.. you are correct.

Especially for AVS programs. Shaving is just a part of the biz and you have to accept it. Which is why you dont put all your eggs into one basket.

I don't think anyone has to accept it. We sure don't.

Far-L 12-10-2004 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by The_Oracle_Porn
Sponsors fuck webmasters over all the time, and everyone takes it up the ass and think it's normal.
But the same holds true vice versa... Affiliates are often out there fucking over sponsors too.

What a crazy mixed up world we live in!

Beerbar 12-10-2004 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Furious_Female
Affiliate: My sales are down yesterday and today, is there a problem?
Account Rep: Hmm...Let me see what's up!
Affiliate: Ok
*3 hours goes by*
Affiliate: Find out anything?
Account Rep: I'm waiting to hear from our programmers still
Affiliate: Oh ok
Account Rep: I looked at our overall sales and everything seems to be normal, if not better than usual!
Affiliate: I've never gone a day with NO sales. I don't have TGP traffic and I don't convert 0:3000
Account Rep: Yeah that is odd... let me ask <insert random person's name in the office>
Affiiate: Ok
*Day goes by*
Affiliate: Hey, did you find out anything about my sales?
Account Rep: Everything is fine our our end :) <insert random other webmaster> is having record sales today!
Affiliate: I don't understand what happened to my sales in the past 48 hours... it's just weird
*Account Rep is now offline. (Invisible) of course*

:winkwink:

And here I was thinking it was just my rep

andrej_NDC 12-10-2004 02:59 PM

my december sales are almost the same as in november, but the traffic is up, so ratios are worse...I hope it change soon

The_Oracle_Porn 12-10-2004 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Far-L
But the same holds true vice versa... Affiliates are often out there fucking over sponsors too.

What a crazy mixed up world we live in!

Affiliates get terminated in a blink of an eye.
But who's gonna close down a program ?

Damn, someone should start to audit sponsors.

Mr Exotic 12-10-2004 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Furious_Female
Affiliate: My sales are down yesterday and today, is there a problem?
Account Rep: Hmm...Let me see what's up!
Affiliate: Ok
*3 hours goes by*
Affiliate: Find out anything?
Account Rep: I'm waiting to hear from our programmers still
Affiliate: Oh ok
Account Rep: I looked at our overall sales and everything seems to be normal, if not better than usual!
Affiliate: I've never gone a day with NO sales. I don't have TGP traffic and I don't convert 0:3000
Account Rep: Yeah that is odd... let me ask <insert random person's name in the office>
Affiiate: Ok
*Day goes by*
Affiliate: Hey, did you find out anything about my sales?
Account Rep: Everything is fine our our end :) <insert random other webmaster> is having record sales today!
Affiliate: I don't understand what happened to my sales in the past 48 hours... it's just weird
*Account Rep is now offline. (Invisible) of course*

:winkwink:


so so so true

The Other Steve 12-10-2004 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by andrej_NDC
my december sales are almost the same as in november, but the traffic is up, so ratios are worse...I hope it change soon
That is the very first time since I started in 1998 that I have seen a sponsor say anything like that.

Andrej - I nearly fell off my chair. :)

andrej_NDC 12-10-2004 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by The Other Steve
That is the very first time since I started in 1998 that I have seen a sponsor say anything like that.

Andrej - I nearly fell off my chair. :)

lol, I didn't want to stress you :)

SinBucks 12-10-2004 03:46 PM

Stats have been very sporatic the last 2 weeks

Funky Bastard 12-10-2004 03:58 PM

Join's are what you make of them! traffic is crap like always!

Far-L 12-10-2004 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by The_Oracle_Porn
Affiliates get terminated in a blink of an eye.
But who's gonna close down a program ?

Damn, someone should start to audit sponsors.

Yep. I say the same thing.... and I am a sponsor!

DutchTeenCash 12-10-2004 04:49 PM

december has always been less then the months before, october was unbelievable, november cool and december is the usual month

ppl chargeback because they need cash for xmas and a lot more $6,95 3 days and but the ratio affiliate sales-normal sales is the same growing a bit which is good ...

but our nr 1 site has been redesigned and i got to see the first looks and its amazing so thatll boost sales :thumbsup

didnt lie btw :)


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