Thank You Everyone
 

I'm sorry for cross posting this but there is just too many people for me to thank and if I wrote something to each board I would still be doing this at midnight.

I just wanted to take a moment and thank everyone that has helped me over the last few weeks. Every time I start to write something to say thank you I find myself lost for words which is a fairly rare condition for me. The 24th of November was the by far the worst and most terrifying night of my life. I know some people felt it was odd that I posted on the board that night but you have to understand that I was home alone in my house for maybe the fifth time in eight years. Add to the mix that I know I am a depressive and I guess I just need to 'say' it out loud. The 48 hours or so that it took my parents and sister to get here were the darkest but since then it has been good to have my family around for a bit.

As most of you know, I didn't ask for any collections to start up for me and in fact, I fought it a bit at first but I have to say that I am grateful beyond words at all of you that helped me and I will be helping any of you that needs it in the future. I think I can safely say that I had no idea about the costs of funerals prior to this. All I can say is that if you have it in your means to pre-pay your funeral then do it so that your family doesn't have to worry about it.

The funeral was hard and yes, I did give the eulogy. It was difficult but I am glad I did it. For those of you that have asked, there is a copy of what I read on the web - Marc's Eulogy .


People that donated have a right to have an idea of how i have spent the money they very kindly gave me. The funeral costs all together (including getting his daughters down here and housed) came to just under $7000. I have spent a little bit on a new bed as I really wasn't sleeping on the old one. I suppose it just held too much memories and his scent, etc. The first four days I had five hours sleep in total so I used about $500 of it for a new bed and mattress. The rest I am keeping in my savings account for any unexpected costs that will pop up or for when I decide to go back home to see my family. They all want me to go back now but I just can't face it because they would turn up the pressure to not come back to the UK. I have built my adult life in London and having that ripped from me along with my husband would just be too much. I am not saying that I will never move back to the States but I certainly don't want it to be a forced move.

I am going away to Liverpool on Thursday to see my best friend who was unable to come to the funeral. I'll just be there until Sunday night and when I get back my mother will have already left for the airport. When I come home Sunday night I am cranking up the punk music that I haven't been able to play with my parents here and having a glass of something and toasting my 'old punk'.

Monday is when my new life officially starts and when I will be back to being the board whore we all know I am. Also, that will be the time to start icqing like normal for work related stuff. I need to get back into life and Monday will be when it happens. I have some rough times coming up. My birthday is on the 20th and I found wrapped gifts hidden for me. That will be hard but I know what they are anyway since I dropped enough hints. I am not really going to have people with me on Christmas. A few friends were going to come down but their work commitments wouldn't allow it so instead they are coming down and spending a week over New Years and we are all raising a glass to Marc and getting rat assed in his honour. I know he would be proud.


So, thanks again to everyone that has helped. Baddog and Todd have been spectacular but every one of you has helped to show me that the world isn't really as sucky as I generally go through life thinking.

Glad to see we could help and welcome back.

Take it easy in the beginning with the booze though... From experience I know drinking is very bad when you've lost a loved one. Without anyone there to comfort you it can be too much to bare...

I'm glad to see we could help Sarah

Anyone got some kleeenex

Welcome back, Sarah. I know it has been a tough time for you and that there will be many more tough moments, but we are glad that you now feel like starting your life again.

Just kidding by the way, glad things are better even though I'm not on the list :(

Wishing you the best, Sarah!


Your friend in the Philippines,

Gene aka $5 Submissions

I wish you the best of luck, I'm glad to see that we could help a bit :)

I'm so glad you got some help here hun, you're going to move back to the US?

:)

I haven't had one sip of alcohol in all of this. I don't generally drink anyway but I think I deserve a glass.

no. Not for the forseeable future anyway. I am fighting the pressure from my family at the moment but I will fight it. All of my friends are here and I have lived here since I was 19. If I were to move back to the States I would become the little girl again and I have moved on way too much for that just yet.

First of all, let me extend my condolences to you, I know how hard you are going through rite now, but I admire you for being here, and at least share us your thoughts & grievances, you are worth ll the helped & contributions from the kindest people in adult biz. You will always be in our prayers.

no sweat

i only donated just under 10 bucks so im not a major contributor or anything but i hope it helped

plz try to keep your head up my thoughts are with you

Ofcourse you deserve a glass or two. Didn't mean to sound harsh, was just worried about you.

I understand hun, I didn't know that you had been over there that long. Stay strong and know we love you!



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I'm glad I could help out Sarah, it's good to know this community could ease the pain a bit by at least helping out financially.

Take it easy for the next few weeks and don't drown yourself in work or booze :thumbsup

I know, I didn't think you sounded harsh :)

Glad we could help. Welcome back :)

stay strong sara, gfy isnt the same without you

thanx for letting us know how your doing, I've thought about you many times since your post on the 24th (even though we've never met)

The present thing is tough, but it sounds like you're doing as well as could be expected. Have fun this week and don't think about Monday until it gets here.

Welcome back Sarah

Stay Strong :)

Welcome back Sarah - nice eulogy (if such a thing can be called nice).

Hope all the best for you :thumbsup

hope everything works out, sorry about your loss

Good luck with the future Sarah :thumbsup

Good luck Sarah!!:)

Hope you are well in the future, good luck :thumbsup

Keep the spirit alive :thumbsup

Goodluck Sarah :)

Marc was a very lucky man.

Wish ya the best Sarah :thumbsup

sarah,

your an inspiration to us all...be strong and good luck...this too shall pass.


Be well

Good luck through everything, best wishes.

Welcome back Sarah. There are no words to express how I feel, but please know that you are in my thoughts.

Hang in there Sarah. We're all pulling for you.

Try and have as good a time as you can in Liverpool......

Good luck :)

welcome back sarah, hope the future brings you only good things

:)

I really feel for ya... it's always so sad to lose a person you know so good :(

but welcome back and good luck :)

Hope it all works out ok for ya Sarah :thumbsup

All the best to you :thumbsup

werd

welcome back sarah hope all goes well for you..:)


Baxter

Good luck and my condolences

Z

Yep!! :thumbsup

I just wanted to say you've been taking this very well, and my hay goes off to you! Best of luck in getting through the rough times that come ahead. :)

Sounds like you've got it under control. Or you're putting on a good face and you're a total mess like I was when my fiance died.

Be prepared that the lonely times are going to be really awful. Keep people around you if you can. If you can't, come to the boards and find people you can "be around" even if it's just cyber. That's what got me through the first few months.

Best of luck to you. Sounds like you've got a good plan.

Welcome back Sarah and hang in there .. :)

Keep on keepin' on.

keep you head up girl !

the punk rock gods will take care of your husband and you.

thank you