Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes...
 

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.

--Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words "mank"and "ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind.

--Jack Handy Deep Thoughts

LMAO :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

that there is good stuff

As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.

--Jack Handy Deep Thoughts

Somebody told me how frightening it was how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared.

--Jack Handy Deep Thoughts

lol yessss!! jack handy is hilarious! here are some good ones:

"Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out."

"To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad."

"If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy"

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."

- Jack Handey Deep Thoughts