Any words of wisdom for a first time father to be?
 

It looks like the next year is going to be very interesting. I'm not sure I'm ready for this, but now I've got about 8 months to prepare for it.

Wish me luck!

your life as you know it will change dramatically once you have children.

girlfriends and spouses come and go, but you will be attached to your kids forever, even after you die.

think now, and plan for the future, if you are lucky your genetics will stay on the earth for the next few thousand years.

more than ever, you must be a good person.

now do the right thing.

Always wrap your tool.

Congrats :thumbsup

Even if fuck up the rest of your life you can die knowing you achieved something worthwile. :glugglug

i like to keep my nipples warm when i breast feed:thumbsup

I would try to replicate what Micheal Keaton did in the movie Multiplicity. Seriously, it is just too much to ask of one man to deal with and maintain your sanity.

omg, what fabulous news!

Congrats!
:GFYBand

good luck man...

must feel great when it happens in 8 months

You should have pulled out! :Graucho

My wife is due June 17th. My birth day.

no doubt! Nah... this is a blessing. She was told she'd never be able to have children, so this is a shock... but a pleasant one :glugglug

This being announced the same weekend Juicy and Izz invaded Canada.

Coincidence? I think not!

Congratulations, dad.

congrats!!!! I am a new father. My son is 5 weeks old now and a handful. best advice i can give is, trust your gut instinct, everyone around you will have ideas and their own way of doing things, take it all into consideration and deal with your child the way you feel is best.

Have lots of patience. your wife/gf will need your help often. be the one who has the patience to deal with things when rough nights happen and participate as much as you can. Your wife/gf will need you to be strong at times and a softy at other times. be very understanding. That's the most important thing. She will beat herself up often about things and she needs you to reassure her that she is doing a great job. Tell her that often.

Congratulations first off!:thumbsup

Get medically insured all around the board.
Go to Lamas classes
Listen to everything she says and prepare to slave for 9 months
Dont listen to your friends when she wants you to stay home and they want to go drinking
In fact any friends advice is garbage when they dont have kids of their own
Good Luck:winkwink:

I got a daugther exactly 6 months ago - greatest thing in my life My words of wisdom would be:


1) Spend as much time with the baby as possible - they grow faster than weed

2) you will learn that getting things done...takes a bit longer

3) you will start wondering what you did with your time before you had a baby

4) give your wife a massage once in a while up the birth she will love you for it

Congrats brother :thumbsup

Holy shit man. Congrats, tell Natalie we wish her the best as well.

the best advice i can ever give you, would be to love the mother

there's nothing worse than a kid growing up in a broken home

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

if the kid comes out bald and speaks with an accent, its mine, but if it comes out with gel in its hair and a newport in its hand, its juicy's

:1orglaugh


j/k

hey congrats maskedman:thumbsup

congrats man. I will tell you what I told my best friend and he has lived by it since day one.

No matter what the circumstance be there for your kid.

Kid's in the end don't give a shit about toys, a nice house, a nice car whatever. All they want is dad playing with them after work, showing up to school events, or their soccer/football/baseball game.

Just be involved..everything else will fall into place.

Right on, bro! Congrats!

I can't give any valid advice. I'm not a father yet (that I know of at least). :thumbsup

always pull out in time,

where is the skill? :2 cents:

This is the best advice!! What good is having toys, and a nice house if your dad isn't involved in your life?

Give that kid all of the love that you can...in the end that is all that matters!!:thumbsup

CONGRATS!!:thumbsup

Uhmm.. believe it or not, people's relationships don't happen like porn movies... besides, getting a girl pregnant who was told she'd never be able to be... that's real skill :glugglug


To everyone else thus far, thanks for the advice. I agree with everyone... especially Eros. I know we didn't talk forever in Phoenix, but I'm sure you could guess by now that I'd definitely want to be there for the child, at all times :thumbsup

wow . . . well congrats . . . the one piece of advice I always give is tell the kid you love them, every day. You can start now, who knows when they start hearing. and it will get you in the habit.

I have other great tips, but you will have to buy the book.

Piece of advice my Mom gave me, which I found to be true:

Instill values before the age of 16. Because at that point, the micromanagement is over. When a kid can drive, and his/her friends can drive, they have the ability (to a greater or lesser degree) to go wherever they want, and get into whatever trouble they want.

My daughter is 16. She went out with some friends the other day, and ended up coming home hours early. I asked her why, and she said "they wanted to go to a college party. I said no. I'm not ready for that."

I acted all calm and collected, and said "Good for you" and let her go about her business. Inside, I was going : "THANK GOD!"

And then I remembered my Mom telling me that, and I gave her a call and a chuckle.

Congrats Stuart and best of luck. Re-read Baddog and Latinasojurn's posts a few thousand times :thumbsup

Congrats. your life just got greater. :)
advice, dont listen to what people say..do this, do that, dont do this, dont do that, ur doing this wrong and that wrong..
follow your gut. Be the best dad you can be, fill your home with love and respect and security. And all will be well. :)

congrats!

kids are so awesome i learn something new every day.

my advice would be don't blink because they grow up so QUICKLY - it's amazing. a constant reminder how old you are getting hahahah.

good luck man.

hmm. well, congrats. hopefully this is what you want, as it doesn't sound planned. cheers bro

Dave

Give your kid a break. Stop and listen before raising your voice. Swat him in the ass when he needs it, but not too hard. Talk and listen to what he has to say.

Have a conversation with him and mute the TV even if your game is on. Tell him you love him.

Congrats...:glugglug

you on the ball..... and that line made me piss myself lol thx:thumbsup

Congrats!!! Kids are the best!!! :thumbsup

Congrats :)

Hey congrats, that's cool, good luck, you deserve it

get lots of sleep now cause you won't for awhile when the baby arrives. congrats!

Yeah, it wasn't planned... it's a bit of a shock. But it's not unwelcomed. I definitely look at this as a blessing and am very excited. She's not as optomistic simply because she hasn't eaten much lately and been feeling ill... but she looks at it as a blessing too. I've had a smile on my face all day, breaking the news to family... everyone is happy as can be :)

Thanks again everyone... this is pretty huge... it's a lot for me to take in, but I love the kind words and good advice. No matter what anyone says, GFY comes through when it counts :thumbsup

When the time comes, right out of the hospital, where the little one is waking up every 2.5 hours and screaming and the screaming never stops and after you've changed and fed and burped and checked for random nails in the diaper and you think you're going to die.... Just remember we all go through the same thing, we did it all to our parents and its all worthwhile when you hear "daddy" for the first time. believe me :)

I think this letter I wrote to my son for his 10th birthday pretty much sums it up.

:)


Wow, how my time with you has flown. 10 years ago today I was having lunch by myself at a nice restaurant in Boca, oblivious to everything around me. Lost deep in thought, the most I'd ever been before. Sitting there alone pondering, wondering, thinking, even sending a few tears rolling out of my eyes as I prepared myself for what I knew would be the most dramatic change in the course of my life.

It was a long 9 months til this day was upon me. You already had your first plane ride when we left our years in California behind and headed to the East coast so we'd never have to worry about your safety like we did when the monstrous 6.8 Northridge quake rocked our world on Jan 17th, 94. You were the impetus for us to move. You hadn't even arrived yet and yet you were already having a profound effect on our life decisions. I was in awe of your power already.

And now here I was knowing you were mere hours from arriving after a long 9 month journey. I wondered from where you were coming and the whole process of life and death began to swirl in my mind. My own father had passed away suddenly 7 years before and in a strange way I hoped maybe it was his soul coming back again now to be my son. The celestial cosmos is so vast and mysterious and surely holding secrets and dimensions our minds can not comprehend, but I did hope it would be him coming back and being reborn through you.

I wondered what you would be like. What color your eyes would be. Would you be a gentle kind soul like me or more intense like your mother was. I wondered if you would be blessed with a brilliant mind, a handsome face, a hearty laugh. The more I thought the more I prayed to God just asking simply for one that would grow up to be someone good, with a strong sense of integrity and character, who would be caring and respectful of others, maybe even that you would be one of the "gifted and special" ones who comes here for a stay, as a single man, but leaves having influenced and changed the lives of millions, and made the world a better place.

I prayed most of all just that you would make it out healthy and alive, without any complications. Your doctors had given us quite a scare months earlier when an ultrasound film slide from another mom was accidently placed in your file and the doctor spotted indications of potential downs sydrome. The doctor had called us with the wrong film in hand and said we needed to come in right away to make a decision whether to abort you or risk the potential of dealing with a brain damaged child. Our hearts sank and we both cried our eyes out in utter shock being faced with that decision. In my heart I said instantly, and perhaps selfishly, this couldn't be right, we were both bright, how could we be faced with this type of decision to make, it just couldn't be meant for us. We rushed immediately to the doctors office and I said to him there must be a mistake, this can't be true. It was then relief came and the doctor noticed a mismatch in the file code on the film and realized indeed that wasn't you we were looking at inside the womb. I felt joy again, but at the same time a moment of silence and sadness knowing that now some other mom and dad to be who had thought everything was fine with theirs would be crushed into a mountaineous decision.

I finished my meal and my phone rang. It was your mom. She went off on me. How could I be sitting in a nice restaurant having lunch while she was laying in a hospital room she yelled. I couldn't believe it. Here we were about to experience the most joyous day two people ever get to share, and just hours before we were fighting. She hung up on me. I started to cry. I couldn't believe it. I said another prayer asking God to give you my even temperness and not get her type of intense quick to get mad type of personality. The doctors had given her a shot by the time I got to the hospital and she was relaxed and apologized. And there I sat for a long 8 hours. We talked, looked lovingly into each other's eyes, held hands and never let go. We sat there like two children filled with the anticipation of waiting to see what Santa had brought us on Christmas day.

The sun set, the winds were howling outside, a storm was approaching and still you gave no sign of coming. Hours passed and finally at about 9 PM the doctor walked in and said simply, "Its time, let's have a baby." The words resonated deep into my soul. My eyes swelled with tears as I realized this was it. The moment was now. Another soul was about to land on planet earth and it would be my child.

6 minutes went by. You were quite the stubborn one. I think you were happy and content where you were and didn't really want to leave that cozy spot inside the womb. The doctor was starting to look puzzled. A bit of concern struck my mind and I said whats wrong, why isn't he coming out. I tensed up inside thinking there was something wrong. My heart was racing. My hands were trembling. And then like magic, something started to appear. Oh god I said, that's his little head. Then again, you just stopped. The doctor joked boy oh boy he's going to be a stubborn little kid. If I only knew how true that would to be. He grabbed a huge pair of forceps. I shouted out won't those crush his skull. The doctor said no, your skull was soft and it would bounce back to shape in minutes. So there I was, watching you being pulled out like someone reaching into a big salad bowl. It humored the moment for me.

And then with what seemed like a thrush of waves onshore, all of you came sliding out. I waited for that magical sound. Wanting to hear the cry of your birth. It didn't come. I shouted is he ok is he ok. It looked like you were trying to say something, but nothing was coming out. He lifted you by your feet upside down and gave you a gentle smack. And then it came. Wow you were a loud one. Tears of joy that you were finally here and had arrived ok gushed out of my heart and eyes. I ran over to you and put your tiny little hand to mine and you grabbed my finger and sqeezed it hard. I felt your soul in that moment. I felt your love. I felt the bond that would be ours for a lifetime.

And then time seemed to stop. I realized I had just created another human being. I felt the creative energy of life and death had passed through my soul and now to yours. It was an incredible sense of power and pride, an incredible sense of responsibility and committment, I felt as close to God and the Universe as one ever can.

Your mom grabbed my other finger as you held on to mine. I looked into her eyes and she looked into mine and without saying a word our eyes said the words "this is a family now, this is what life is all about, this is what life should always be, this is caring, this is joy, this is genuine love."

So Happy 10th Birthday My Son! I Love You and Thank You for all the joy and beautiful memories you have given me over these first 10 wonderous years of your life. You are all I imagined you would be and more.

haha yes true that is some dam good skill.

all kids want is parents that they feel they can talk to about anything, all they want to be is accepted and loved.

having a kid can change your life for sure, good luck. :thumbsup

remember your child is from you not you

The best advice I ever got before my first was this.

Feed them when their hungry.

Change them when they need changing.

Don't give them sharp sticks to play with.

That's it and it works great for me.

One more thing. Go see all the movies you want to now, and go to all the dinners with your wife now.

Once the baby, comes it's all over.

Congrats!!!!

My heartfelt congrats!

Our little girl is due the first week in January.

The process so far has just been absolutely amazing.

be patiant and try not to get too jealous after baby is born

Advise....
Be very patient and understanding with your partner. My gf's mood swings were crazy and the crazings are even more wierd - Ice Cream with French Fries.

I find that after my daughter was born I was more focused. Once you hear the word "Daddy" come from his or her mouth you will be attached forever.

That brought so many feelings and thoughts back to me that I had whee my son was born 5 weeks ago, and a tear. You're a good man.

Take lots of photos because they are only babies once in their lifetime.

I think it's your choice to either...

Build them up, or tear them down.

The rest is just time spent together or apart.