European Union Holds Emergency Meeting
 

Brussels(Reuters) - The Commission of the European Union held a closed door emergency meeting of the full Executive Council in Brussels, Belgium yesterday to discuss plans to deal with what member countries have deemed a growing problem that could cause irreparable damage to the Union's international relations with several if not all other countries of the world.

Commission President Marcel Aubertin issued a brief statement following the emergency session. Aubertin's statement read.

"We will and are taking action to eradicate the problem before it becomes more dire for the European Union. We can no longer let this imbecile known as 'European Lee' run amok through the Internet bringing disgrace upon our continent. We are willing to negotiate with this individual but we will not capitulate to his perverted and sick demands. We do not engage in such activities, they are against the law so we will never acquiesce to his demand to send him 5 hairless young Romanian boys. It is our hope that we can come to some financial agreement whereby this madman will relinquish his screename of 'European Lee'. We have suggested several new names for him but he is an obstinate oafish man. What is wrong we asked him about 'Homosexual Lee', 'Knob Gobbling Lee' or 'Fagbitch Lee'? Are these not as descriptive as 'European Lee'? He is an unreasonable son of a bitch. We are now in contact with the State Department in Washington and will have further updates soon."

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