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-   -   Like To Piss people Off??? Use Some Of These (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=394476)

xxxmaster 11-26-2004 08:36 PM

Like To Piss people Off??? Use Some Of These
 
Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."

If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

Sniffle incessantly.

Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."

Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.

Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.

Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.

Check out a novel from the library and write the surprise ending on its first page.

Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.

Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

Pay for your dinner with pennies.

Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

Ask people what gender they are.

Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.

Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day..

Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book, claim its a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

Chew on pens that you've borrowed

Jeff aka NIGHTfall 11-26-2004 08:40 PM

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh awsome list :thumbsup

BuckLover 11-26-2004 08:42 PM

:1orglaugh

xclusive 11-26-2004 08:43 PM

Awesome list i've used many of these many times...

xxxmaster 11-26-2004 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jeff aka NIGHTfall
:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh awsome list :thumbsup
lol i know thanks i have some more ill post shortly

Furious_Male 11-26-2004 08:43 PM

Quote:

Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
Classic. I do that all the time. :1orglaugh

Shoehorn! 11-26-2004 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by xxxmaster

Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

:1orglaugh

sickkittens 11-26-2004 08:44 PM

These would be funnier if I were in junior high but I guess this one did make me laugh.


"Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down."

xxxmaster 11-26-2004 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TheSmutPeddlerDOTcom
:1orglaugh

:thumbsup i fucking love-love it-love it ha ha

Warden 11-26-2004 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by xxxmaster
Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book, claim its a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.



These two had my in tears!:1orglaugh

Jeff aka NIGHTfall 11-26-2004 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by xxxmaster
If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."

Check out a novel from the library and write the surprise ending on its first page.

Ask people what gender they are.

Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book, claim its a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

Chew on pens that you've borrowed



LOL
those are my favorites.... imma do the hairdryer one tomarrow standing next to my friends white caprice :1orglaugh

Spunky 11-26-2004 08:48 PM

:1orglaugh Great list and so true

xxxmaster 11-26-2004 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jeff aka NIGHTfall
LOL
those are my favorites.... imma do the hairdryer one tomarrow standing next to my friends white caprice :1orglaugh

take a fucking picture and post it........lol

xxxmaster 11-26-2004 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by xxxmaster
Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.


Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.

i do most of these most of the time ha ha

kowntafit 11-26-2004 11:09 PM

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Some funny shit there.

Vitasoy 11-26-2004 11:11 PM

Some of those are great.

wyldblyss 11-26-2004 11:11 PM

Gee...half of those describe my husband.....he is to say the least very amusing.

Babagirls 11-26-2004 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sickkittens
"Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down."
:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

xxxmaster 11-27-2004 01:05 AM

i love this shit...... bump for the night shift

Bigjohn 11-27-2004 02:14 AM

Here's my favorite...

When you are the passenger in a car and the driver is backing up, slap your hand on your door panel and yell out "oh shit!".

bryany 11-27-2004 03:23 AM

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh


Nice!! :thumbsup

Manowar 11-27-2004 03:28 AM

the lego brick one really pissed me off as a kid :1orglaugh

Michaelious 11-27-2004 05:00 AM

Very good list :thumbsup lol

Drake 11-27-2004 05:08 AM

hahaha we're all guilty of many of those

Raf1 11-27-2004 08:26 AM

some nice ones :thumbsup

ironlung 11-27-2004 09:00 AM

LMAO good shit


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