Pick up lines
 

What is the best pick up line you ever heard ?

Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?

Excuse me, ma'am, is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?

That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.


Anybody else?:glugglug

:1orglaugh Good one

what about ...


Wanna go for a pizza and a fuck ? .... what's the matter you don't like pizza ?

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

These threads are always good for a laugh.

Excuse me but would you mind if I wore your ass as a hat?

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

bend over bitch.

Just where do those legs of yours end?

Ok last one from me... I love this one...

Hey, baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?

You should be glad I'm not a Viking. You would have been ravaged and plundered by now.

wanna fuck ?

I like the one i heard scott at sweetapples.com use when we were in San Diego. This girl was talking on her cell phone and Scott said. "why are you calling me i'm right here"
He got a nice smile and a chuckle. I thought it was pretty good :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh

hey baby, if you were a burger at McDonalds.......They'd call you McBeautiful.

nice shoes - wanna fuck?

Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?

Your daddy must have been a baker, cuz you have great buns.

The word of the day is "Legs". Spread the word!

Do you like eggs? Just wondering what to make you for breakfast

(lick finger and wipe on her shirt) "Let's get you out of these wet clothes...

Hi my name is... What's yours? :)

:1orglaugh

that might even works ... I'll try it thursday night :)

Excuse me. On my way over here I tripped and hit my head. I'm gonna need your name and number for insurance purposes.


And it FUCKING worked. Too bad she was a psycho bitch.

dont know about the best but i have gotten some bad ones, actually some of these are some of the better ones ive heard, but i always laugh when guys try cheesy pickup lines or really pickup lines at all, just be real and it will get you alot further

Do you want to do a line?

i just ask the woman if they want to have sex, if they say no i go find another woman to ask.

simple, yet effective :1orglaugh

law of averages baby. They can't ALL say "No" :D

This thread inspired me t update my website today, here's my all time favorite pick up line. It's more of a pickup technique, or. whatever.

This is one of my favorite ways to pick up women. Walk up to them, introduce yourself, and tell this joke.
Three flies find themselves trapped under a glass jar by a quick housewife. There are two girl flies and one guy. The girls are flipping out, "Oh god we're gonna die we're gonna die!" The guy fly sees an opportunity and tells one of the girls, "Listen baby, I know how we get out of here. I aint saying a word unless you fuck me though." So they do their thing. Fly style, of course.
When they get done, they have a smke and a drink and the guy fly ssays to the girl fly - "Listen - this is what you do. Fly around in circles, at least 12 circles, hit the top of the glass and make it fall over. Then we all get out of here!" She looks at him a little funny, but it seems the only hope so she does it. Buzzzzz buzzzz buzzzzzzzzzz BANG! She hits the top of the jar and falls down dead.
The other girl fly starts freaking out, "Oh shit, now we are NEVER going to get out of here! What do we do?!" Very calmly, the guy tells her that the other girl did not pay attention, and if she would like to know the answer to their dillema, she's going to have to put out too. With no other option but to fuck for freedom, she bends over and gives up the booty.
Now the guy fly says to her, "Listen sugar-tits, the other broad did it all wrong. You have to fly clockwise to get the jar to tip over! Now get us out of here and I'll take you someplace nice to eat."
Not having many other options, the girl starts making her way around the inside of the jar. Buzzzzzzzzz.. buzzzzzz..BANG! She hits the top of the jar and falls down dead.
Then the guy fly gets out of the jar and goes about the rest of his short life.
Now you go back to your drink or whatever and act non-chalant. The suspense will drive almost anyone crazy, so when she asks you how he got out... you reply, "Fuck me and I'll tell you." I love that one!

I am no Fred Flintstone but I'll make your BED ROCK!

youll be supprised how often the "so, do you want to have sex?" line works

"Hi there, I just found out my rich uncle passed away and left me a $1 million inheritance with the stipulation I get married by Saturday. Can I get you a drink?"

"You're ugly but you intrigue me."

To a snob who shoots you down:
"Don't be so picky -- I wasn't."

"Wanna come back to a party in my toolshed?"
This last one has a slightly higher success % in the rural areas ...

You ask: "Is your father a thief?"
To which she rolls her eyes and responds: "Yea, yea. I know this one ... this is where I say 'no' and you say 'Then who stole the stars and put them in your eyes, right?' "
You look puzzled, then say: "No, actually I was going to say 'coz I just saw him in men's room wearing a bra."

Suck me beautiful :1orglaugh


You ask girl: Did it hurt?
she asks what?
you say when you fell down from teh sky :Graucho