for as little as
 

In recent years Canadians have come together as never before in our generation.
We have weathered corporate/government scandal, layoffs, fires, mad cow, SARS, high gasoline prices, a health care system coming apart at the seams, and a myriad of economic and physical disasters both great and small.

We must, once again, come together to overcome our greatest challenge ever: hundreds of professional hockey players in our very own nation are locked out, living at well below the seven figure salary level. And if that weren't bad enough, they could be deprived of their life-giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result of the lockout.
BUT YOU CAN HELP!
For only $20,835 a month, about $695.50 a day, you can help an NHL player remain economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves the problem, as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it's a start - and every little bit will help!
Although $700 a day may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a hockey player it could mean the difference between spending the lockout golfing in Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred dollars is no more than a month's rent, half a mortgage payment, or a month of medical insurance, but to a hockey player $700 will partially replace his daily salary. Your commitment will enable a player to buy that home entertainment center, trade in that year old Lexus for a Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.
HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?
Each month you will receive a complete financial report on the player you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, real estate holdings and other investments will be mailed to your home. Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of your player lounging during the lockout on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean (for a signed photo please include an additional $150). Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other people's suffering.
HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?
Your NHL player will be told that he has a special friend who just wants to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in case additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.
GIVE TODAY!

All suckers can send money now to
12345-67 Se Samie Street
Edmonchuk, Alberta
C/O: ME



All I can say is Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee ...
NO MORE MULLETS!!

I always thought unions were usless, but now I know what they are truly good for.
A sincere thanks.

there will be no hockey this year. canadians will survive, there are mooses to fuck and yellow snow to be eaten, spring will arrive and life will go on.

I miss hockey but not that much

:1orglaugh

yellow snow to be eaten? it remind me of the jackass movie.