grr i got jury duty, how do i get out of it?
 

:(

act racist

so if i said something like..

yeah go arrest that hahahahahahas babies before they grow up to be criminals just for being a hahahahahaha ?

*hahahahaha starts with an n
*i don't personally believe that

And I am trying to get jury duty... I was upset because I got summoned at my old house and did not qualify to serve, twice! I've never had jury duty but I imagine their profile will help you get out of it. I would make racist comments or tell them you are a pornographer :) Should work.

yep, if they think your too ignorant to be fair.. they wont let you be a juror for that case

just tell then that you think the guy is guilty.

predisposition is a NO-NO when it comes down to Jury duty.

On the other hand, you may enjoy it. It is fun sometimes.

Yea go buy some shirts off that site and and memorize those slurs

wow I bet no one has ever tried to get out of Jury duty before, I bet they've never had anyone say anything inflammatory thinking they'll get dismissed.

why would i buy the shirts just to memorize the slurs? they show exactly what the shirt looks like on the website

ok fine, say you already know he's innocent because you are a great judge of character and that you have never been wrong in your life :)

for every question they ask say...

" sounds like something a commie would say "

Sure fire way of getting out of it is:

Tell the judge that you believe EVERYONE is guilty UNTIL proven innocent. And that if they are there in court then they must have done something wrong in the first place to get picked up.....

They will tell you to get the fuck out of there so fast...

okay ill say..

I wish I could be on this jury duty so i could make sure that hahahahahaha gets put away for a long time, unfortunately I can't.. I have a home based business creating and managing websites, and I also have a 2 year old daughter to watch.

Just go and do what you gotta do ... be a responsible man

george carlin's advice:

"say, 'Oh this is great, I can look a person straight in the eye and tell if they're guilty!'"

or something along those lines ;)

When someone else is talking, stand up, crouch and cover your ears while screaming "Not those voices again!"

Tell them you watch alot of local news everynight.

come unshaved in a ballerina dress and start pee in your pants when they ask you questions :thumbsup

tell them the truth, you are a dope addicted porn slinger. they will tose you fast.

:bowdown «"for every question they ask say...

" sounds like something a commie would say "»

:1orglaugh

I'm pretty sure that the judge heard all the lame excuses. It's not that easy.

You need an extremely good reason.

I've been there, and the judge knew when it was bullshit or not. Some people had to get back in line and wait.

Anyway, they only select 12 people out of 200 and the lawyers are pretty selective. Just mention that you are a pornographer.

:glugglug

Why do you want to get out of jury service?

Why don't you try and do the decent thing and show up and do your best for your community.

You fucking idiot.

I've changed my mind. Do what he says ^^^

Just say this:

"I'm not prejudice, I hate everyone equally."

There is a slight chance that won't work in California:winkwink:

Start crying or twitching whenever they ask you a question. Or keep asking "Are you homophobic? I think you are homophobic. STOP LOOKING AT ME!" They won't want you on the jury. :)

It would help if you were prescribed an antipsychotic... but talking to yourself and acting crazy are good enough. :Graucho

I'm going through the same thing right now. I got a summons this summer. I have a day job so I wrote a letter on company letterhead saying work was too busy right now and they couldn't afford to have me out & had the owner sign it.

It worked, but I fucked up by adding "right now" because they only postponed me instead. Now I'm scheduled for the entire week after T'giving.

So now the other day I sent them a sappy letter asking to be excused saying I'm single, living alone, financially unable to miss work, that I'm sole supporter, need a full paycheck each week, my company doesn't pay time off for jury duty, blah blah blah.

Several friends used that excuse and got dismissed so we'll see if it works for me. Just make it sound pathetic as possible and it should work.

acting racist will not work as they will still summons you and question you under oath as to what you are racist against, you don't know what color the defendent is

you could say you dont believe in the jury system and as a result could not be able to make a decision as part of a jury

stop and do your duty as a citizen

Just tell them that you are a self-employeed poster on gofuckyourself.com who sells sigs cheap.

watch "The Jury", you'll get lots of pointers there or just stand up as a man and do what is right :thumbsup

Judging by your occupation and likely age, it's unlikely you would ever be agreed on by both sides, so I wouldn't worry about it.

Shoot the judge