If a gay guy jumped on your back...
 

would you beat him off , or leave him on?

leave him on. I'm not in the habit of beating off fags. although rumors on the internets would have people believe otherwise.

neither. I would jump on him.

throw him on your back and film you beating him off

I'd reach around and wack him off!!!

I would keep farting until he decides to leave.

The question is, if a gay guy finds your table at a convention, do you let him kiss you? :Graucho

If one were on my back I'd know I'd pulled! :glugglug