Saying goodbye forever?
 

Have you ever had to say goodbye to a loved one, knowing that it would be the last time you ever see them? How hard was it to walk out that door? How did you handle it?

I suppose one should just be thankful they had the chance to say goodbye, but I just can't imagine how hard it would be, knowing it means forever.

DId it in my last relationship and it took alot of thought and coming to understanding that it was forever.

yes, it has to be really hard but some people at least have the change say "good-bye", but most of them even don't have this last chance:(

Madonna - Power of Goodbye

Your heart is not open so I must go
The spell has been broken I loved you so
Freedom comes when you learn to let go
Creation comes when you learn to say no

You were my lesson I had to learn
I was your fortress you had to burn
Pain is a warning that something's wrong
I pray to God that it won't be long

Walk away
There's nothing left to try
There's no place left to hide
There's no greater power than the power of good-bye

Your heart is not open so I must go
The spell has been broken I loved you so
You were my lesson I had to learn
I was your fortress

There's nothing left to lose
There's no more heart to bruise
There's no greater power than the power of good-bye

Learn to say good-bye
I yearn to say good-bye

There's nothing left to try
There's no more places to hide
There's no greater power than the power of good-bye
There's nothing left to lose
There's no more heart to bruise
There's no greater power than the power of good-bye

depends what exactly u mean,

are u talking about a realationship?

or like someone dying in the hostpital?

please clarify and i will comment :)

Get drunk before :drinkup so the love one will kick you out the door... should be easier that way!

I meant more along the lines of death, and knowing that the next time you see them would be at their funeral. But that would be hard to deal with too.

I would not rather not say goodbye, i'd rather have a memory of something good, not them in a hospital all drugged up and etc

I've thought about that too. But I had an ex who refused to go see his gramma in the nursing home because he wanted his last memories of her to be from when she was healthy and full of life. But after she was gone, he hated himself for not going to say goodbye. That would be a tough call...

My grandmother raised me and last year in October I went to see her and she didn't reconize anyone came to and always told me she would watch and to be strong. Then she went back to blank look glaze. I knew that would be last time I saw her because she would pass soon and I wanted that to remember her by. Thanksgiving she passed away.

Not an easy thing but we'll all have to do it.

Had to do it with him a few years ago after a car accident :(

http://www.peakhost.com/jon.jpg

OMG, that's awful! I can't even imagine how you got through it. You are obviously a much stronger person than I.

It's just one of those really horrible decisoins you have to make

:( dam :(

i dont even know wat to say one thing that bothers me the most is when things come to kids.

i am going for a walk. :(

OMFG that's so horrible :(

No, probably not. But its one of those things that you have no control over and no choice but to deal with, its definitely not easy.

Well, my Dad died on Election Day (today) eight years ago. That's probably the hardest thing and the most emotional thing that I've every been through -- especially because every four years its damn near a national holiday, but I generally try to focus on the election and the task at hand and help my mom through it because she takes it a lot harder than me. I tend to just try to ignore it.

Did you get a chance to say goodbye?

I hate those moments

yes, the hardest thing that I have ever experienced in my life.

thunderballs.. I am sorry for your loss, :(

No. I was away at college and my mom just came in from work and found him dead one evening. It was all very sudden. I think I would have coped much better if I could have said goodbye or <I>something</I>. So, if you have a chance to have a conversation and say goodbye to someone you love --- DO IT.

I do that on a regular basis... infact, it's rare that I've known anyone personally for more than 2 years at a time.

i was doing the same when my grandma went to a nursing station. I wanted to remember her when she was still able to recognize me and knew who she was.

i do not regret this decision.

Ummm... remind me never to get to know you...

you're right! I lost my good friend 2 weeks ago and for me he's not dead, he's just away. I remember only good things and never think about him as a dead person!

I don't usually stick around in one spot long enough for that to happen.

So don't worry about it.

haha... ok, I thought you have people dropping like flies around you or something. Was beginning to think you're cursed! :winkwink:

I have kids and that just destroyed me ....I'm really sorry to hear that .... :(

I'm beginning to see that no matter how hard it may be to say goodbye to somebody for the last time ever, it will never be as hard as not getting the chance to say anything at all.
I'm sorry you never got that chance :(

My dad passed away when I was 12 - the last time I saw him 'alive' was when they brought him up from the stairs he had fallen. With 3 cracks in his skull and after a week in a coma, 'family' judged I was too young to see him that way so I wasn't allowed to visit him before he died. I never got to say goodbye - the last time I saw him I was just yelling in fear and for standersby to get an ambulance.

My ex-father-in-law passed away a few weeks ago and if there is one man who truly took over the fatherly duties, it was him. The one sad thing was that when my son's stepmom told me he wasn't feeling well, I foretold what was going to happen - yet I didn't insist on going and see him before he passed (they wanted him to rest because they believed he would be ok) This hurt very much but on the same note, I'm happy he went quick and didn't suffer.

The only chance I got to say goodbye was 6 years ago when my uncle had cancer and was on his deathbed & I got a chance to talk to him on the phone. My family isn't very lovey-dovey in the sense that you hardly hear anyone tell the other they love them (except with the grandkids now) - yet my uncle and I had a 20 minute conversation where he promised to look out for us from wherever this journey would take him and we made it a point to tell eachother how important we were to one another. To finish that call, it was kind of like letting go a boat by releasing the rope. He told me how much he loved me & brought back intricate details of things I would never have thought my uncle would have even taken notice yet he did and we were reminiscing on some great funny family moments. I got to thank him for being there for my mom & my family when my dad passed and for always being such a giving man to everyone & most importantly, I told him I loved him and although I was sad to see him go, I knew he was tired of suffering and for this, I suffered much more. He passed on the next morning.

Quite frankly, of all the deaths, the one where I got the chance to let it go and got my moment to say goodbye, was the one that hurt less.


Thunder - I'm very sorry for your loss - I don't know if I'd be strong enough to recover if something would happen to my kids. :(

That just made me feel so sad.

Wow! It sounds like you've been through a lot! It makes me realize how fortunate I've been in my life so far.

I know it has to happen, but as I get older, I find it harder to get over for some reason. The fact that my son lived through the same emotions and reactions as I did at the same age, brought me back to when I was 11 and my grandad passed away & that sense of loss & not having said goodbye properly. He was more fortunate than me though, he had accompanied him to the hospital to prep him (grandad) for his operation the next day. He then recalled that his grandad said he loved him & had really hugged him tight. For him though, it wasn't enough as he would have wanted to say goodbye in his own way.

If you get a chance (and I know life doesn't give you the luxury of choosing much) it's very important you consciously let go of that life and say your goodbyes & share the moments you can with the person you love - it helps with the mourning process for sure!