Bush announces plans to introduce anti-pornography legislation if re-elected
 

President Unveils Double-Headed Porn Czar

In response to a recent Fox News poll suggesting Americans are more obsessed with sex than al-Qaeda, President Bush announced plans to introduce anti-pornography legislation if re-elected in November.

The plan, which includes a provision to limit adult video rentals to one per customer, is being hailed by religious leaders as a giant step backwards.

Speaking from notes at his Crawford, Texas ranch the President reassured local evangelicals that his goal was simple. "With your help," he said, "we can put sex back into the dimly lit bedrooms of frightened men and women and out of the hands of America's youth."

Flanked by his wife Laura and their twin daughters Barbara and Jenna, the President challenged all nations to "out-root the evils of masturbation," and called for all Americans to "stem the tide of Porn-Addictionness." The President seemed invigorated as his daughters repeated his pledge not to masturbate.

The girls had to be escorted from the stage by the Secret Service. Dozens of boys were injured in the melee and were taken to a nearby hospital for observation.

After the commotion, the President introduced his new porn czars: Vice President Dick Cheney and Secretary of State Colin Powell. "Dick and Colin have been preparing for this their whole lives. They're just the men to help this country stop thinking of sex as fun."

The Fox poll suggests that of the 27% of Americans who voted for the President in 2000, 82% believe masturbation leads directly to blindness. While Bush strategist Karl Rove thinks this number is actually higher, critics see the poll as part of an overall strategy to confuse voters prior to the election.

"We are quite certain that if George Bush is re-elected," said Vice Presidential candidate John Edwards, "people will need porn more than ever. But we're not worried. No politician in the last 50 years has ever won an election by telling Americans not to masturbate."

In 1952, Sen. Strom Thurmond (R- SC) told a group of African-American youths to "stop thinking about our [white] women and keep your hands out [of] your drawers."

http://www.deadbrain.com/politics/ar...10_18_3220.php

STFU! :mad:

Any comments from the hardcore republicans ....

Also, in crime scenes, they are now inventoring adult materials, because they beleive it finances terrorism...

America is DOOMED !!!!

Go for another fucking 4 years... while I laugh to the bank with your business.....

God, you're denser than a neutron star.

Braindead is a spoof news site much like the Onion.

Thanks for pointing that out and ruining what could have been a hilarious thread :321GFY

LOL, didn't know that. Was worried there for a minute. :-P

Found it through http://news.google.com

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh


good shit man, I needed that...

Whoo Hoo! I get to go to camp!

Bush Promises "Maternity Camps" for Amoral Women

Not at all..There will still be idiots who only skim the article and rush to the reply button...Just watch.

Take a look at the site you posted, partisan boring bullshit... No thanks, I like my propaganda from Michael Moore, it gives me a better laugh :thumbsup


And using scare tactics to try to make webmasters think Bush will magically destroy us upon re-election( i say re-election, because come on, everyone is being blind in here, we all know Bush will win) ..What proof do you have that the administration has done ANYTHING to hurt us in these 4 years, I'm a webmaster for a paysite, and since he's been in office I have done nothing but grow and prosper, and I know too many who are doing the same as me...BTW, didn't last summer, Bush's "evil" supreme court knock down the Child Protection Act, which actually made my job easier? LOL, no thanks, more Bush, equals more $$$ for me.... John Kerry= TAX MY ANUS TO HELL

Anyone who read this all the way through could tell it was a spoof... thats why I posted my initial STFU!

down with Bush.

Damn. That was funny. But I would not put it past him.