Friend needs advice hes married
 

So where better to go then to the experts right here at GFY. (one the there will be a show called Dr. GFY)

Here is the info

He is:

29
Decent looking
Makes ok money works at same job for years

She is
25
Shes not goodloooking (looks wise shes nasty next to him)
Doest have to work

No kids, married for year and 5 months

He loves her to death

Now she tells him on Tuesday that she wants to have time to herself and wants to go back to live at her moms house, and maybe a divorce.

real crazy talk

WTF is this about? She says shes not seeing anyone etc.

I am sending a link to my friend he will be readin it so be nice

Honestly, sounds like she is fucking around and wants to spend some time w/ the new guy to see if he is "better".

With no kids, I'd welcome the break and see what transpires. Tell him to taste life too, but not to admit it or do it anywhere where she might see :Graucho

Ya man thats a serious problem , most likely he should start dating again asap cause that cant last.

good luck with that , too bad :(

Not sure I understand how looks enter into the equation...

But, it surely sounds as if she may have too much time on her hands...

And, you're not giving enough information, really, that would allow a thoughtful opinion.....as to the root of the problem, which could be as easy or as difficult as:

Not a match made in heaven.
Infidelity on either of their parts.
Poor communication skills.
Unmet needs.
Unreasonable or unrealistic expectations.

if he wasn't married or wasn't coming out of a relationship and is not in this industry then i would say give him my number...

:Graucho

She says she's not seeing anyone else? 10 to 1 she's lying.

Look im single and have single friends male and female and for us looks do matter

Now as far as married people go once people are married i dont know

Looks like a crazy bitch :eek7

Is it out of the blue or have they been having problems? Girls get moody, and although this is not a good excuse, it is enough for some women. Maybe she feels trapped. ? I dunno. Sounds like serious trouble though. Best of luck to both of them

Ditto Raven's post.

The girl needs a job - needs to have some other purpose in life other than sitting at home waiting for her husband. Boredom brings on crazy 'I deserve more' 'I'm better than this' 'He doesn't/isn't giving me enough attention' kinda thoughts.

The possibility of her having an affair can be probable if she has nothing better to do than shop/gym & what not.

I say give her the space letting her know full well that when she decides whether to come back or not - it's never certain that he'll want her back. If she wants to leave, open the door - you can't hold her back.

he says that for like a month they argued more then ever and it was over small stuff nothing serious

Ok - well having read that I'll have to slant on this:

She's either seeing someone else - platonic or not
OR
She fell in love with someone else & even if the other guy doesn't know, she just knows that she doesn't have the same feelings for her husband anymore.

Ok...I can deal.

But, I said other things which probably have more resonance....than what I said about looks.

You're asking for advice....for a friend and that's a cool thing....but, whether you're single or married, there are factors, beyond looks, which can make or break a relationship....

More info is needed to give a thoughtful opinion....with or without the subject of one's personal appearance.

She's probably in that stage where most women are when they are in their mid 20's. They dream since they were teenagers of having this stay at home mom life and finally when they get it after a couple of years they get bored and go WTF??! This life isn't what they want and flip the fuck out and get into anti-depressants and all that other shit.

Then they go out partying with their friends as they feel they missed the party stage as she got married too soon. She sees all her friends going out and partying and wants to join them.

I have seen this happen to a few of my friends (both of them in their mid 20's married) and it fucking sucks!

I fucking guarantee in 6 months this chick will come back begging after she has partied and got it all out of her system and finds out the single party scene isn't everything it's cracked up to be ;)

Tell your friend to kick her ass to the curb and go have some fun! Why would you would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?

DH

Two letters:

O.J.

It will never last, then one of them will out of the married.
At least they dont have kids.

I agree!

he needs to find out what is wrong... if its something that can be fixed then give the break a shot and work on it. If its not something that can be fixed, then its time to hire a divorce lawyer before she takes him for all he has:2 cents:

She's not hot? What the hell does she think she deserves to not work for? I'd have made her get a job Day 1.

Some people need time apart to think things out. I think marriage isn't a game, I think that you have to work things out as a couple.
She said that she wanted time to think and maybe a divorce? I think right there you should know she's probably wanting to move on!

Only you can decide what to do, but chances are that she isn't happy with you, with the relationship, or there might be someone else she's interested in...:(

I can get out of adult really quickly :)
WG

Ditto DH's post. I'm watching this happen to a couple of friends now. If I were him, I'd get me an attorney real quick.

He's got to move on, it's obvious that she has.

:2 cents:

Exactly what I was going to say. :thumbsup

Honestly, it seems to me she's either not happy and wants her distance or she's seeing someone else already. Now if he loves her to death this is a problem. Maybe he's been showing her so much affection that its starting to annoy her. In that case, some space can be a good thing and I would say back off for a bit. If she comes back in a bit, don't be so affectionate. Now if she's seeing someone else, he needs to end it no matter how much it might hurt. In the end remember (this is to the guy) this, you've had a stable job, good income and obviously descent looks. She's the opposite. If she doesn't realize what she's throwing away, then she doesn't deserve you. Move on to someone who will appreciate you.

my 2cents for what its worth. Good luck.
WG

From having gone thru a deal exactly like what your friend is about 5 years ago. Here is my advice.

Let her leave and move on with your life. If she isnt gong to stick by you 100% of time being married then, thats her problem to figure out, not yours.

Marriage is very serious. You are placing the other person above your needs and BOTH of your continued survival depends on each other.

There will be suitations that will test you collectively as well as individually as time goes on in a marriage that are MUCH tougher than just "needing space"

Either your with me or not. 100% of the time.

Being married for 5 wonderful years to a great woman has made me realize how importatnt it is to make things work for the common good of the family unit over what I want to have for only me.

There is more than 1 fish in the ocean my man.

Jim

crazy shit, hope it all works out for your friend.

It is over. Very few people go to the lengths she is going to to get the relationship back together. She does not work so she has tons of time to "find" herself. I suspect she found soemthing and it was someone else. The good news is he sounds like this will be fine for him.



:thumbsup

Sorry to say, but i also think she has someone on the side already and is most likely lieing to your friend about not having one... its too bad .... but he should take it on a good note and realize that he is going to be single again, and he will be able to move on before he actaully made her pop out kids... Think Positive ... he can find better :winkwink:

you should date him. :winkwink:

whats wrong if he was coming out of a relationship

Murder Her it is the only answer

Drop her fast and find a good divorce lawyer. Its going to painful for him but this kind of situation never turns out good.

There's really only a bottom line to the whole scenario...

So many times people want reasons that they can say, "oh.. ok.. I understand now."

But with some things.. such as ending relationships, no reason will be acceptable...

Whether she's honestly just needing 'me time' .. or is lying and is seeing someone else.. She doesn't want to be with him.. That should be enough of an answer.. even though it never is..