The love of my life left me... what should i do?
 

I was dating the most incredible girl in the world since a year and a half... the most beautiful, intelligent and sweetest girl i ever met and now she left me and im going through the worst time in my life.

To make a long story short... when we met for the first time she had a boyfriend (longtime... 2 years), we liked so much that we started dating each other, with him in the middle. We continued a very passionate relation for 8 months when she left him and committed to me...

Since day one we were ALL day together (and i mean every day) except for a few exceptions... so, our thing was INTENSE. We had great romantic moments and fantastic trips together. We could talk about almost anything and we laugh all the time.

I gave her nice gifts all the time, from expensive watches to my own poetry & flowers. I took her to the best restaurants in town and helped her a lot when she moved to a new house (appliances, papers and stuff).

But recently we were really tired... she study from 8am to 1pm and go to work from there to 8pm. And i have a similar day (although i have my own company). So the last 2-3 weeks were hard... she was always in a bad mood and tired, sex was not as good as always and i said bad things to her when we fought.

So a week ago (after a small fight the day before when i sad bad things to her again) she told me she doesn't feel anything for me anymore and she is indiferent. She told me she doesn't want to see me or hear from me ever again. And she is the kind of girl you can believe when speaking...

Do you think she still has feelings for me but left me cause the relation was exhausting and i also hurt her feelings (she has a BIG pride)?

She's cheating on you, with another guy.

I had a similiar relationship. I was with him for three years.... everything was perfect. But I wasn't ready to get married yet, and moved out West. I pretended that I didn't love him anymore.
And now, after 5 months... I am moving back to Indiana to be with him. Maybe she's like me and needs some time to really sort out her feelings for ya. I wish you the best =)

maybe 2 guys

groupsex

Sorry, no. Wasn't enough physical time for her to do that. Besides, for the kind of girl she is and for all i was giving to her, if she choose to cheat me, she will not left me... this was all of the sudden, a month ago we came from a great trip to the mountains and a few days ago she was angry with me cause i couldnt make it 30mins earlier to have more time together... i mean, a girl that sleeps with you 5/6 out of 7 days of the week when she has her own house cant be indiferent to you, right?

8AM to 8PM she's somewhere else and odds are she met someone in class or at work.

Women 99% of the time won't up and leave a relationship until they have another to jump into.

Write it off. Don't chase her. If there is something there in her heart it will find its way back to you.

One of the hardest things in life is learning to let go and realize love isn't permenant. You get many loves in your life. Each serves a particular purpose to teach you something and help your soul to grow.

I know your hurt. It sucks when you think you have something and in reality its really not there.

Move on, there are 3 Billion other women out there to fall in love with.

Wake up to reality dude. You said she was beautiful, sweet and intelligent, and wasn't around from 8AM to 8PM. That's half the day where some other guy has an opportunity to zoom in.

Hello.

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Karma is a bitch . I hope you feel better dude.....

what did you expect?

That what she did to him she cant do to you?

Chances are shes not fucking around with somebody else
but she is well capable of doing so, so whats the difference?

Great post KRL, thanks... those are the conclusions that most of the people told me. I discard one thing though, she is not cheating me. Im sure cause she simply doesnt have the time to do it.

Besides, i REALLY believe i found my soulmate, the person who i want to be the last thing to see in the last moments of my life. How do i let her go away just like that? I can't... and i also dont believe what she is telling me...

I can believe our intense relation annoyed her... so that plus a lot of personal problems she is having, plus my mistakes when i said awful things to her, made her be really angry with me... a pride thing.

Also, i know her a lot... im sure she still has feelings for me (im not saying she is still in love, or the feelings are good, im saying they are there) but she is a girl who doesnt have problems finding guys and i also know she have the ability to hide past relations really quickly and forever if someone 'dissapear' for a long time...

... never show them how much you love them or they will fuck the milkman. the better they are, the more you treat them like shit. once they warship the ground you walk on, pimp them out.

kill her

Yeah, of course i understand that but although someone can be around, specially in the work, you know, you have to move outside those ground to do something... like dinner, movies, etc etc. And in that free time she was with me... not because i was forcing her cause im jelous or something, simple because we wanted and mostly her.

I remember when she was cheating her former bf for 8 months when she was with me... she saw him only on fridays and the relation was a joke. This time is completely different.

Thats why you dont let the bitch leave the house.

If you met the girl and dated while she had a boyfriend you can see what kind a skank she is already.

and then blow myself in a crowed mall so i can take with me as many people i can? Yeah, i thought about that in the initial moments but i declined the idea due to lack of resources.

Just get a new piece of ass and you will forget the bitches name :2 cents:

:1orglaugh

well I know how you feel... lately i been with a hottest girl i've ever been with, everything was going very nice for 5 months and I thought she's the one, then she started to work almost everyday, and looks like it's going to end because she never has time (and i know she's not cheating 100%)... I just want to tell her that if she sticks with me she won't need to work for the rest of her life and have it all, but I can't do that because I want her to like me for who I am not what I got... we'll see what happens, wish you luck man, I know it fucking sux when it happens, hard to get it off your mind.

Thanks Mandy... i need a woman advice now! What should i do now? I called her a few times this week... most of the time she sound really upset and always hung on me. Yesterday we finally could have a decent phone conversation but today i went to her house and left her a photo of us kissing in a trip... you know, to bring memories again but i called her and she was upset again...

Real simple you broke rule 1

don't date a girl who is willing to leave someone else to go to you or you will find she will leave you for someone else.

Sorry but thats the reality of life and karma :sadcrying

she cheated to be with you, and cheated while with you, now she's with her new boyfriend

Thanks man, if you are sure and feel like her is the one dont be like me and screw everything, not even for a short period like a month or weeks like i did. Spice the relation again... short trips, unexpected gifts, brake the rutine from time to time. I wish you luck there!

i know that after reading my story thats the usual conclusion but its not the case. When she cheated before she really was indiferent to the other... only saw him a day in the week, always to do the same thing, etc etc.

With me, she was 6 out of 7 days of the week in my bed at night... see the difference?

well, chasing her won't do any good, if she wants me she'll call (she does call once in a while). I ain't ganna run around like idiot, I got too much to offer, it's her lose :glugglug

Time heals all wounds...go after her now if you love her.

Move on with life without her, why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?

DH

Obviously she does not feel appreciated.
You are here sitting and writing to people you dont know on a messageboard.
Try explaining your feelings to her instead.

Thats what im doing... i dont have plans to let her go. Believe me, i have been with other girls and no one get even close to this one... and the possibility of never found someone like this again scares the shit out of me.

ALL people i spoke with told me not to 'chase' her everyday with calls, unexpected meetings, things like that. Im doing my best... i call her 1 or 2 times every 2 days with mixed results.

She'll just need time and space... my ex called me 70 times while i was at the gym one day... went completely psycho for a few months. then i promised him i would be back by my 21st bday, Aug 9th. I ended up going to Miami instead. It's only now that I realize how much I love him. I'll be back in Indiana on Oct 13th for good =)

fuck as many girls as possible...

Right, thats what im doing. Today it was a photo of us kissing in her doorstep (which she got upset about)... tomorrow a sincere letter and im making what im giving the most hopes... an oil painting of her alone, made by a good artist which i plan to send to her work. Do you think that will have any effect?

No offence at all.. but if she cheated on her last man with you.. what makes you think she would not cheat on you?? Once a cheater ... always a cheater.
Find yourself a good woman that is not married or involved hon.. You will have a much better chance of her being loyal to you.. :2 cents:

No

WOMEN ARE EVIL

Yes, true... she is capable of cheating me, i give you that. But she didn't. Try my shoes... you find the love of your life the way i did (cheating her bf), would you just forget her just because she is capable of cheating you but she never did it?

She probably just wants to know how you feel about her. How sad you feel now she is not around anymore. Money cant buy love. Did you start taking her for granted after all that time you spent together maybe?
Opening your wallet will only help if she is a bad girl. Open you heart instead. Tell her how you feel dude...Be open and honest. Show her that you are vulnerable.

Right, the painting is not about money... is about the most inmortal gift i can think about. Every girl dreams about being inmortalized in a good painting... ill paint it myself if i could but i cant. I can only draw and when i first gave her a draw of her when she was a little girl (from a photo), which i did... she went crazy with me (in the good way)

But you are true, i think i took her for granted in the last time together.

Yep...she did it before and is probably doing it again on you

karma is a bitch isnt it

Can you stop saying that? Not that it hurt me or anything... i have a very open mind and if she told me that she is dating other guy i would probably could take it better than this... which is a sudden ending to a very intense relation.

Again, she is not cheating me cause she doesnt have the time to do it... or the strenght.

I can understand that. Men generally would rather simply know where they stand, than not know whats going on for real.

Propose marriage if you feel this strongly and want to be married.
Tell her that you will continue to believe there is hope for you until she tells you otherwise, because thats how deeply you believe in your relationship. Prompt her to come to a firm conclusion about how she feels and to tell you. If she wants to cut you free from her life, it's better to know that now.

This girl just helped you along the way, there are more amazing girls out there. You are making it harder on yourself by building her up in your mind. You need to realize that she wasn't that amazing if she could just turn around and end it so easily, she obviously has issues and you dont want to be stuck dealing with those issues for the rest of your life. Be glad for the good times and that you got out unscathed. It will take a year or two but you will find another amazing girl. Good luck :2 cents:

Dude, dude, dude, this is the absolute worst thing you could have done. Have some pride, don't force her hand, it won't last. Don't panic, just let her go. She'll realize her mistake soon enough. Act like you don't give a shit. I'm dead fucking serious, it'll work.

Man, everyone tells me that and i completelly agree... if we were taking about other girls, i wont even bother to post here. But this is the love of my life... what's killing me its im 99% sure i wont find another girl like this, ever. I might find better looking ones, or more intelligent, or more loyal... but not all i want together. That's why im like this.

Besides, i know this girl... and to get her back i must cross a fine line between not dissappear and still be present somehow and NOT be a stalker or make her think she can do whatever she wants with me.

I don't agree that just because a girl cheats she will always cheat. I have only ever cheated twice and even though I felt I had very valid reasons at the time I felt terribly guilty about it afterwards.

One guy had cheated on me repeatedly (and admitted it) and once it was with a girl who was VERY underage in my own house. :mad: The guy I cheated on him with had been pursuing me actively for weeks. I had turned him down repeatedly despite being cheated on by the first guy multiple times in that period. Finally, I gave in. And yes, I felt miserable afterwards. Truth be told, I really loved the first guy. I'd lost my virginity to him. I came home from the first date with the "other guy" and immediately broke up with the first. I didn't sleep with the "other guy" by the way. It was just a relatively innocent date ending with a kiss, but it was bad enough to make me feel wretched. He cried like a baby when I told him I'd been on a date and I was breaking up with him. He tried to apologize for having cheated on me, telling me he knew how it felt now and he'd never do it again. But I just couldn't let myself believe him after he kept doing it over and over even after seeing ME cry so often.

The other guy was abusive. I had tried to leave him multiple times, but he would cry and beg me to forgive him and I have such a weak, romantic heart. I was a sucker. I fell for it every time. I was miserable, but I just couldn't stay away because he could be so sweet and kind when times were good. I was young and stupid and I kept letting it happen. Finally I had enough. His best friend, a guy I'd dated long before I met the boyfriend, came over one night when my boyfriend wasn't home and made a pass at me. I had never slept with the guy when we dated before, and I guess I was looking for a shoulder to cry on. Again, I felt absolutely horrible afterwards, so guilty I couldn't stand it. I made a committment to myself to never, ever cheat again. That if I was ever that miserable again, I would leave instead of cheating. He never found out, but I still feel so bad about how he would have felt if he did, even as much as he had hurt ME.

I was under 20 years old both times. I am now 28 and I haven't cheated on anyone in over 8 years. And I never will. I will always remember how guilty I felt and I could never, ever hurt anyone like that again.

If you really love this girl, I wouldn't give up on her. I don't think she would cheat on you for nothing. I mean, I don't know her, but from what you've told me she doesn't sound like the typical cheater, she sounds more like the type that cheats when she's hurt or desperate, but love like that isn't worth giving up on. I'd cool it for a while, call her occasionally just to talk to her and see how she's doing, but don't beg and don't pressure her, and sooner or later she might come around. If not, then at least you know you're there for her. You sound like a great guy, she'd have to be crazy to give you up with all the crazies out there these days. Finding a decent guy is literally like the proverbial needle in a haystack.

Dude, you need to get that shit out of your head right now. This thought that this is the only person to make you happy, or that she is your soulmate will only cause you to go nuts and do crazy things that will guarantee that she doesnt come back. Not to mention it will also cause you to be tied to her for many years and not allow you to move on with anyone else. There is no one person for any of us. You sound young, and I'm sure right now you do think she is the only one for you, but guess what...she isnt. People (especially soulmates) come into our life for a reason, usually to teach us something and then they leave. Figure out what it is you are meant to learn from this situation. This love has now been tainted and there is no going back to the way things were no matter how much you try. Even if she did come back you will eventually be resentful for what she did. And if not then she will eventually run again. Trust me on this. I know its painful but if you continue doing what you're doing you are only prolonging your pain. Let her go, real love is NOT having to have her.

Get over it, get a blow up doll, and move on.

Deal with the emotional pain for about 3 months while you move on. Be thankful for the time you spent with her... not sad she's gone. Easier said than done I know...but it must be that way.

Ahhh...the ways of love. We run from what chases us and we chase that which runs from us. The sooner you learn this the better off you'll be.