GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum

First of all, a disclaimer, and a warning, we have made all reasonable efforts to keep this out of reach of minors and imbeciles, but if you should do something really stupid with this device and find yourself in hospital trying to explain how you've lacerated or fried everything from the tip of your cock to your anus, we wont be held responsible, in fact, we'll most likely be floating on a yacht in the South Pacifc Ocean, laughing about your problem. So heed our warnings, and get it right, this is one of those things that was MEANT to be tried at home, kiddies.

Step 1. Go to the kitchen (or bathroom) and find yourself a rubber or latex dish washing glove, you can also use surgical gloves, sterile gloves, or as a last resort you can use a condom, but it wont work nearly as well.

Step 2. Get a nice big fluffy piece of sponge, if you cant get sponge then get a small towel, you can't beat sponge though, you want something soft and mushy. A perfect piece of sponge might come from the big fluffy shammies used for washing cars, or out of a sponge pillow, or an old matress. You want something that has a 'spring' to it when its wet, coz you're gonna soak this thing in water.

Step 3. Get a plastic cup or a plastic bottle with a diameter of about 4 inches, you want something that the rubber glove can fit over with a nice and snug water tight seal. A large soda cup from Taco Bell will do the trick. DONT USE GLASS!! unless you want to shred your nuts.

Step 4. Wrap the sponge around the glove and soak it in water so its nice and wet.

Step 5. Stuff the sponge and the glove into the plastic cup, leave enough hanging out of the cup so that it covers the lip of the cup, or you wont be able to pound it good and hard, like the dirty slut it is. Make sure you have enough sponge to go all the way into the bottom of the cup.

Step 6. Leave enough of the glove hanging out so that it can snuggly fit over the lip of the cup, like a rubber band making a seal on the soaked sponge inside the cup.

Step 7. Put the cup into the microwave for 5 seconds intervals, and test it with your fingers until you get the right temperature, you want it nice and warm.
WARNING: DO NOT PUT OIL BASED LUBRICANTS IN THE MICROWAVE! Unless you want to inflict serious burns upon your nuts. Oils almost instantly heat up to 800 degrees farenheit in a microwave oven.
DO NOT PUT METAL CONTAINERS INTO A MICROWAVE, if you dont know this already you probably shouldnt have such a dangerous thing as a penis in your house.. er... I mean microwave.
TEST IT: Make sure you test it with your fingers.

Step 8. Points for style - get yourself a travel bag with a zipper, or something fairly heavy to mount your new pussy in, you want some weight on it so you can slam it hard. Besides there's nothing better than getting busted fucking something like your suitcase, it'll be a conversation piece with the maids for years to come.

Step 9. Now get yourself some lubricant, butter, jelly, hand cream, vasoline, spit, whatever you got, squirt it into the glove, and while you're at it, smear it all over your cock, there's only one more thing to do...

Step 10. Throw your bitch down on a table, and boot up some videos... and fuck the living shit out of it... go boy go .. woohoo!!

Enjoy :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :Graucho