a couple jokes....
 

George W. Bush, John Kerry & John Edwards are discussing their manhood.
Bush says,"When I want to feel like a real man, I put on my cowboy hat and
boots and ride Laura all over the ranch 'for the Glory of Texas'." Edwards
retorts, "Elizabeth likes to put on a judges robe, and I do it for the
'Little Guy'." After a long silence, Bush and Edwards, curious about Kerry,
prods Kerry to reveal his favorite thing. "Well" says Kerry, "I put a bank
bag over Teresa's head and do it for the 'money'."

-----

Kerry was going to visit the Catholic National Cathedral outside Washington
as part of his campaign. Kerry's campaign manager made a visit to the
Cardinal and said to him, "We've been getting a lot of bad publicity among
Catholics because of Kerry's position on abortion and the like. We'd gladly
make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if during your sermon you'd
say John Kerry is a saint."

The Cardinal thinks it over for a moment and agrees to do it.

Kerry shows up, and as the Mass progresses the Cardinal begins his homily.
"John Kerry is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite and a nit-wit. He is a liar,
a cheat, and a thief. He is the worst example of a Catholic I've ever
personally known. But compared to Ted Kennedy, John Kerry is a saint."

-----

G. W. Bush and John Kerry somehow ended up at the same barbershop.
As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word
was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear
it would turn to politics.

As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Kerry in his chair
reached for the aftershave. Kerry was quick to stop him saying, "No thanks,
my wife Theresa will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse."

The second barber turned to Bush and said, "How about you?"

Bush replied, "Go ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a
whorehouse smells like."

i think i read this thread already....