Planet Of The Oops.
 

Anyone see Planet of the Apes yet?

What ya think? Im still too fuckign sick to leave the house, so I missed opening weekend.

I think all the action would make me even more dizzy than I am now so if I survive Ill see it mid week.

uhhhh forgive me for asking but is Mandy Moore or Jessica Simpson of legal age?

They sure market them as such, its got me hooked. But I really dont think they are 18 yet?

Whats with all the skin and oiled down stomach, breasts and legs? Are they 18?

I know its not illegal to put under age gals in short tight stuff, and im not here to lecture.. Im just wondering if MTV is giving boneprone impure thoughts?

Planet Of The Apes = Worst Movie Ever

Planet of the apes = average
jessican simpson is like 20 but i dont think mandy is 18 yet

I thought Planet of the Apes was ok. I can think of MUCH worse flicks. It won't win any Oscars, but it was a decent way to kill 2 hours. I'm not a huge Marky Mark fan, but he didn't annoy me as much as I thought he would.

Anyone see Jurassic Park 3? That was the first one of the series that I didn't read the book before I saw it. Hell, I'm not sure Crighton even wrote #3 LOL. The effects were cool, as usual. They keep making the Raptors smarter. By the next flick, they will be driving cars or some shit.

Marky Mark is my hero man..

anyone see boogie nights ? u see the size of his dick?

its fucking huge..

hehe L (sarcasm).

One cannot argue that Tim Burton is a master of special effects.

The original movie was scripted excellently, especially with the Rod Serling ending that found Charlton Heston in front of the statue of liberty, revealing that Heston had been on the earth the entire time.

If someone wrote a plot for this re-make, I was unable to determine this. Being from Boston, I certainly thought thought it was cute listening to Markie Mark's New England accent pleading "trust me" every five minutes and "we can beat these apes" every six minutes. After the first hour, it became as annoying as listening to a Bond Girl screaming "Help Me James" in ten minute intervals during the movie.

Planet of the Hype was a disappointment in every respect.

regards,



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Midnight
Midnight Ventures Partner Program
Excellence is not an act, but a habit - Aristotle

Im in the UK at the moment and we are slow to get things over here.
I heard there was going to be a shock ending though even better than the statue of liberty what was it?
There was also speculation that Tim Burton was going to break some "Taboos" (like these people have never surfed the net) with some monkey/ human sex scenes did this happen?

Panda

POTA was just a regular movie. Nothing new in special effects or
costumes etc. The lead (Mark Wahlberg) who played Leo Davidson
was too weak to carry a movie like that.

What did make the movie was (Tim Roth) Thade the "bad ape".
Every time that character was on the screen you were mezmorized
by this bad-ass who you would not want to have any type of
arguments with. Best supporting actor should go to Tim Roth for
his performance in POTA.

You should see the movie just to experience this evil ape on screen.

Btw, Tim Roth was the actor who played the under cover cop who
was shot in the gut in Reservoir Dogs.

Saw POTA last night and thought it was a good movie...alot more sophisticated than all the original movies....Yes I admit..the bad ass ape Thade actually made the movie...Thought it was a good enough movie to watch again..on TV or when it comes out on tape...The end of the movie was somewhat of a surprise...when you see it you won't believe it...

The movie was a good sci-fi flick....Still like the original ones though..

Stupidest ending EVER.

But overall its ok.

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I'm new so go easy on me.

you guys catch onto the symbolism of the first POTA?

No, but I sure snagged a shitload of the merchandise. When I was a runt, I had POTA action figures, lunch-box, all that shit. They paved the way for all the movie/tv show merchandise blitz that happen with almost every action film these days.

<edited - due to typos>



[This message has been edited by Steve (edited 07-30-2001).]

I really liked APES, but I'm a huge sci-fi fan so I'm biased (also I was a huge fan when I was a kid).

Anytime they turn on the hype-machine on a movie it ruins it a little - no movie is as good as they try to make it look when they're doing that.

Also, although I liked the ending to the new one ok, very few movies can compete with the original POTA - that was a fucking ending.

Thade did kick ass though!

This only matters because it may affect the way older people see Tim Burton's reimagined Planet of the Apes. It's a generational thing, admittedly, of no importance to anybody under 30, who can go see the movie with less baggage.

But in that context, this movie doesn't match up, or come close. And it pretty much squelches hopes for a great movie of this summer (with the possible exception of Shrek). Unless American Pie 2 really delivers, there just ain't going to be one.

The costuming and computerized effects in Planet of the Apes are really terrific, and the movie is at times witty, imaginative and entertaining, no small accomplishment, especially this summer. It reminds us that when it comes to ominous design and atmosphere, nobody can top Burton. Where he seems to have trouble is with storytelling.

In the original, Charlton Heston played the towering hero Col. George Taylor, the arrogant and stranded space traveler. In this re-engineering, rechristened Capt. Leo Davidson, Mark Wahlberg, takes over. As great as he was in Three Kings and Boogie Nights, historical comparison isn't kind to Wahlberg, who seems to really lack stature. He looks stunned from the minute he lands on this strange planet, and he spends much of 125 minutes mumbling platitudes to simians and humans and running from some ferocious, brilliantly-rendered and truly mean apes. (The exception is a literal human-rights activist and bleeding heart named Ari, played by Helena Bonham Carter.) This movie really needs George Clooney or a younger Harrison Ford.

You'll find all sorts of winks and nods at the earlier films, including landscape and architectural references, and an uncredited appearance by Heston himself as the ape general's father. There are also mutations of the earlier version's best known lines -- including the classic "Take your stinkin' paws off me, you damn dirty ape!" You had to love Heston at that moment in the first movie, a towering old-school Hollywood superhero insisting on his dignity in world that didn't want to give him a shred, but which, ultimately, had no choice. Capt. Davidson never gets far enough past his shock and disorientation to get mad. In keeping with this era, he's a sensitive hero, concerned but incapable of outrage.

Tim Roth playes Thade, the Simian general who truly loathes humans and exudes hate and rage with every movement and facial expression.

Thade finds people so disgusting he literally bounces off the walls and hangs off the ceiling waiting to get to them so he can tear them apart. Yet oddly, he loves Ari, the liberal human sympathizer. (In another echo of the past, she loves the spaceman, of course, and there is even an interspecies smooch that had the audience in my theater feeling volubly yucky.)

But don't look for too much intellectual exercise. The movie makes the point -- fittingly, through Heston -- that the smarter humans become, the more damage they seem to do as a species. The first movie clearly had racial and class messages to pass along (it was adapted from La Planete des Singes, a novel by Pierre Boulle, whose target was European class snobbery).

There are things to admire here. The faces and expressions of the apes are much more expressive than they were 30 years ago. They're more expressive, in fact, than Wahlberg's. The computer-rendered battle scene, becoming a staple of Hollywood action movies, is impressive.

And the opening 10 or 15 minutes are promisingly fabulistic. On a spaceship that sends trained monkeys out in pods rather than risking humans, Capt Davidson's favorite, Pericles, gets lost in a nebula. It's a neat sequence, with Davidson defying orders to set out after him. Strange space storms wreck his navigation systems, though, and he crash lands on the nearest planet. Leo barely hits the ground, though, before vicious ape soldiers out to capture and sell humans into slavery are after him and his kind. We are clearly meant to see none-too-subtle slave-trade analogies here (plus echoes of animal-rights arguments). But even movies about apes ought to evolve -- does anybody in 2001 really need convincing of slavery's evil?

Nevertheless, to make the point, the movie's humans get treated with utter contempt and brutality, bought and sold and doomed to menial labor, caged at night. In one manipulative but effective sequence, a small child, adopted as a pet by an ape girl, gets locked in a birdcage at night. In what is perhaps a reference to slavery and the Old South, ape society seems to be becoming more narcissistic and decadent, its cruelty to humans undermining its own sense of moral value and purpose.

Dahlberg, who seems ill at ease in this movie and is flat throughout, simply wants to get home. Hardly any other motive or thought occurs to him until very near the ending. Ari, protesting brutality against humans, helps Leo escape to rouse the battered, hopeless remnants of the human race.

I don't want to give anything further away, except to say that either Burton or 20th Century Fox went for still another memorable ending to this Planet of the Apes. I suppose you have to admire their guts, and this one is also a jaw-dropper, but alas, mostly because it's so dumb.

Let's be clear: Planet of the Apes is more than good enough to go see, but you will have forgotten every scene by Labor Day. In 30 years, you'll be eagerly awaiting the remake of something else -- hopefully. Maybe it will be less of a disappointment for you than this one was for me.



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wiZd0m

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Great review Wizdom.. Here's another one

Filthy's POTA Review

This guy is one of the best movie critics there is, bar none, as far as I am concerned. His opinion of POTA is pretty much what I expected POTA to be once I saw the trailers - it's utter shit.

Check it out, it's a hilarious read.

Cheers,
Backov

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No one has mentioned this, but does anyone know that Charlton Heston made an appearance in this movie. Not many people know this but he is in the movie. Kudos if you can find him.

I saw it and thought it was entertaining. Tim Roth is a cool guy.... Just made cooler by Sameul Jackson telling him to get his wallet in Pulp Fiction. He was pretty bad ass. The ending was a shocker, and I agree that Marky Mark does not have the presence to play that type of lead role. But he is still young.

PS the Heston roll is not in the credits so you will have to search for him.

Sorry Wiz sorry that you had caught this cameo.

[This message has been edited by Eric_aka_RedEyes (edited 07-30-2001).]