GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum

yeah you're fruit. If you are still confused i'll give you the queer test and you decide. This is for everyone actually, here we go:

1. If you are over 30 and you have a washboard
stomach, you're gay. It means you haven't sucked back
enough beer with the boys and rather you've been
sucking-off the boys and have spent the rest of your
free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah
diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaayming Fag. A cat
is like a dog, but Gay: it grooms itself constantly
but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch
except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed.
And just think about how you call a dog..."Killer,
come here! I said get your ass over here!" Now think
about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy,
snookums!" Jeeezus, you're the poster boy for GAY.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby-dummies,
boiled lollies or any such nonsense, rest assured, you
are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks stubbies,
shots, bar-b-q ribs, crab-claws, raw oysters,
cray-fish guts, pickled eggs, or titties. Anything
else and you are in training to suck El-Dicko and
undeniably a Fag.

4. If you refuse to have a shit in a public toilet or
piss in a parking lot, you're in a deep homosexual
relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he
defecates and urinates where he pleases. A real man
will shoot, shit, sleep where ever he likes

5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like
a high hard one in the poop-chute. Coffee has to be
had strong, black (or with thick, wholesome milk) and
full-aroma. A pussy-eating man will never be heard
ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim or with a twist
of lemon" and he will never, ever know what artificial
sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet in
your mouth, you've had a dick in there too.

6. If you know more than six names of colours or four
different types of dessert, you might as well be
handing out a free pass to your arse. A real man
doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all
of that crap as well as all the names of all the
players in the NFL, NBA, NHL and Nascar. If you can
pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fresier" is,
you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile
other than denim, you are faggadocious!

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget
it... you're hungry for man sausage. A man only puts
both hands on the wheel to honk at slow-arse drivers
or to cut the motherfucker off. The rest of the time
he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat
his hamburger, hold his beer, finger the bitch in the
passenger seat (whoever she happens to be), or talk on
his mobile phone.

8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films,
mon-frere, vous sonnez le Gay, oui? The only time it
is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman
who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the
above films by yourself or with another man is likely
to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion),
which is what happens to fags when they flame out too
quickly. So follow the rules and beware. Or keep that
shit to yourself, you flamming faggot!

9. If your name is Steven, Neil, Dallas, Gavin, Frank,
Brett, Bruce, Craig, John, Andrew, Robert,
Laurie/Larry/Lawrence, Aaron, James, Howie, Phil, Ray,
Miser, Damian,Terry, Matthew or Luke, then stop living
in denial. You're a dung punching arse bandit from way
back and everyone knows it.

So there you have it.

Glad i could be of service