GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum - A Message from Michael Moore

Okay, it's a month old, but it just arrived in my inbox. Maybe you haven't all seen it yet. :)

9/20/04

Dear Friends,

Enough of the handwringing! Enough of the doomsaying!
Do I have to come there and personally calm you down?
Stop with all the defeatism, OK? Bush IS a goner -- IF
we all just quit our whining and bellyaching and stop
shaking like a bunch of nervous ninnies. Geez, this is
embarrassing! The Republicans are laughing at us. Do
you ever see them cry, "Oh, it's all over! We are
finished! Bush can't win! Waaaaaa!"

Hell no. It's never over for them until the last
ballot is shredded. They are never finished -- they
just keeping moving forward like sharks that never
sleep, always pushing, pulling, kicking, blocking,
lying.

They are relentless and that is why we secretly admire
them -- they just simply never, ever give up. Only 30%
of the country calls itself "Republican," yet the
Republicans own it all -- the White House, both houses
of Congress, the Supreme Court and the majority of the
governorships. How do you think they've been able to
pull that off considering they are a minority? It's
because they eat you and me and every other liberal
for breakfast and then spend the rest of the day
wreaking havoc on the planet.

Look at us -- what a bunch of crybabies. Bush gets a
bounce after his convention and you would have thought
the Germans had run through Poland again. The Bushies
are coming, the Bushies are coming! Yes, they caught
Kerry asleep on the Swift Boat thing. Yes, they found
the frequency in Dan Rather and ran with it. Suddenly
it's like, "THE END IS NEAR! THE SKY IS FALLING!"

No, it is not. If I hear one more person tell me how
lousy a candidate Kerry is and how he can't win...
Dammit, of COURSE he's a lousy candidate -- he's a
Democrat, for heavens sake! That party is so pathetic,
they even lose the elections they win! What were you
expecting, Bruce Springsteen heading up the ticket?
Bruce would make a helluva president, but guys like
him don't run -- and neither do you or I. People like
Kerry run.

Yes, OF COURSE any of us would have run a better,
smarter, kick-ass campaign. Of course we would have
smacked each and every one of those phony swifty boaty
bastards down. But WE are not running for president --
Kerry is. So quit complaining and work with what we
have. Oprah just gave 300 women a... Pontiac! Did you
see any of them frowning and moaning and screaming,
"Oh God, NOT a friggin' Pontiac!" Of course not, they
were happy. The Pontiacs all had four wheels, an
engine and a gas pedal. You want more than that, well,
I can't help you. I had a Pontiac once and it lasted a
good year. And it was a VERY good year.

My friends, it is time for a reality check.

1. The polls are wrong. They are all over the map like
diarrhea. On Friday, one poll had Bush 13 points ahead
-- and another poll had them both tied. There are
three reasons why the polls are b.s.: One, they are
polling "likely voters." "Likely" means those who have
consistently voted in the past few elections. So that
cuts out young people who are voting for the first
time and a ton of non-voters who are definitely going
to vote in THIS election. Second, they are not polling
people who use their cell phone as their primary
phone. Again, that means they are not talking to young
people. Finally, most of the polls are weighted with
too many Republicans, as pollster John Zogby revealed
last week. You are being snookered if you believe any
of these polls.

2. Kerry has brought in the Clinton A-team. Instead of
shunning Clinton (as Gore did), Kerry has decided to
not make that mistake.

3. Traveling around the country, as I've been doing, I
gotta tell ya, there is a hell of a lot of unrest out
there. Much of it is not being captured by the
mainstream press. But it is simmering and it is real.
Do not let those well-produced Bush rallies of angry
white people scare you. Turn off the TV! (Except Jon
Stewart and Bill Moyers -- everything else is just a
sugar-coated lie).

4. Conventional wisdom says if the election is decided
on "9/11" (the fear of terrorism), Bush wins. But if
it is decided on the job we are doing in Iraq, then
Bush loses. And folks, that "job," you might have
noticed, has descended into the third level of a hell
we used to call Vietnam. There is no way out. It is a
full-blown mess of a quagmire and the body bags will
sadly only mount higher. Regardless of what Kerry
meant by his original war vote, he ain't the one who
sent those kids to their deaths -- and Mr. and Mrs.
Middle America knows it. Had Bush bothered to show up
when he was in the "service" he might have somewhat of
a clue as to how to recognize an immoral war that
cannot be "won." All he has delivered to Iraq was that
plasticized turkey last Thanksgiving. It is this
failure of monumental proportions that is going to
cook his goose come this November.

So, do not despair. All is not over. Far from it. The
Bush people need you to believe that it is over. They
need you to slump back into your easy chair and feel
that sick pain in your gut as you contemplate another
four years of George W. Bush. They need you to wish we
had a candidate who didn't windsurf and who was just
as smart as we were when WE knew Bush was lying about
WMD and Saddam planning 9/11. It's like Karl Rove is
hypnotizing you -- "Kerry voted for the war...Kerry
voted for the war...Kerrrrrryyy vooootted fooooor
theeee warrrrrrrrrr..."

Yes...Yes...Yesssss....He did! HE DID! No sense in
fighting now...what I need is
sleep...sleeep...sleeeeeeppppp...

WAKE UP! The majority are with us! More than half of
all Americans are pro-choice, want stronger
environmental laws, are appalled that assault weapons
are back on the street -- and 54% now believe the war
is wrong. YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO CONVINCE THEM OF ANY
OF THIS -- YOU JUST HAVE TO GIVE THEM A RAY OF HOPE
AND A RIDE TO THE POLLS. CAN YOU DO THAT? WILL YOU DO
THAT?

Just for me, please? Buck up. The country is almost
back in our hands. Not another negative word until
Nov. 3rd! Then you can bitch all you want about how
you wish Kerry was still that long-haired kid who once
had the courage to stand up for something. Personally,
I think that kid is still inside him. Instead of the
wailing and gnashing of your teeth, why not hold out a
hand to him and help the inner soldier/protester come
out and defeat the forces of evil we now so
desperately face. Do we have any other choice?

Yours,

Michael Moore