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Stuff Ive learned from porn...
1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent. 3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory. 4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her. 5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm. 6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men. 7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob. 8. Women always orgasm when men do. 9. A blowjob will always get a women off a speeding ticket. 10. All women are noisy fucks. 11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background. 12. Those tits are real. 13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt. 14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum. 15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other.(and the girl isn't disgusted!) 16. Double penetration makes women smile. 17. Asian men don't exist. 18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth. 19. There's a plot. 20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt. 21. Nurses suck patients cocks. 22. Men always pull out. 23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you. 24. Women never have headaches... or periods. 25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it". 26. Assholes are clean. 27. A man ejaculating on a womans butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned. 28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there. 29. Men don't have to beg. 30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman. ------------------ Machine Webmastercommerce.com Jerkoffhere.com |
That's one of the best laughs i've had from a forum!
Nice! http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/smile.gif |
I got a laugh out of it, so Id thought Id share it with you guys.
------------------ Machine Webmastercommerce.com Jerkoffhere.com |
I dont get it.. My wife falls into about 70% of the items listed..
Guess she is just well trained. Thank god for pornos. If any of you guys dont fall into this bracket with yo women, send your bitches to boneprone's school of bitches and hoes creations. Ill train em for ya. |
Dont listen to him! I sent mine and after shelling out hundreds of dollars, she came back with crabs, a poop fetish, and was sporting a strap-on!! I want my money back!
------------------ Machine Webmastercommerce.com Jerkoffhere.com |
That was pretty funny.....My wife would slap me in the head for every smile cracked after reading that...ssssshhhh
Shit after reading that I should be the one slapping her....and I don't mean with my hands. http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/tongue.gif ------------------ XXXPORNCASH 100% Initial and Recurring Credit Card Revenue [email protected] 1-888-737-7121 x629 |
Do it man! Penis shaped bruises are a big hit at parties.
------------------ Machine Webmastercommerce.com Jerkoffhere.com |
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1) just curiuous about those 30% left 2) where did you find her ? |
Oh that was too funny.
I did learn how to spell amateur correctly - only after selling porn. I especially liked #18. I never really understood why pornos had plots. I used to work at a TV/VCR repair place and we had an old guy that would always get his equipment fixed there. He became friendly with our chief VCR tech and when he died he left him 7 trash bags full of porn videos. Well his wife was not happy about this, so I got some as well as everyone else that worked there. That is the only thing I have ever gotten from a will - indirectly. Anyway, I never really understood why they bothered - I would always have to fast forward to the good parts. I think I should start a company named "plotless porn". No music, no plots, just fucking and sucking. |
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I've been wanting my money back for a long time. He knows what I'm talking about. ------------------ ...:::End Of Line:::... ------------------ * uSexFan.com * ICQ : 114683191 |
My wife:
Shes a naughty one. You think Im kiding? Im not. [This message has been edited by boneprone (edited 07-19-2001).] |
u think boneprone would marry an ugly prude? I think not..
[This message has been edited by boneprone (edited 07-19-2001).] |
Does she know about that?
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uhh I better fix this statement.. I just now remembered she reads this board from time to time!
[This message has been edited by boneprone (edited 07-19-2001).] |
Yeah but who is she getting it from? Dank?
Better yet, have her gargle my name. http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/smile.gif I wonder what that would sound like? grgwedgoo I'll hit her up soon on ICQ, once I have enough traffic to trade. Oh, and tell her I said Hello. http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/smile.gif |
That was funny!...
Imagine what you would do when you had sex for the first time if you grew up watching porn (from age 18 of course)? |
I better change the subject before she comes here and reads this and kicks my ass.. That is no lie, she will kick my ass!
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So then should I change my posts as well?
What's it worth to you? Some traffic maybe? |
http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/biggrin.gif
(no need to 'say' more) ---- Tha Timinator www.sxonic.net - premium hosting "We're the best so fuck the rest!" |
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------------------ Your tattooed messiah [This message has been edited by Flash (edited 07-20-2001).] |
I think there should be a radio station that played porn background music all day everyday...it is sooooooooooo perverted.
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------------------ Thanks ;) Tracy Fantasy Content http://www.fantasycontent.com |
This is for sure one of the funniest posts. Should be a prize for this
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------------------ Machine Webmastercommerce.com Jerkoffhere.com |
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