Girls, its OUR turn. The "Point System" for men.
 

For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women.

Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works.
Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies:
Make the woman happy.

Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that's the way the game is played. :winkwink:



Here is a guide to the points system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed .................................................. .......+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows................ 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...............................-1
You leave the toilet seat up..............................................-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty........................ 0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...............-1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom.......................-2
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.................+5
in the snow.............................................. .................+8
but return with beer.............................................. ........-5
and no liners............................................ ................-25
You check out a suspicious noise at night................................. 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing........................ 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something......................+5
You pummel it with a six iron............................................+1 0
It's her cat............................................... ..............-40

AT THE PARTY

You stay by her side the entire party..................................... 0
You stay by her side for a while,
then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy..........................-2
Named Tiffany........................................... ..................-4
Tiffany is a dancer............................................ ..........-10
With breast implants.......................................... ...........-18

HER BIRTHDAY

You remember her birthday.......................................... ........0
You buy a card and flowers........................................... ......0
You take her out to dinner............................................ .... 0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar......................+1
Okay, it is a sports bar............................................... ...-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night............................................-3
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your
face is painted the colors of your favorite team.........................-10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

Go with a pal............................................... ...............0
The pal is happily married........................................... .....+1
The pal is single............................................ .............-7
He drives a Ferrari........................................... ...........-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED).............................-15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER

You take her to a movie............................................. ......+2
You take her to a movie she likes.........................................+4
You take her to a movie you hate..........................................+6
You take her to a movie you like.........................................-2
It's called Death Cop 3................................................. .-3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans...................................-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans...................-15

YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable pot belly......................................-15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it..........+10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts............................................ .............-30
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."........................-800

THE BIG QUESTION

She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"

You hesitate in responding........................................ ......-10
You reply, "Where?".......................................... ...........-35
You reply, "No, I think it's your ass".................................-100
Any other response.......................................... ............-20



Sorry, guys. In light of the "rules" that Jman posted
earlier, I felt the girls needed to have a little fun. :thumbsup

Loved that movie...

And now you know where our "headaches" come from. From remembering all those damned points :winkwink:

blah blah blah get on your fucking knees bitch. You know that's what you were made for.





















joke....

-150 :Graucho

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Sorry, I find that REALLY funny.

Guess thats what working in adult does to a girl. :thumbsup

Here is my scale for women:

DURING SEX

After sex I have to talk to you: -10
After sex you leave: +100
During sex you do whatever I want: 0
You swallow: +1
Bitch about anything: -1000 (game over)

AT THE PARTY

I have to stay at your side: -20 (walk home bitch)
You shut up and sit on the couch: +1
And afterwards you do everthing with positive in the sex section: +10
You talk to any other male but me and relatives: -20(walk home)

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER:

To Hooters: +1
To a restaraunt you like: 0 (as long as you order the cheapest thing on the menu)


Thats all for now. Tired of typing. :thumbsup :glugglug

That is fucking classic:1orglaugh

thought of some more:

THE BIG QUESTION

When will we get engaged: -10
When will we get married: -100 (pack your shit)
Do I look fat in this: 0 (but yes you do look fat for asking a stupid fucking question with one answer)






p.s. Your list is funny Chandiegirl but mine is more realistic. :winkwink:

Yours is MUCH funnier because you are
making it up as you go.

Life inside a man's head. :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Btw, for the record, I think half the stuff on
the top list is complete crap. It just seemed
appropriate in light of the other thread. :winkwink:

yeah it gets more interesting....

ON SPORTS

You hate sports: -50 (get out and walk)
You pretend to like sports: 0
You know and understand sports: +100
AND you're an LSU fan: +1000 (marry me)
You're an USC, OU or Ole Miss fan: -10,000 (get out before I find my gun. If you're an Auburn fan add an additional 0)

:1orglaugh

was only meant to be humourous. No evil intentions at all :)



but still... get in the fucking kitchen, girls don't belong on the internet!

So I've heard.

Too bad I can't cook. :helpme

Do you want a boyfriend or a fucking chump?

single I assume? HAHA.

My gf claims to be able to cook. She does wicked pot roasts n shit liek that, but when it comes to rice n stir fry.. ehm. I go do yard work.

Neither, thank you very much. :thumbsup

the Tiffany part was good.:thumbsup

It's lists like this that makes hookers so attractive.

Women do not like what men like, men do not like what women like.

Live with it or turn gay. :321GFY

:1orglaugh

Really men are from Mars and women are from Venus.

heh, if I took my gf to a movie and thats called Death Cop 3 and I told her is was really a foreign film about orphans she wouldnt believe me.

THE BIG QUESTION

She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"

You hesitate in responding........................................ ......-10
You reply, "Where?".......................................... ...........-35
You reply, "No, I think it's your ass".................................-100
Any other response.......................................... ............-20


Ok I am guilty of this often...
maybe that's why I am still single?


Oh I remember why I am still single-
BECAUSE CHICKS ARE A PAIN IN THE ASS-

But I still try to love them anyway.

What if you go out with a girl for five years and only buy flowers once when you lost all your guys money gambling?

Bad?

mute women are sexy

:1orglaugh

Chandie, you crack me up mama!

I love the responses!

HER BIRTHDAY

It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your
face is painted the colors of your favorite team.........................-10

---
ROFLOL :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh
Thanks Chandie, Just spit all my coffee next to my computer

This is a just an ass kiss list not a real list. You suck ya high maintainance whore.

get a life

hahah how true this is.

Ahahahh! Too funny.

Hi Nick B.~
Funny, right? :1orglaugh
Glad you share my giggle, hottie.


Danielle,
Great responses, huh?
But its interesting... "high maintenance whore"
when we laugh (ITS A JOKE, GUYS! LOL)
at something like this, but the guys "rules"
get high fives all around.

Let's laugh equally at each other, boys. Geez! :321GFY

Pfff newbie! :feels-hot never been to a show ey? wait till you meet this fine woman, you'll take back those words

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh That's a funny list. And beergood made some nice ones as well :glugglug

It was good!:thumbsup :thumbsup :thumbsup

U, guys, will be so fucking bored without us even on the NEt!

Yeah yeah....

My rules are better

:winkwink: the posts are to funny

What Women Want - a Dennis Miller Rant


Does size really matter? I don't know, what do women want? Nowadays it seems like they want....other women. No, uhh....some women want zero from a man, and others want lots of zeros from a man.

Let's see, the myth is that women want... Brad Pitt in the bedroom, Brad Pitt in the kitchen, Brad Pitt around the house, Brad Pitt during a game, Brad Pitt when they're sick, Brad Pitt in conversation, the body of Brad Pitt in 'Legends of the Fall' combined with the voice of Brad Pitt, and to top it all off the IQ of Fabio on two bottles of Nyquil.

Another myth is that a woman must be married by a certain age or she'll never find stability. Hey, I've got news for you, ladies: looking to men for stability is like going to Crispin Glover for psychoanalysis, all right?

And yet a third myth is that men think that women like guys who are dangerous. As a result, guys will often smoke cigarettes, drink too much, and ride a motorcycle without a helmet. Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.

Now I'll be the first to admit that men's advice on women is about as reliable as an M-16 in the mud, but this is what I kinda sorta, maybe think women want from men:

1. Foreplay is not a privlege.. it's a birthright.

2. If you take her out to a fancy restaurant don't try to subtlely steer her away from the lobster dinin', Jim.

3. Quit blowing smoke up women's asses about the sanctity and power they possess as lifegivers and come up with some decent, affordable child care and that way maybe poor single mothers can go to work, get off welfare and that we don't have to listen to anymore assholes in Congress blathering about orphanages.

4. Equal work for equal pay. Look around you at work guys. Look around you.. at let's say.. Carl, the brain dead, jack-off in the cubicle next to you. You could kill Carl, couldn't you? Because he's a slacking, worthless, toadie idiot. Now imagine making 30% less than Carl. Hello?

5. O.K., this is very important.. during lovemaking don't ask, "Who's your daddy?" Even if it's a joke... it's not funny. All right?

6. When her mouth moves.. pay attention words could be coming out. Words are kind of important.

7. Pass a law that makes it compulsory for all over-the-hill rock stars to have women their own age in their videos, O.K.?

8. Don't ask her if she came. You're a big boy now Clouseau.. you should know if she came.

9. Don't tell her how to merge and she won't tell you to ask for directions.

10. When she catches you cheating on her, and cuts off your dick in your sleep.. Take it like a man.

"If that's too much to ask.. how 'bout a big fucking diamond the size of your head."

"Of course that's just my opinion.. I could be sleeping on the couch."

Rolf, there is so many true things !