| SpaceAce |
09-02-2004 04:24 AM |
SpaceAce is aging rapidly (some serious content)
Yesterday (September 1st) was my 27th birthday. Folks, I am on my way to 30. To some of you that may not seem old and frankly, when we're talking about other people, it doesn't sound old to me, either. There's a big difference between someone else being 55 and me being 30, though.
Birthdays are a time for celebration because, hey, you're not dead but birthdays also make you reflect on life. I lost my father a couple of weeks ago to a combination of things. He went into cardiac arrest while receiving dialysis treatment related to chemotherapy he was going through to treat the cancer he was suffering from. I couldn't make it to Florida to be with him or to make final arrangements and giving permission over the phone for the hospital to stop dialysis, stop respiration and stop giving him the medication that helped his heart beat was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. No matter what you think your father's last wishes would have been, taking action that you know will lead to his death feels like murder. A couple of months before that, his only other living relative (besides myself and my sister), his brother Mark, passed away under similar circumstances. They were Irish orphans brought to this country together and the only people they had were each other. Due partly to their personal problems and partly to an animosity between my father and his brother's wife, they didn't get to see each other before they died. My sister was also estranged from my father for the last several years and although she knew he was ill and knew she could be running out of time, she never spoke to him to fix what was wrong between them and now she never can. It's a cliche but it's the truth: life is short. Don't piss away time with petty grievances and selfish stubborness. No busy schedules, no arguments, no excuses. Make sure the people you care about know how you feel because one day you're going to say something to them and it will be the last thing they ever hear from you. We are all mortal but we live in a constant state of denial. If any of really believed we would die, we would never get into a car or onto an airplane. You will die, though, and so will the people you care about. Time is precious and at the last second of the last minute of your last hour, are you going to look back and wish that you'd spent one more day on the golf course or will you wish you had taken one less round of links to spend some time with your children or your brothers or your wife? I bet there is someone in your life you've been meaning to call or visit or someone you need to patch things up with. Go do it while you still can.
A lot of you are familiar with the drama that started in my life a few months back and turning another year older made me think of the people who had so many nice things to say and offered so much support to me. I want to say thanks again to the people who took time out of their lives to chat with a stranger. Between the relationship drama and losing the only two people in this world who tied me to my father's side of the family, it's been a rough year but thanks to some of the people from GFY it was a little less rough than it could have been.
Now, while you are not required to buy me a birthday gift, I wouldn't say no to some Fawlty Towers or Blackadder DVDs :thumbsup . I can't find the damn things anywhere in the USA :) No Stevie Wonder CDs, please, someone already gave me one.
SpaceAce
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