Quit Your Bitching I Invented The Penis Stretcher
 

OK, just to put all of your bitching and moaning to rest about who was first - it's a little known fact, but I invented the penis stretcher. I wrote the schematics down on a napkin at dinner 2 years ago. Then I went to a peep show, pulled out some quarters so I could jerk off and the napkin came out of my pocket and fell onto the floor into a pile of cum. So :321GFY to the rich bastard who decided to pick up my napkin, I hope you got my spooge on your fingers.