Republican National Committee Convention Schedule
 

I was able to get an advanced copy from my sources in NYC. Please keep on the down-low.


REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE
New York, NY


6:00 p.m. - Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell

6:30 p.m. - Pledge of Allegiance

6:35 p.m. - Ceremonial Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd Amendment)

6:45 p.m. - Salute to the "Coalition of the Willing"

6:46 p.m. - Seminar #1: Katherine Harris on "Are Elections Really Necessary?"

7:30 p.m. - Announcement: Lincoln Memorial Renamed for Ronald Reagan

7:35 p.m. - Trent Lott - "Re-segregation in the 21st Century"

7:40 p.m. - EPA Address #1: "Mercury: It's What's for Dinner"

8:00 p.m. - Vote on which country to invade next

8:10 p.m. - Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh

8:15 p.m. - John Ashhahahahaha Lecture: "The Homos Are After Your Children"

8:30 p.m. - Round table discussion on reproductive rights (Men Only)

8:50 p.m. - Seminar #2: "Corporations: The Government of the Future"

9:00 p.m. - Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"

9:05 p.m. - Phyllis Schlafly speaks on "Why Women Shouldn't Be Leaders"

9:10 p.m. - EPA Address #2: "Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires"

9:30 p.m. - Break for secret meetings

10:00 p.m. - Second Prayer led by Cal Thomas

10:15 p.m. - Carl Rove Lecture: "Doublespeak Made Simple"

10:30 p.m. - Rumsfeld Lecture/Demonstration: "How to Squint and Talk Macho Even When You Feel Squishy Inside"

10:35 p.m. - Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare

10:40 p.m. - John Ashhahahahaha Demonstration: New Mandatory Kevlar Chastity Belt

10:45 p.m. - GOP's Tribute to Tokenism, featuring Colin Powell & Condi Rice

10:46 p.m. - Ann Coulter's Tribute to "Joe McCarthy, American Patriot"

10:50 p.m. - Seminar #3: "Education: A Drain on Our Nation's Economy"

11:10 p.m. - Hilary Clinton Piñata

11:20 p.m. - John Ashhahahahaha Lecture: "Evolutionists: A Dangerous New Cult"

11:30 p.m. - Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again

11:35 p.m. - Blame Clinton

11:40 p.m. - Newt Gingrich speaks on "The Sanctity of Marriage"

11:41 p.m. - Announcement: Ronald Reagan to be added to Mt. Rushmore

11:50 p.m. - Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself

Midnight - Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord



P.S. Fuck Bush

ROFL...

:1orglaugh


thx LauraLee.... I needed that laugh this AM

hugs...

BIG B

LOL, how true is that!
That was good.

WG

right back atcha huggie bear!

We've been laughing all day at this mock schedule here at the office. BTW, there will actually be A LOT of praying going on at that convention.:winkwink:

Of course, God speaks through Bush :)
WG

Exactly.....what a moron he is.

I know that God would want us all to vote for Bush. He's our saviour. LOL, who actually believes the shit that comes out of Bush's mouth these days?

WG

A lot of people do, that's the problem

This is so accurate ... :1orglaugh and scary!

Lol, nice so true. How is the TCG crew today. Charles what up!!!!

Yeah, exactly. The same getting led to slaughter sheep that believe those Swift Boat ads.
If people actually had to demonstrate an ability to have brain function before they voted, half of Bush's constituency would be eliminated.

That kicks as Laura lee :thumbsup