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-   -   I've discovered the remedy for preventing Teen Pregnancy!! (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=33995)

CDSmith 05-26-2001 03:03 PM

I've discovered the remedy for preventing Teen Pregnancy!!
 
As we all know, the teen pregnancy rate in the world is out of control.
After searching for years, I've finally found the ultimate solution to this horrific and widespread blight on society....

<a href="http://members.home.net/cdsmodels/psafuture.asf"><font face="Book Antiqua" size=+1 color="#FFFFCC">CLICK HERE FOR SOLUTION TO TEEN PREGNANCY</font></a>

I can't think of any cause I'd rather support more http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/biggrin.gif http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/biggrin.gif http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/biggrin.gif
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titmowse 05-26-2001 03:10 PM

pretty funny mr. smith. only problem is it's a myth. there have been many cases where a gal has gotten pregnant this way. the way my nurse friend explained it to me is the anal walls are very thin and reside next to the uterus...n stuff. ALWAYS USE A CONDOM KIDDIES!



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CDSmith 05-26-2001 03:46 PM

Actually, this little snippet was sent to me by my source of dirty net-humor, his name is Bob the cable guy.

I thought this board needed a little "back-door humor" http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/biggrin.gif
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Slick 05-26-2001 03:55 PM

Ha ha ha CD, that's a pretty good one.

SNOW 05-26-2001 04:09 PM

CD that KICKED ASS LOLLLL http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/smile.gif http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/smile.gif http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/smile.gif

Enchantress 05-26-2001 06:46 PM

Wow - didn't see that coming.

That was pretty funny.


Enchantress

Techie Media 05-26-2001 06:55 PM

CD you never cease to amaze me bro.....hahahah That cracked me and the mrs up....Very funny http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/smile.gif

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UnseenWorld 05-27-2001 01:13 AM

I find it extremely unlikely that sperm go through the flesh between the rectum and vagina. I think it much more likely that sperm spills out into the crotch after anal sex and makes its way into the vagina. Still and argument for using a condom.

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CDSmith 05-27-2001 02:27 AM

heh heh heh ---

It makes you wonder, if what tit said is true, then....what else can "make it's way through" that thin area of flesh? EEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

Actually, I've worked with a few thousand different types of nurses over the years, and I find that many of them are no more knowledgeable about certain physical phacts than anyone else. I've seen nurses that were smoking while pregnant, I've heard nurses say that taking natural source vitamin supplements or vitamins of any kind is "stupid", and I've heard nurses say and do many many other dumbass and ridiculous things as well. They buy into myths and stories just as easily as the next person. Hell, one nurse recently argued like sin with me because she insisted that coffee is a laxative!! She referred me to websites that contain literature to back that up, so I called her on it. I went and read the reports, and yes, coffee and caffeine can indeed be a laxative.....in less than 1% of the fucking population that is. I think that percentage would hold true for just about anything edible.

Bottom line -- Nurses can and frequently are wrong about common everyday things, like vitamins, or -- anal sex http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/biggrin.gif
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titmowse 05-27-2001 02:49 AM

actually, the more i think about what my roommate said ten years ago, the more i think about what unseenworld said about the trickle down theory. i've been searching through the net and there are buttloads (insert pun here) of info about semen trickling down to the vagina after anal intercourse and resulting in unexpected pregnancies. i guess what she really was saying is that the anus was really close to the vagina. regardless, the 'baby, you won't get pregnant' argument still stands. i won't even go into that whole suck the guy off after he's had his dick in your ass bullshit. how stoopid is that?

it was a funny post. sorry i had to get on my little, tiny soapbox during it.

tit

ps: apologize to nurses right now or i won't call you mr. smith any more!

[This message has been edited by titmowse (edited 05-27-2001).]

Susan 05-27-2001 08:15 AM

Double LOL consider it well distributed

Slick 05-27-2001 08:22 AM

You just have to make sure that you pump it far enough in their ass, he he he.

Actually, that is a good question, I guess that there's always the chance that it could trickle down into there, but I'm sure that the chances of it coming out and trickling down and it starting from the outside of the pussy, not being inserted in, it probably is rare, BUT I guess if your sperm have a strong enough will, they could possibly make it, but I wouldn't bet on it, he he he.

CDSmith 05-27-2001 09:07 AM

I wonder if the "poopy sperm" would have any effect on the outcome of the resulting offspring, heh heh. Okay, things are getting out of hand http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/biggrin.gif (I miss the schoolyard stupidity of days gone by I suppose)

tit --

Apologize for nurse's stupidity? Yaaaa. Actually, I've known many many very smart, very intellectual nurses that are highly skilled in their field of expertise. I've not only had the pleasure of working with many such nurses (both male and female) but I've had the occassion to have personal relationships with a few (females only, just friends with the guys)
If anyone was wondering if that CD guy was gay, thar's your answer http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/biggrin.gif

Tit, I was referring to the few that are so dumb in their thinking that it gives me pause to wonder how they ever made it through nursing school. The point I was trying to make was that nurses, as a whole group, have the same % of idiots that you'd find in pretty much any other cross-section of society. Look at this board for example http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/biggrin.gif heh heh. Should we start a new thread and call it "spot the looney"?

I hope you will contact me again, I enjoyed our last commmunication immensely.
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playa 05-27-2001 05:28 PM

i don't do anal sex its too close to homosexuality,,,also i don't eat pussy
its too dangerous.. http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/wink.gif

and btw i ain't no expert but i think once sperm hits the outside air its no good,,,

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Rice_Master 05-27-2001 09:29 PM

That is not true PLAYA, why do you think sperm is so slimy? So my baby can stay alive man...

TheFLY 05-27-2001 10:20 PM

Yeah after you fuck her in the ass she has to sleep face up so all the cum drips the other way... hahaha -- this is insane -- I guess you have to hose her down afterward and clean our her pipes...

This reminds me of when they told my girlfriend in college to use a condom for oral sex -- as if any guy wants a BJ w/ a condom on -- I'd rather watch TV -- flavored condoms -- give me a fucking break -- I can dip my cock in ice cream and hot fudge (nuts already included) -- that'll taste better than any flavored condom.

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smutcash 05-27-2001 10:44 PM

lmao! CDSmith, that was pretty funny! I think anal intercourse is safer than vaginal intercouse if you don't want to get pregnant, but you should wear a condom during anal sex anyways. Sometimes things are a little messy after..

But the sperm still might drip down into the vagina if you don't wear a condom,so i think a wearing a condom during anal sex is a good idea(if the girl isn't on birth control)
---------- http://www.smutcash.com

CDSmith 05-28-2001 01:23 AM

LMFAO @ ALL O' Y'ALL!!!

I'll try to get through all of your little tidbits here.

First up: Playa --

man, you must be a real barrel of fun for the chicks. "also i don't eat pussy
its too dangerous"

Ya, dangerous how? Man, I can't TELL you how much I absolutely love to eat pussy. The more beautiful the babe, the more I......well, you get the idea. Sex is about pleasure dewd, and as far as protection goes I only do it with women that I know and trust well. Only long term relationships for me. (currently taking applicants)
Also Playa, sperm can live outside the body for as long as 24 hours. They are resilient little buggers.

The Fly --
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"as if any guy wants a BJ w/ a condom on -- I'd rather watch TV "
BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAHAHAAHAHAAAHAAA!!!!!
You kill me man. http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/biggrin.gif KILL!
Also: "flavored condoms -- give me a fucking break -- I can dip my cock in ice cream and hot fudge (nuts already included) -- that'll taste better than any flavored condom." HAHA! Hell, I'd wrap my dick in pizza if the girl was hungry enough! http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/biggrin.gif

Smut --
Messy? Try giving her a cleansing enema before you do the backend boogie, and that should ease your mind about the "mess."

Sincerly, Dr. CD Westheimer http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/biggrin.gif
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Slick 05-28-2001 06:39 AM

Ha ha ha Fly, you hit the nail RIGHT on the head there with your comments. I'm still laughting my ass off, he he he.

Jer 05-28-2001 10:01 AM

TheFLY and CDSmith, I can't stop to laught... haaha http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/smile.gif

TheFLY 05-28-2001 11:25 AM

24 hours holy shit -- where did you hear that? I figured it was a long time though. My first girlfriend said some bullshit like "as soon as it hits air the sperm die" --
-- who's feeding you this nonsense... One thing that always gets me is -- let's say you're at her house -- you didn't bring a condom -- you're hard -- she's rubbing on you (this has happened to me many times) -- and she's wet down there... you can only let her rub so far up your cock -- because of pre-cum... and that shit I'm told more potent than regular sperm...

24 hours -- that's nuts though... One thing that I always wondered is lets say you are taking a bath w/ her -- and you get cum in the water! Oh shit look out for that sperm!

Or what if you're a kid and you wack of in the shower -- 23 hours later your mom takes a bath and supersperm swims up her cooter... Oooooooh snap! Mother fucker!

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-- TheFLY.net/pete.jpg

CDSmith 05-28-2001 01:19 PM

<font face="Book Antiqua" size=+2 color="FFFFCC">LMMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! </font>

Stop it now, I am dying here

c-c-cooter?? BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Ok-kay, would you beleive 3 hours? hee hee. It's the "rhino-virus" (common cold germs) that can live on a surface for that long (or longer)

Damn, that "mom in the shower" thing has got the makins of a new "little Johnny" joke, LOL

Pete, you are mental http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/biggrin.gif
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corvo 05-28-2001 11:34 PM

this is one funny thread.
PLAYA, you don't give head BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA..
they must love you, i can see them all coming back for more BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA....
THUMP
ow.
fell out of my chair.

TheFLY and CDSmith, you guys crack me up

Phil21 05-29-2001 01:14 AM

*cough*

pre-cum is not more potent than "regular sperm". It's all the same shit. http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/smile.gif Pre-cum just can contain a few little spermies that happily swim their way up there, figure it as a leak of sorts. Otherwise the pull-out method (ok, when done correctly. *cough*) would not be as effective as it is (somewhere around 80%, IIRC).

Sperm in most city or pool water will not fare too well either. The chlorene does a number lifeon their expectency, and is pretty damn effective at killing them. I forget the odds of it actually happening in pure water, but it's something insane like 1 in a few hundred million. Does make you wonder though. http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/smile.gif

Hell, most teenagers are so damn fertile birth control is not nearly as effective as it is on older women. It's a well established fact now that birth control forms are a couple percentage points lower in effectiveness on teens, than in the normal population. Add to that "oops I missed a day with the pill" sort of stuff teens are more apt to do, and damn. http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/smile.gif

Believe me, I studied this shit a LOT. And not I have a kid.. Go figure. http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/smile.gif

-Phil

wolfshade 05-29-2001 01:40 AM

We need kids

I mean who else will take over our pornbizz when we retire? http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/biggrin.gif

Wolfshade


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CDSmith 05-29-2001 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by wolfshade:
We need kids
I mean who else will take over our pornbizz when we retire? http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/biggrin.gif

If I die before my parents, I'm willing it all to them (LOL), otherwise I plan to will mine to one of my nephews if I don't have kids http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/board/biggrin.gif

All the recipient has to do is sign up for all my same sponsors and change out the codes and they're good to go. heeeeee

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Paul Markham 12-21-2003 01:50 AM

Lensman is a hypocrite


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