JOKE
 

Three women had a very late night drinking. They left in the early
> morning
> > > hours and went home their separate ways.
> > >
> > > The next day, they all met and compared notes about who was drunker
the
> > > night before.
> > >
> > > The first girl claims that she was the drunkest, saying, "I drove
> straight
> > > home and walked into the house. As soon as I got through the door, I
> > > blew chunks."
> > >
> > > The second said, "You think that was drunk? Hell, I got into my car
and
> > > wrapped my car around the first tree I saw. I don't even have
> insurance!"
> > >
> > > The third proclaimed, "Damn, I was the drunkest by far. When I got
home,
> > > I got into a big fight with my husband, knocked a candle over, and
> burned
> > > the whole house down!"
> > >
> > > The room was silent for a moment. Then, the first girl spoke but
again,
> > >
> > > "Listen girls, I don't think you understand. Chunks is my dog."

HA! That was funny. Thanks for the morning pick me up!

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Peace will come, just kill them all...

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the
floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half.

Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.

The doctor asked patient #1 what he was doing. The patient replied, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?"
The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing.
Patient #1 replied, "Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy.
He thinks he's a lightbulb." The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2's face is going all red.

The doctor asks Patient #1, "If he's your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself"

Patient #1 replies, "What? And work in the dark?"




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unlikely to be Y3K Compliant
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Are you trying to tell me that coconuts migrate ?

LMAO,,,,,,,i needed a good laugh today!! Thanks Bake

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LOL

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HOW TO IDENTIFY WHERE A DRIVER IS FROM.....

1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago.

2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York.

3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: New Jersey.

4. One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston.

5. One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, with gun in lap:
Los Angeles.

6. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California.

7. Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy.

8. One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game: Seattle.

9. One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake,
throwing McDonald's bag out the window: Texas.

10. Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna:
West Virginia.

11. Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above the steering wheel, driving in the left lane at 35 on the Interstate with the left blinker on: Florida.