GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum - If men ruled the world.....

If Men Truly Did Rule The World:
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1. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the butt
and a "Nice hustle, you'll get'em next time" would pretty
much do it.

2. Birth control would come in ale or lager. And condoms
would be available in a wider range of sizes, and taste
and/or smell better too.

3. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it
would only occur in leap years. - Also wedding anniversary's
and wife's birthdays would be on this day too.

4. On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get the
day off to go drinking.

5. St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain exactly the
same but it would be celebrated every month. Same goes
for all other Saint's days too

6. Garbage would take itself out.

7. Regis and Kathie Lee would be chained to a cement mixer
and pushed off the Golden Gate Bridge for the most lucrative
pay-per-view event in world history.

8. The only show opposite "Monday Night Football" would
be "Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle".

9. Tanks would be far easier to rent.

10. When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer
you responded with would actually reduce your fine as in:
Cop: "You know how fast you were going?"
You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the
place."
Cop: "Nice one, that's $10.00 off".

11. Daisy Duke shorts would never go out of style again.

12. Every man would get four real "Get Out of Jail Free"
cards per year. And monopoly money would be valid currency
in the local liquor store

13. Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of
conversation.

14. Instead of a fancy, expensive engagement ring, you could
present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said
"You're #1!".

15. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during
the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the
screen during a time-out.

16. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an
acceptable response to "I love you".

17. The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.

18. "Sorry I'm late but I got wasted last night" would be
an acceptable excuse for tardiness. Aswell as the good old
"Sorry i'm late, i forgot to set my alarm clock" would also
be a good reason.

19. At the end of the workday a whistle would blow and you
would jump out of your window and slide down the tail of a
brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.

20. Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?"
cards.

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