Huge earthquake hits Liverpool, uk
 

Just on Cnn


A major earthquake measuring 7.8 on the Richter scale hit Liverpool in
the early hours of yesterday morning. The epicentre was Huyton.

Casualties were seen wandering aimlessly saying "bang out of order",
"mental" and "that did me ead in". The earthquake decimated the area
causing in excess of £55 worth of damage. Several priceless
collections of mementos from Ibiza and Corfu were damaged beyond repair.

Three preserved areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken up before their Giros arrived. The Liverpool Echo reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered. They are still trying to come to terms with the fact that the damage was caused by something else instead of them.

One resident, Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15 year old mother of four said
"it was such a shock, little Chardonnay-Leigh came running through the
cardboard door into my bedroom crying. My hands were shaking so much
that I could hardly skin up when I was watching Trisha the next morning".

Another local resident known as Macca said the earthquake would not stop him going back to work, after all vandalism, burglaries and graffiti would not do themselves.

The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny
Delight to the area to help the crisis. Rescue workers were still searching through rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings which

include benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Dukes, bone china from
Poundstretcher and a number of Argos catalogues. However, they were unable
to save any furniture from Crazy Georges.

How can you help?

This appeal hopes to raise money for food and clothing parcels for
those unfortunate enough to be caught up in the disaster. Clothing is
most sort after. Most needed are Kappa or other tracksuits (his and
hers), white socks to tuck the tracksuit bottoms into, Burberry caps,
woolly Benny hats and Reebok trainers. Primark clothing is most
welcome.

Food parcels are also needed. They include McCain Micro Chips, Aldi Beans, Monster Munch, Nutella Chocolate Spread and Iceland Pizzas.

Alcohol is also in short supply, mainly Lambrini, White Lightning Cider and Carlsberg Special Brew. Cash donations are also needed, 22p buys a Bic Biro to sign on, 80p buys a portion of chips, and £15 buys 200 Regal from Tommo who has just got back from Kavos.

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Send all your spare cash to my PayPal acount and I will pass most of it through my kidneys

Sorry, but that was very lame.

yeah, that was really lame..

im to lazy to read all that shit

:1orglaugh

being as my boyfriend lives in Liverpool, I had a slight heart attack before I started to read it. Then I had a slight giggle.

I knew someone here had a sense of humour!

Did you come up with it your self? If you did I feel sorry for you.....:1orglaugh

but not too lazy to tell us all about your short attention span?

I have a friend living in Liverpool, it didn't make me laugh at all.

Man, you'd have to replace Liverpool with Harlem for some of these fools to understand the joke.

it aint funny

no

I just received it from my mate in Liverpool - Sort of Liverpool humour.

I spent all of last weekend in Liverpool so I get the jokes. However, there has been a few earthquakes in the UK in the past couple years so it isn't impossible that this would be true too. Monster munch though...honestly, my BF is the only person I know over 30 that eats that stuff.

:1orglaugh People from the UK might appreciate this more !! It did get my attention though but once I started reading I knew it was a joke :2 cents:

Yes, I agree, it is to long for reading, I am too lasy!

go Liverpool FC!!