Best Simpsons lines
 

Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn?t brutally slaughtered?
Homer: Well, I think the veal might have died of loneliness.

Homer: Pff, English. Who needs that? I?m never going to England.

Trent Steel: You like Thai?
Homer: Tie good. You like shirt?

Burns: Oh, ?meltdown?. It?s one of those annoying buzzwords. We prefer to call it an ?unrequested fission surplus?.

Lisa: I think it?s ironic that Dad saved the day while a thinner man would have fallen to his death.
Bart: And I think it?s ironic that for once Dad?s butt actually prevented the release of toxic ga?
Marge: Bart!

Marge: Watch out for the apple pie.
Grandpa: Uh-ohh?
Marge: Grandpa, did you sit on the apple pie?
Grandpa: I sure hope so.

Homer: Oh, my God! Space aliens! Don?t eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them!

Enlightened Kwik-E-Mart CEO: You may ask me three questions.
Apu: That?s great because all I need is one.
Homer: Are you really the head of the Kwik-E-Mart?
CEO: Yes
Homer: Really?
CEO: Yes
Homer: You?
CEO: Yes. I hope this has been enlightening for you.


Who's got some more?

they still run that show?

Uphere they do, they also showed the first man landing on the moon yesterday........ man what have we gone far!

Homer: Welcome to the Internet my friend, how can I help you?

Comic Book Guy: I am interested in upgrading my 28.8 KBaud Internet connection to a 1.5 MBit fiber optic T1 line. Will you be able to provide an IP router that's compatible with my tokenring Ethernet LAN configuration?

Homer: ........... can I have some money now?

10-4 dead buddy

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh classic

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

After Kent Brockman wins the lottery:

Homer: Well, he has all the money in the world, but there's one thing he can't buy.

Marge: What's that?

Homer: .........a dinosaur.

Homer: How much does this job pay?
Karl: Nothing.
Homer: D'oh!
Karl: Unless you're crooked.
Homer: Woohoo!

Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty, and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called... "The Bus That Couldnt Slow Down."

Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?

Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)

Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow, don't bother showing up on Monday.

Homer: Woohoo, a four day weekend!

Homer:

Simpson! Homer Simpson!
He's the greatest guy in history!
From the, town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree.

(crashes)

:1orglaugh

Homer: What's a wedding?Webster's dictionary describes it as the act of removing weeds from one's garden.

Not a quote, but it is fucking hilarious to watch.

Moe is teaching some self defence class: All right, here's the four-one-one folks. Let's say some gangster is dissin your flygirl.

(plays funk music, dances, then pulls out a shotgun)

:1orglaugh

Director: Up and atom!
McBain: Up and at them.
Director: Up and ATOM!
McBain: Up and atdem!
Director: UP AND ATOM!
McBain: UP AND ATEM!
Director: .... better.

Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room!

Santa's Little Helper goes off running with George Bush, leaving Homer alone:

Homer: I guess you might say he's barking up the wrong Bush.

Homer's Brain: There it is, Homer. The cleverest thing you'll ever say and nobody heard it.

Homer: D'oh!

Eddie: Did you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?
Moe: No! [buzz]
All right, maybe I did. But I didn't shoot him. [ding]
Eddie: Checks out. OK, sir, you're free to go.
Moe: Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight. [buzz]
_A_ date. [buzz]
Dinner with friends. [buzz]
Dinner alone. [buzz]
Watching TV alone. [buzz]
All right! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the
Victoria's Secret catalog. [buzz]
[weakly] Sears catalog. [ding]
[angry] Now would you unhook this already, please? I don't
deserve this kind of shabby treatment! [buzz]

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh
ROFLMAO.
What about the time the whole town was searching for some treasure that a burglar had stolen from Springfield and Homer and a few others had dug a bloody deep hole looking for it.
Then some one said:
"How are we going to get out of this hole?"
They all stop for a moment and ponder,then
Homer says "We'll dig our way out!"
And they all start frantically digging even deeper.LOL

DuffMan: looks like this grass could use a little H2000000000000000000000000000H YEAH


:thumbsup

I am literally LAUGHING OUT LOUD !!

I wish I had some to contribute but I haven't watched the Simpson's in a while. I may have to try and catch an episode tomorrow.

Homer: No beer and no TV make Home something, something.

Marge: Go Crazy?

Homer: DONT MIND IF I DO (and proceeds to flip out completely)

Lisa: Mom, dad, there is something that i have to do and you may not not aprove of it. (then leaves to go outside)

Homer: Marge, she's going to narc on our stash

Marge: What stash?

Homer: Thats right.......... What stash?



:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

I believe in Jebus! I believe in Jebus!

haha thats a good one

n e thing said by homer is good

This is purely from memory.. Most of you guy's seem to have it all down to every detail. This is from the episode when Marge starts into a pretzel business to spite her friends... Homer asks a favor of Fat Tony the local mob boss.....

Fat Tony: My wife keeps nagging me saying, "where's the pretzel moneys?"

Classic moment. Also with the mob guys pointing guns at the girl scouts telling them to get out of springfield from their limo, but nothing said...

SOmething i miss?

I didnt get that one


I have been watching simpsons for 5 years starigt

Homer: Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done.

After a storm clears Homer and Marge see a beautiful sunset, and Homer says, "Wow, I wish God were alive to see this".

Comedy fuckin' gold.

Homer: I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals FA-LAMING!

Couldn't narrow it down to a season, but was before 1999. I haven't watched their newer episodes, I'm really surprised Matt Groening or however you spell his last name still finds stuff to write about....

It ended with Marge's friends going to the Triads or something, and a fight on the simpsons lawn... If you've just been watching their new stuff the past 5 years, I would be willing to bet all of the great moments were in the first 5-6 seasons... Someone tell me if they've fallen off at all lately.... maybe I should watch their newer stuff :P

Buy my content.

Homer: (when bart isa being stalked by Sideshow Bob) (jumps on his bed late at night...) HEY BART WANNA SEE MY NEW CHAINSAW AN HOCKEY MASK?!?!":thumbsup

When Bart is going to be Montgomery Burns benefactor to his vast millions ...

Homer: "what ya goona do ...realease the dogs...?"

"Release the Bees....?"

Realease the dogs with the bees in their mouth...?"

I nearly shat myself:thumbsup

Clicked sig .. AWESOME !! Livewire rockin' in the background right now :bigears Crûe !!

thanks dude!:thumbsup

Looking for a good copy of "you gotta another thing coming" by priest

if you find anyone who has it send me a line through email...I can convert it from whatever format...had no luck on Kazaaa..... but HELL YA ITS OLD CRUE THAT REMOVES THE PANTIES !!!!! THAT WHOLE ALBUM KICKS ARSE! I also wanna find Come on an dance in Mpeg or whatever :thumbsup

Doh

Hostile crowd: "BOOOOOOOOOO"

Mr. Burns: "Why are they booing me Smithers?"

Smithers: "I don't think they were booing you sir, I think they were saying Boo-urns Boo-urns"

Mr. Burns (addressing crowd): "Were you saying Boo...or Boo-urns?"

Hostile crowd: "BOOOOOO"

One old man: "I was saying Boo-urns"

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh that was awesome too:thumbsup

O.J: " Absolutely, positively, 100% not guilty.".

Edit:

Marge: Watch out for the apple pie.
Grandpa: Uh-ohh?
Marge: Grandpa, did you sit on the apple pie?
Grandpa: I sure hope so.

My fave :thumbsup Classic! :1orglaugh

MY fav was when Marge and Homer are arguing about who does what with the kids and homer so manly replied

Jeez marge Its uterUS not UterYOU.

:1orglaugh

Lisa Needs Braces
Dental Plan
Lisa Needs Braces
Dental Plan
Lisa Needs Braces
Dental Plan
Lisa Needs Braces
Dental Plan
Lisa Needs Braces
Dental Plan
Lisa Needs Braces
Dental Plan
Lisa Needs Braces
Dental Plan
Lisa Needs Braces
Dental Plan
Lisa Needs Braces
Dental Plan
Lisa Needs Braces
Dental Plan
Lisa Needs Braces
Dental Plan
Lisa Needs Braces
Dental Plan
Lisa Needs Braces
Dental Plan
Lisa Needs Braces
Dental Plan

When the kid says "Im so hungry I could eat at Arby's"

Classic.

From my favorite episode. As Homer is falling into a black hole he says "there's so much I don't know about astrophysics. I wish I'd read that book by that wheelchair guy"

I am crying from laughing so much :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh Oh man, i almost shit myself