Zen Sarcasm
 

Zen Sarcasm
> >
> > 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,
> > for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much
> > leave me the hell alone.
> > 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a
> > leaky tire.
> > 3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
> > neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
> > 4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
> > 5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be
> > promoted.
> > 6. No one is listening until you fart.
> > 7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
> > 8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
> > 9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of
> > car payments.
> > 10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their
> > shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you
> > have their shoes.
> > 11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
> > 12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to
> > fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
> > 13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
> > probably worth it.
> > 14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
> > 15. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

LOL

Some of those are pretty damn true ! :thumbsup