WOMEN! For the men...
 

:1orglaugh :321GFY

Women Are Like

...the stock market
They're irrational and can bankrupt you if you're not careful.

...computers
They take too long to warm up and a better model always comes along once you've already got one.

...Saran Wrap
Useful but clingy.

...horses
Fun to pet and ride but a pain to feed and clean up after.

...parking meters
If you don't feed them with enough money you face serious consequences.

...fax machines
Useful for one very specific purpose but otherwise just high-maintenance paperweights.

...political campaign contributors
If you let them talk about themselves long enough you wind up in bed with them.

...refrigerators
They're always cold and never seem to have a beer when you need one.

...blue jeans
They look good for a while but eventually they fade and have to be replaced.

...country western songs
They're annoying, they all sound alike, but if you really listen to them you'll get depressed and drink a lot.


A woman is like a pack of cards ...

... You need a heart to love her

... A diamond to marry her

... A club to smash her head in

... And a spade to bury the bitch



Why are women like snow flakes??


They are all beautiful.
They are all different.
They can all be cold as ice.
But they'll all melt when they land on your face......


SEXIST SHORTS

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman: before marriage and after.

:1orglaugh Nice :thumbsup

:1orglaugh

www.nomarriage.com
www.costofsex.com

What security is there for men in marriage?

If I cheat on my wife, she gets half my shit.
If she cheats on me, she still gets half my shit.
Why the fuck should i get married?

from the nomarriage website

All the older guys I know, guys that are 55 and older are telling me the same story; don't do it. It just turns to crap no matter what you do. They'd rather be independent. At best it's a tedious bore. At worst a living hell with financial ruin thrown in for good measure. The problem is that when you're young, you just naturally fall into this mind set where your whole self image is based on how women regard you, and so you spend all your money and energy trying to make yourself acceptable to them. Then later in life the shine wears off and you finally realize that you've wasted yourself on a bunch of crap.

As men, we all know that a woman's primary objective is to marry:

1. Girl pressures guy for marriage.

2. Guy delays.

3. Girl gradually starts destroying guy's self-esteem and eliminating his friends.

4. Guy becomes too weak and too much of a loser to find something better than what he has.

5. Girl starts to limit sex. In effect controlling the only good thing in the guy's life.

6. Guy is in despair. Capitulates to marriage.


Then 5-10 years later the guy is an empty shell of his former self. Girl is a ruthless manipulating machine. Girl divorces loser husband. Girl takes 80% of guy's stuff because the guy is too brain dead to find a good lawyer. Girl lives happily ever after. Guy becomes bald alcoholic who dies of heart attack at 45 years old.

LMFAO. First of all you actually NEED to have stuff to offer. Getting half of nothing, well is actually nothing. And I am sure that nobody wants half of anyone's parents place :)

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Sounds like a personal problem. Perhaps you should stop chasing after the younger boys and date someone your own age .. oh wait, those men would know better :)

Sadly momma's boys do not have age limits.

No no dear you have it all wrong, that's what seperates the boys from the men. Time for a diaper change? Someone's getting a little cranky. And for the record, you can't chase the boys that are coming at ya head on, I now start to run the other way. :)

Besides, you don't know who I am or what I do or who I date ;)

Stupid and probably FAT bitch.

Go Fuck Your Self !

HAHAHAAH hit a nerve, seems to be pretty obvious the reason you are now single LMFAO What's wrong? You have half of nothing and back at yo momma's house too?

HAHAHA can't take the heat? Get the fuck outta the kitchen! Oh wait, you probably only see one when momma calls you to the dinner table!:321GFY

Oh and tuff guy, before you go calling anyone stupid, fix that sig of yours. Moron!

Ruh! Roh!

I think his wittle feelings where hurt by women

And don't talk to my friend like that ass clown :321GFY

sound like a drama of a women hater :Graucho

You have no idea who Sherie is do you? If you did you wouldn't have been dumb enough to say what you did. Sherie is hella cool and could also rip you a new asshole faster then you could cry to your mommie

hahaha :1orglaugh Great!

woah .. this thread took a twist & two hops! No personal name calling peeps, it's NOT THAT SERIOUS!

Kirkos, for your sake I hope you never meet her (or her friends).
Your balls would probably prefer their current location more than they would residing on the other side of your asshole.

Sherie is one cool chick. Not many other people that I would fly to another country for just to go to their birthday party :thumbsup

Says the name calling death threat maker in the other thread.

:winkwink:

:1orglaugh

Um, dipshit, don't you know Sherie's got GREAT boobs?

Yeah, what she said :thumbsup
of course the rest of her is pretty decent too. :winkwink:

:1orglaugh I'm still gonna murder u ... ughh, wait could this be used as premeditated evidence?

pics? :Graucho

Kimmy!! You took the words outta my mouth!! only I was going to say great RACK!! lol

obviuosly this idiot has the mentality of a 12 year old which is why he responded with an insult...:321GFY

I guess nobody has ever accused you of being a genius huh? LOL

Kimmy and Odie, yes these boobs have gotten me everywhere in life....I am willing to donate to the first few ladies that require more brains too. ;)

I knew there was something extra special in those gorgeus tatas!! hmmm, I think there'd be a huge line up for that one!! lol

Are you going to do some testing first??? Gotta make sure they are worthy...LMAO!!

Now I knwo where to go when I lose my mind!! lol..:winkwink:

Oh sweetie, don't you fret. They are more worthy than Alx Rose on his hands and knees begging for my hand in marriage! ;)

You mean you want to do some testing, they've been tried tested and they are true LOL

haha must be alot of sexual tension in the air today


beware the black widow:Graucho :1orglaugh

I meant...we gotta do a "Im n idiot test" to make sure the idiots are worthy of the privilege!! lol

I know u'rs are quality!!:winkwink:

now i'm lost.. I want more hatred

I don't have enough of in me today :winkwink:

Christ I don't have all day to pick through the idiots. Jebus, I do have work to do you know! I am not donating to idiots anyway....You can KK can have some and that's IT! And thank you re: the quality, I worked hard to keep them in shape LOLOL

Brad, what are you talking about LOL And why did you leave the party so early, I was looking for ya....

I hate when you order a burger hold the tomato and they put the tomato on it anyway. Is that enough hatred for you?