bricklayer's accident report... too painful, but too funny.
 

This is a bricklayer's
> accident
> report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent
> of
> the Workers'Compensation board. This is a true story.
>
>
>
> Dear Sir
>
> "I am writing in response to your request for additional information in
> Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause
> of
> my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the
> following
> details will be sufficient.
> I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working
> alone
> on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I
> found
> that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to
> be
> slightly in excess of 500 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by
> hand, I
> decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached
> to
> the side of the building on the sixth floor.
> Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the
> barrel
> out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope,
>
> holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will
> note
> in
> Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs. Due to my
> surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my
> presence
> of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded
> at
> a
> rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third
> floor,
> I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equal,
> impressive
> speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the
> broken
> collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed
> only
> slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of
> my
> right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this
> time
> I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the
> rope,
> in spite of beginning to experience a great deal of pain. At
> approximately
> the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the
> bottom
> fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that
> barrel
> weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you
> can
> imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the
> vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts
> for
> the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my
> legs
> and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter
> with
> the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell
> into
> the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I
> am
> sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain,
>
> unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let
> go
> of
> the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey
> back
> down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.
> I hope this answers your inquiry."

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