what would you do if..
 

you were hearing voices daily and seeing the most fucked up shit in flashes of like 15 second to 3 minutes.. like dead bodies or demons floating all around..

im drunk, so i dunno why im asking, but when i was in high school ,this was a daily occurance for me..

went to psychotherepy for 5 months because of that shit, eventually lying to my therepist because i couldnt take talking about it anymore.

over the years ive gotten a lot better and my hallucinations are very rare now... they still happen.. but nothing like they use to be, and im grateful

i couldnt ever live like how i was before, but yeah.. im drunk and whenever im like this it gets me thinking..

what would you do in my situation back then?
what would you think?
how would you view the so called "God"
how would you respect your parents who were convinced you were insane?
how would you think of the other kids in school who thought you were crazy?
would you really respect the gothic fucks who admired you for the mental torture you had to live through?

i wish i could put this shit past me, but it keeps coming up, i dunno why, i guess its the fear that at any time it could come back just as bad or worse than it once was..

god damn... why the hell am i asking gfy about this?

but fuck it.. i need to talk to someone..

it's all in your head. your just trying to find a way to be misable. smoke chronic. that'll help

done it.. been there... quit it, doesnt help

i duno what it is that gets to be... just the literal fact that i could of been completely out of my mind, loosing the whole foundation of what was real and what was not..

no closure, not knowing if that was the end of the beginning.

hah

no ambition today either.. just wanna get married and start a family and forget my past.... or that. lol

i have this theory

god and satan...

what if their the same being??

i mean, every religous person says that the bad things in life are tests by god, to see how strong your faith is..

by the time youve had enough, nothing left, you pray forgiveness and pray for everything to stop and to give you the strength to move on..

satan on the other hand. you pray to him to give your very soul for things to get better...

isnt this the same fucking thing?

im not religous for this very reason. they both force you to the same decisioun... to make you beg for your faith, to beg to make the bad things in your life to just stop and get better,,

if there is a god and a satan.. they con you into you giving them your absolute faith,

and i think its bullshit, absolute bullshit, its torture that they try to put their followers thru to finally submit to them.

i cant buy it

any other input other than the fuck recommending i kill myself?

i had stuff liek that happen to me.. except i was always the victim in whatever hallucination. In one of them i was in an all girls' school on a dorm (yes, lots of teens in schoolgirl outfits. ;)) and there was a fire and everyone got out except me and this other girl.. and we died.. and then 3 hours later they showed on the news that that just happened somewhere with two chicks on a girls' school dorm. fun stuff.

my older sister has had 2 dreams of my being shot and killed, ive had recurring dreams of being shot and killed at leat once a month since i was 16.. im 21 now.

i dont see myself living past age 30.

:1orglaugh


Picture saved to use at another time... :thumbsup

you need a girl mate

i've had reccuring dreams of being eaten alive by a skinless monster. i dont see how that changes anything

the worst episode i ever had was, i was really stressed one night

couldnt sleep

im about to goto bed and i see a man at the dresser

i was still living with my parents at the time, i shared a room with my brother..

i yelled loud enough to wake him up, and asked him who was at the dresser..

he woke up and turned on the light.

when he did that, the man turned into death and flew towards me..

my legs collapsed and i fell to the floor screaming..

if my legs didnt give out, i would have attempted to jump out my window im sure.

thats when my parents forced me to see a doctor.

ok.. going to bed

probably gonna pass out.. pz

know what? im scared on what's going on in here

all thats been long gone for nearly 5 years..

the pic is great:)

not placed at th right place I think