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-   -   Okay... anyone ever kill anyone before? (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=325247)

BradM 07-12-2004 09:53 PM

Okay... anyone ever kill anyone before?
 
I just got in an argument about politics at the store. He said "stfu you have no idea what you're talking about you damn liberal" and I was like "stfu and die you dork, you don't even own a tgp what are you doing here"

Then he says "keyboard warrior"

And then I stabbed him.
I hid the body in my back yard. What can I use to decompose the body fast?

brizzad 07-12-2004 09:55 PM

bleach, salt, and mustard to hide the small

C_U_Next_Tuesday 07-12-2004 09:56 PM

plant the body in your neighbors yard and frame them :1orglaugh

brizzad 07-12-2004 09:57 PM

just bury it, then build a basketball court over it

NaughtyJenn 07-12-2004 09:57 PM

put the body in some waste containers and let it decompose into a soup then get a child delever the soup to his family, then when they are done eating let them know..


(sorry that is very evil)

Hung Like Bull 07-12-2004 09:58 PM

Aren't you that fat kid who drives the $1000 Honda? :1orglaugh

jscott 07-12-2004 09:58 PM

burn all the hair
shave off all the fingertips
cut the body up, burn it while mixed with wood chips
shovel the ashes into a bucket, or garbage can
sprinkle them into a river or ocean
:thumbsup

jscott 07-12-2004 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by brizzad
just bury it, then build a basketball court over it
:1orglaugh lol

BradM 07-12-2004 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hung Like Bull
Aren't you that fat kid who drives the $1000 Honda? :1orglaugh
Yes

BradM 07-12-2004 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hung Like Bull
Aren't you that fat kid who drives the $1000 Honda? :1orglaugh
Also, I have the need to pick fights, because I am insecure and own a yellow sack of shit car. I am jelous of my peers and want nothing more than to make more than minimum wage. I am proud of my car because it is a high performance vehicle, built to seduce 18 year old highschool girls to have sex with me. I truly believe my car is a work of art, just like me which is why I am so overconfident.



There is one thing in that statement that IS true. Can you find it?

Big Cheese 07-12-2004 10:12 PM

Get some pigs. They'll take care of the body :thumbsup



Ps. I've never actually done this, just learned from the movie Snatch incase the day ever comes :BangBang: :)
:Graucho

Marcus Aurelius 07-12-2004 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Big Cheese
Get some pigs. They'll take care of the body :thumbsup



Ps. I've never actually done this, just learned from the movie Snatch incase the day ever comes :BangBang: :)
:Graucho

They'll go through bone like butter. Love that movie.

KRL 07-12-2004 10:23 PM

http://www.chemical.co.th/eng/chemi/images/hcl.jpg

Worked for Jeffrey Damher. :1orglaugh

eroswebmaster 07-12-2004 10:24 PM

"you don't even own a tgp" ROFL classic.

Evil1 07-12-2004 10:26 PM

fucking amateurs!!!

1 reciprocal (sawzall) saw, about 10 blades. 2 wood for flesh, 8 metal for bones. (you only need 5-6 but it's better to be safe)

1 ball peen hammer

some old news paper.

Carve the evidence up in the tub, nice and small chunks, flush about a cup of flesh/organs at a time. Now you're down to bones, cut them to about 3" slices, put them on some news paper and hammer them in to powder, flush.

Rinse tub, burn newspaper and shower curtain, soak all the blades in bleach, head to the fridge and grab a beer and a snack to reward yourself.

BradM 07-12-2004 10:27 PM

EVIL1 that was the best shit I have read alllllllll night. Holy fuck that's awesome :helpme :glugglug :1orglaugh

brizzad 07-12-2004 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Evil1
fucking amateurs!!!

1 reciprocal (sawzall) saw, about 10 blades. 2 wood for flesh, 8 for bones. (you only need 5-6 but it's better to be safe)

1 ball peen hammer

some old news paper.

Carve the evidence up in the tub, nice and small chunks, flush about a cup of flesh/organs at a time. Now you're down to bones, cut them to about 3" slices, put them on some news paper and hammer them in to powder, flush.

Rinse tub, burn newspaper and shower curtain, soak all the blades in bleach, head to the fridge and grab a beer and a snack to reward yourself.



damn

SleazyDream 07-12-2004 10:28 PM

only an idiot who's never killed someone would talk like that

pxxx 07-12-2004 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by C_U_Next_Tuesday
plant the body in your neighbors yard and frame them :1orglaugh
There is nothing right about this. That is just pure wrong.

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

fuzzylogic 07-12-2004 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mdcq
They'll go through bone like butter. Love that movie.
that works really well, pigs are definitly the answer

Evil1 07-12-2004 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BradM
EVIL1 that was the best shit I have read alllllllll night. Holy fuck that's awesome :helpme :glugglug :1orglaugh
I can also teach you how to bake one HELL of a pan of brownies... if you're interested:1orglaugh

beemk 07-12-2004 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Evil1
fucking amateurs!!!

1 reciprocal (sawzall) saw, about 10 blades. 2 wood for flesh, 8 metal for bones. (you only need 5-6 but it's better to be safe)

1 ball peen hammer

some old news paper.

Carve the evidence up in the tub, nice and small chunks, flush about a cup of flesh/organs at a time. Now you're down to bones, cut them to about 3" slices, put them on some news paper and hammer them in to powder, flush.

Rinse tub, burn newspaper and shower curtain, soak all the blades in bleach, head to the fridge and grab a beer and a snack to reward yourself.

creepy

brizzad 07-12-2004 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Evil1
I can also teach you how to bake one HELL of a pan of brownies... if you're interested:1orglaugh

if it involves heroin, im sure he is interested :thumbsup

BradM 07-12-2004 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by brizzad
if it involves heroin, im sure he is interested :thumbsup
you new at this? acid is the way to go baby

brizzad 07-12-2004 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BradM
you new at this? acid is the way to go baby

4204L

Napolean 07-12-2004 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BradM
I just got in an argument about politics at the store. He said "stfu you have no idea what you're talking about you damn liberal" and I was like "stfu and die you dork, you don't even own a tgp what are you doing here"

Then he says "keyboard warrior"

And then I stabbed him.
I hid the body in my back yard. What can I use to decompose the body fast?

did you and him really say "stfu" or "shut the fuck up"??

BradM 07-12-2004 11:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Napolean
did you and him really say "stfu" or "shut the fuck up"??
I said "stfu" are you kidding? I'm not going to say "shut the fuck up" to him it would take too long.

Napolean 07-12-2004 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BradM
I said "stfu" are you kidding? I'm not going to say "shut the fuck up" to him it would take too long.
no it wouldnt.. their the same number of syllables.. it would take a long time to type yeah..

but to say, its the same..

but yeah, now im being a smartass, im going to go cut myself now to teach myself a lesson.

Mr. Marks 07-13-2004 12:28 AM

Posts like these make me miss Amp.

quantum-x 07-13-2004 12:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by brizzad
damn
hell no..

hang em upside down in your bathrub, slit their throat, pump their arms to get the last bits of blood out. Once it's washed away, you've got a nice clean corpse.

Multiple choices here-
Use a nice saw to chop them into bag sized bits, double bag and spray w/ capsicum / pepper spray to keep the dogs / animals outta there, wait for trash night and place em in random bins *not* in your neighbourhood.

Or, take your time, break all the bones with a nice hammer, visit your local building site and add them to the foundations.

JFK 07-13-2004 03:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Evil1
fucking amateurs!!!

1 reciprocal (sawzall) saw, about 10 blades. 2 wood for flesh, 8 metal for bones. (you only need 5-6 but it's better to be safe)

1 ball peen hammer

some old news paper.

Carve the evidence up in the tub, nice and small chunks, flush about a cup of flesh/organs at a time. Now you're down to bones, cut them to about 3" slices, put them on some news paper and hammer them in to powder, flush.

Rinse tub, burn newspaper and shower curtain, soak all the blades in bleach, head to the fridge and grab a beer and a snack to reward yourself.

Yes Folks, we have a real serial killer in the making here:thumbsup

fishy 07-13-2004 03:49 AM

Cut him in little pieces, and then make hamburgers & hotdogs out of him.

You'll make a fortune in no-time! Ever wondered why McDonalds Happy Meal tastes so good? Yum yum.

187 07-13-2004 04:06 AM

wait until years have passed and your enemy and nobody else would consider you a suspect

make sure it's autumn

borrow your friends car because yours wont start

find out enemys schedual

dig a 10 foot hole half a mile straight into the woods

steal a pair of shoes

wear 5 layers of socks

cover all of your body in multipile layers of clothing

hair net

wait for the moment they step foot on a dirt surface when nobody is around but the enemy

force enemy at gun point to write an elaborate suicide note

do what you need to do as quick and silently as possible, dont give them time to scream

wrap the entire body in saran wrap and then in 2 large sleeping bags

place it in your saran wrapped trunk in your friends car parked down the street 50 yards

shovel the dirt with blood on it into a multiple layered bag

shave and burn all finger/toe prints and hair

remove all teeth so no dental records can be pulled

smash the head so severely that the bald corpse would never be identifyable

fill the 10 foot hole with gasoline and burn the corpse for a few hours straight

fill in hole, cover area in autumn leaves

now never think about or speak about what you just didn't do

burn EVERYTHING

(you're an idiot and are going to hell if you take somebodys life, i was just feeling creative ;)

Matthew 07-13-2004 05:04 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by BradM
Also, I have the need to pick fights, because I am insecure and own a yellow sack of shit car. I am jelous of my peers and want nothing more than to make more than minimum wage. I am proud of my car because it is a high performance vehicle, built to seduce 18 year old highschool girls to have sex with me. I truly believe my car is a work of art, just like me which is why I am so overconfident.



There is one thing in that statement that IS true. Can you find it?

I think it's that you believe that your car is a work of art :1orglaugh

newbreed 07-13-2004 05:27 AM

For all the people suggesting cutting the person up, ever heard of Luminal? Newbs.

Take the guy on a hunting trip. Oops, there was an accident, he slipped in front of me, I got spooked, I slipped and had my finger on the trigger. Damn, is that what a shotgun shell does to the back of a hhuman head? Sory over. And bonus, the Coroner's office gets to clean it up. :thumbsup

jimmyf 07-13-2004 05:38 AM

Put the body in your freezer, then you can look at every once in awhile. You'll be able 2 think about what you've done for a long time.

Some of you are sick

mardigras 07-13-2004 06:05 AM

Post all the details on public messageboards, including address and directions... dozens of people will show up to help you dispose of it:glugglug

mensniche 07-13-2004 07:32 AM

LOL

are the bones going to be an issue... I have thought about this before... shit i'm I wrong for thinking about the quickest way to dispose of somebody?

kowntafit 07-13-2004 08:45 AM

Rewind and watch the movie again.

Phoenix 07-13-2004 08:55 AM

damn....amateur hour at its best


lay your bathroom with plastic


cut the body into small parts in the tub. wrap them in news papaer once the blood is all out.


rinse your tub and floors and every part of your washroom with liquid nitrogen...just splash that shit everywhere..it denautres all dna, and removes all stains of blood..there is no chance of them finding blood in your room take 1/4 of the remains on a hike way out in the middle of nowhere, and bury the pieces..do the same with the rest in far off places


problem solved.


to be safe repeat the liquid nitrogen in any room. dump your clothes and shoes you were wearing during everything, trim your fingernails, and shave your head...get rid of all of it...quick like.

good luck

HammerALL 07-13-2004 09:00 AM

Use Lime to dissolve the body and ammonia to clean up the mess.

And never ask me about my business again.

brand0n 07-13-2004 09:07 AM

I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig."


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